web analytics
Menu Close

Study Finds slapping people in stores still frowned upon, The Onion

Grocery store slappingWhy a bald guy?  Well there ya go!

This makes fun of all those “studies” that find what we already know.  Much like Dr Phil who has changed the old paradigm of the Jerry Springer show from stroking our egos by laughing at dirtballs to the new paradigm of stroking our egos by laughing at dirtballs AND hearing Dr Phil give them advice that we all understood by the time we were 10 years old. Hey! Stop with the meth and titty bars and get a job! Now there’s some good advice, let me tell you!

But seriously, I would like some feedback from any of you bald men or women out there. Are peels sticky enough to hold the banana upright? Will letting the peels sit for a time make them sticker and adhere better? Or maybe a headband of some sort to keep it on?

For if it is an easy matter, I would give the head a shave some serious thought about doing this next time I go to the Kroger. It is so boring in there. It could use a little something to liven it up. Speaking of titty bars, where do strippers buy their groceries?