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Ten Things the Republican Base Does after a Sarah Palin Speech

When the Republican Base goes to a Sarah Palin rally, it’s much like pubescent girls at their first Boy Band concert. They scream, faint, have orgasms and pee in their pants. No political speaker, including Ronald Reagan, has ever so affected the dumb and dumber crowd than Sarah Palin. Mr. Potatoe Head himself, Dan Qualye, pales in comparison.

Ten things voters do when they get home from a Sarah Palin speech 

10) Telll the children Barack Hussien Obama is a Muslim terrorist

9)  Get the front of the trailer back up on its jacks

8)  Like Joe, down a sixpack before doing any thinking

7) See about a carry permit for at least one assault rifle

6)  Tell the neighbors you think the old lady with the wart next door is a witch

5)  Buy a nail gun, a rubber apron and beef, pork and chicken live

4)  Make sure to never meet or greet a Black person (or foreigner)

3)  Do whatever Rush Limbaugh, Fox News and the minister tell you to do

2)  Complain about sexual morality other than sexual debauchery within the family

And the number one thing to do after a Sarah Palin speech…

1) Doggone it! Go get that GED you betcha!