Jordan Klepper, America, sweet land of mercury and lethal injections

“The Supreme Court has finally brought justice back to America, remember America where big business wins, it’s a little hard to breath and we get to decide how to super painfully decide your death, that’s the country I’m proud to fly my confederate flag over!” Jordan Klepper Daily show

Jordan Klepper and Jon Stewart cprSo what about beheading as our form of execution here in America. It’s quick and easy. The ends are the same.  I do wonder how long your head keeps working while it is placed on your chest for pictures? One long minute let me tell you. Ah religion! We need more religion in our executions.

Hey they beheaded some chicks over in Syria the other day, the rest of the region is mad as Hell, they were supposed to be stoned to death for sorcery not beheaded. Beheading is for chicks who cheat on the husbands.  Seems sorcery is a step up from religion.

And back here in America everyday it is pounded into us that religion is more about bigotry than anything else, those other people need to be squashed or at least told they are going to Hell to suffer eternal pain and damnation.

Did you hear that we spent half a billion dollars to train 10,000 freedom fighters in Iraq and Syria and we only managed to get 100? The rest ran away.  Money well spent.  Religious wars are fun, we need to get into this one again and again and again. God is Great, Jesus is Lord, Shalom… Religion is not the solution, religion is the problem.

Killing is the answer

Killing is the answer

We expect to hear that “killing in the answer” from Texas, the old confederacy, Evangelical Christians, the Tea Party, Republicans and bikers, but North Eastern Liberals and Catholics in Boston? Proof in the pudding that when it comes to capital punishment, justice is decided on emotions rather than rule of law.

Bernie Sanders can never be President not because he is an old Jewish socialist, but because he is against capital punishment. Bernie Sanders is not part of American exceptionalism.

Bill and Denise Richards speak against Death Penalty in Boston Marathon Bombing

“We are in favor of and would support the Department of Justice in taking the death penalty off the table in exchange for the defendant spending the rest of his life in prison without any possibility of release and waiving all of his rights to appeal.” Bill and Denise Richards who lost their child in the Boston Marathon Bombing

bill and Denise Richards no death penalty

Now this is news, not the usual non news of case after case of angry victims crying for death so they can have, what to they call it now, Christian Closure? They sure CLOSED THINGS with that guy on the cross hey?

A few polls may help us with this.

Boston polls show only about 30% are for the death penalty in this case, which is about as grievous as it gets.

Nationwide 71% of white people are for the death penalty while only 44% of blacks. A case of whose ox is being gored I would guess.

76% of Republicans are hand in hand with Muslims and Sharia Law on the death penalty while only 46% of Democrats are.

Over all, it is 63% of Americans in line with China, Saudi Arabia, Iran, Somalia, Pakistan and Texas in support of nailing strapping someone down to a cross [horizontally rather than vertically] and poking them in the side arm with a sharp stick until they are dead.

What about Christians you ask!  Well Googling that opened a can a worms. Only 30% of the Millennial Christians are for capitol punishment while 42% of Christian baby boomers enjoy a good crucifixion. But something must be askew in that as 85% of Americans are Christian and 76% of Republicans who represent Christians, and with Texas and the South being the Christian Bible Belt of America where we do the most executing.

So why is Boston, you know the secular Northeast unReal part of America, so much more Christian on this issue than the South and the great heartland where real American Christians live and shoot?

The obvious answer seems to be the difference between hellfire evangelical protestants and child molesting Catholics.[Just trying to fair and balanced here] But when you add into the mix all the Christians in Europe with much lower polls regarding executions perhaps it is not about religion at all, but rather what it means to be civilized. For as we see around the world, the more religious a place is the less civilized they are.