Donald Trump’s numerous executive orders have received much criticism, but what happens when he turns his attention to Canada and the Keystone Pipeline? Canadian comedy show 22 Minutes finds out. Canadians are nice and understanding if one can generalize, but they’re wise to keep an eye on their neighbors in the U.S. The crew at 22 Minutes thoroughly lampoons Trump’s ‘travel ban,’ which only affects certain ‘tremendously Muslim’ countries, and the people who live there – but ‘not the good ones,’ so not to worry.
Closer to home, Trump decides to act on the Keystone Pipeline, and feels the project should be named for, a great hero of Trump’s – Paul Blart, star of the movies you’ve probably missed – but didn’t really ‘miss’ – ‘Mall Cop #1 and #2.’ Trump ties up loose ends by explaining how cheap the pipeline is to run, because it works by gravity. Because Donnie T has the biggest brain, he can demonstrate the process using only a soda and a straw. Trump is unaware that he’s also doing a spectacular job of demonstrating the biggest dangers of the project. A great selling point has always been how many jobs will be created by the project. I wouldn’t say that it would create the number of jobs Trump predicts, but there will certainly be a lot of full time jobs in certain areas. If you’re considering a future job field – think duck washing.
Oh Canada! While lampooning Trump is fun, the following article from Fusion shows his terrifying lack of knowledge about the Dakota Access and Keystone pipelines. As usual, no one can make this man seem more clueless than he does himself.
President Donald Trump, a beacon of self-awareness in these trying times, said on Tuesday that he didn’t even know the Dakota Access and Keystone XL pipelines, two extremely divisive projects he resurrected during his first days in office, were “controversial.”
“As you know, I approved two pipelines that were stuck in limbo forever,” Trump said at a listening session with local sheriffs in video posted online by ABC News. “I don’t even think it was controversial. You know, I approved them, and I haven’t even heard one call from anybody saying, ‘Oh, that was a terrible thing you did.’”
“I haven’t had one call,” he continued. “Usually if I do something, it’s like bedlam. I haven’t had one call, from anybody.”
The president went on to say “nobody showed up” to fight the Dakota Access Pipeline and that after “years of getting approvals,” not allowing the pipelines to move forward was “unfair” to the private companies behind them. This is laughably “unfair” to the Standing Rock Sioux tribe and their allies, who spent months and months camped out in the wilderness to protest the pipeline’s construction through their water source and sacred lands, and who received a ferocious, often violent response from law enforcement for doing so.In his remarks, Trump also peddled the statistic that Keystone would create “potentially” 32,000 jobs “almost immediately.” Although the CEO of TransCanada, the company behind the pipeline, has said it would create 42,000 “ongoing, enduring” jobs, a State Department estimate sussed out that those jobs would only last for about a year. All told, Keystone will likely create fewer than 50 long-term jobs.
But hey, there’s nothing “controversial” to see here.