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Stephen Colbert: The Bible and Roma Downey emaculate audition

virgin Roma DowneyNo getting around that. Actress Roma Downey got the part of the Virgin Mary from sleeping with the producer Mark Burnett.

So more than a billion people are now going to open their Bibles! Does that mean millions of people are going to cut their children’s throats? Or gather 200 human heads in a sack to be God’s chosen King?  Or stone to death anyone cooking on a Sunday? Or that we go into Iran and kill every man, woman, child, animal and plant other than the female virgins which we are to enslave and screw the crap out of? Or cheer when God kills every human been on Earth but the Burnetts because he is displeased with a few people? Happy day! Happy Day.

But oh you say, look at all the healing Jesus did to lepers, cripples and the blind! Yeah, well Peter Popov does that a dozen times a day, what’s new? And you know, 2000 years ago when anyone GOT BETTER it was a miracle.

I do think that most people who watched this thing found it not only far sillier than they thought it was, but far more horrifying as well.  The lessons are terrible. Well except that we should kick the crap of bankers and not throw stones. But those parts of the story never seemed to make it to American Christianity.