Tea Party Convention, Sarah Palin, Chaucer, Dickens and Stupid Aholeson February 8, 2010 at 12:17 pm
In the years following Godfrey Chaucer the phrase "stupid assholes" became one of the most definitive and ubiquitous in the English lexicon. Using the Pimbo Bender we trekked back to the 13th century to find where exactly the term originated.
We found a a pre-relative of Charles Dickens who we now know came up with the phrase because of our unintended bending of time and space. We are responsible for one of the most descriptive nuances in the history of Western philosophy which has endured for over six centuries. To this day, everyone knows who the "stupid assholes" are. A term that needs no further explanation to gain the nod of human kind.
So as chance would have it, this Dickens fellow saw the space around him bending, and noticing our Hawaiian shirts knew something was amiss. He knocked us abeam of the thing and disappeared into time and place unknown to return moments later mumbling about stupid assholes.
We jumped back abeam of the thing and hit the reset switch which took us back to its last known stop. Where had this Dickens fellow been to find the stupidest assholes of all time?
We found ourselves bending onto a hotel stage in Nashville, Tennessee next to us a strange woman with big hair and glasses saying nasty stupid things to a cheering crowd. As we looked out over the audience, past the sea of aging whiteness, above the calorie adjusted flagwear and slack minds, we saw the faces full of joyous rapture as they absorbed a lifetime supply of ignorant tripe from an airhead with her speech written on the palm of her hand. The Tea Baggers, the original and definitive stupid assholes.