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The Ultimate Guide to Trading Halloween Candy

The Ultimate Guide to Trading Halloween Candy

This Buzzfeed Video tells you everything you need to know to get ahead in the candy trading game. Absolutely everything. Trading candy is a skill that can greatly improve the quality of your candy stash. However be warned there are rules and regulations. Watch this video to hone your candy trading skills.

This guide also contains information that adults may not have known. If you haven’t been collecting your Mom & Dad Tax – hop on it this year! It’s up to you to decide whether to levy back taxes or not.

For you gentle souls who give out healthy snacks, prepare yourselves for some hard, home truths. “The road to Hell is paved with good intentions” applies here. According to the guide, treating with apples, raisins, celery or even pennies assures you a place in the fiery pit.  I’m sorry, that’s just how it is. According to our guide, raisins should be burned then peed on by your dog.I don’t make the rules, I only report ’em.

Oh, and take note, those of you who are fond of  giving out  Necco Wafers or Candy Corn…Not to be rude, but it might be better to just shut off the porch light, than to face the ire of candy crazed chocolate seekers. You have been warned.