rackjite.com

Kick! Making Politics Fun
Political Humor

People are Strange
Entertainment

News From Dumbutt Texas
Dumbutt

Religious Truthiness
Religion

Multimedia Sixties
The Sixties

redline

Republican bong

 

Conclusion

 

  What the Guns are For

 

The only hope liberalism has for the future is cloning.

 

Having gotten this far in all this I hope you take the underlying theme, ponder it, and come up with something better than I (which is only yelling as loud as possible) to do about it . What you should have noticed here is how far I go to compensate for how far they go. It is a serious matter that has caused countless mass emigrations, coups, assassinations, revolutions and civil wars; and here it is in our own backyard going on as you read this. In other places different political definitions are used, but it’s the same principle.

 

When we think in terms of Republican versus Democrat we perceive each other as adversaries, when we think in terms of conservative versus liberal the sense is we are antagonists, but with whatever this is we got going on now, we have become enemies.

 

Overstated? What are the two issues conservatives have in common whether they be the religious Right, the secular Right, the racist Right, or the libertarian Right?

An absolutist interpretation of the Second Amendment. The issue, in the full frontal nudity they are not a least bit embarrassed about expressing, has nothing to do with sport (were the Weavers up to their armpits in weapons to hunt quail) and little to do with crime (were the Branch Davidians up to their ears in assault rifles to protect their Bibles), but with the armed might to overthrow the United States Government. Pick up any NRA literature, any Klan or Aryan Nation pamphlets or just say hello to a Libertarian and it’s most of what you will hear.

 

And a seething neurotic hatred of the government. And pray tell who do they perceive the government as being? A non-Christian entity with a greater proportion of Blacks in the bureaucracy than in the private sector. And the liberals: homosexuals, unions, environmentalists, smart people and women and children on welfare.

 

Don’t kid yourself about what the guns are for.

 

What To Do

 

  “The only things in the middle of the road are yellow stripes and dead armadillos.” Jim Hightower

 

They now have the White House, the House of Representatives, the Senate, the Supreme Court, most of  the press and through school vouchers, are out to get religious control of public education. Union membership is down 350%. The only politicians who have the balls to speak out are in the forty or so safe seats of the Congressional Black Caucus, who are universally ridiculed and despised by the vast majority of the American public. The GOP has even managed to equate the NAACP and Civil Rights with the new mainstream phrase “Jackson/Sharpton” connoting adultery, fraud and rioting.

 

We still have the arts and academia you say. Even that area they have managed to link mostly to heresy, pornography and once again, communism. Pop art is controlled by a handful of enormous corporate conglomerates whose bottom line is marketing associated products. It is now accepted that colleges and universities are bastions of leftist totalitarianism because of the most effective Right-wing propaganda game in American history, political correctness.

 

Beyond television sitcoms, dramas and movies there is little left other than a few magazines and websites, but there is you. Email, write letters and call Democratic politicians, newspapers, radio and television stations and corporations to let them know how you feel. Do it personally and not through form letters or petitions. Vocalize your political views passionately and affably at work, with relatives, friends and acquaintances. But above all, understand that political power lays in the House of Representatives where the agenda is set and the money distributed. Put your political effort into electing Democrats to the House. If your representative is a shoe-in either way, pick another district to help out in.

 

  Converting to Conservatism

 

Millions of liberals and moderates have become conservatives over the past generation. An ever increasing process which I have come to believe is both irreversible and inevitable until some great cataclysm sets things right.

 

So the question arises. What do we gain by pounding our different drum? Beyond a modicum of emotional and intellectual satisfaction, not much. The media is owned by large corporations; the Presidency, the House, the Senate and the Supreme Court are controlled by conservatives. Most states are run by conservative governors and legislatures, and what little liberal control there is in urban mayoral offices, city councils and school boards are moving to the dark side. The suburbs, where most of our population now resides, are where the votes are, and are overwhelmingly conservative. Blue collar Americans have moved into the bowels of the GOP for the racism and religious dogmatism inherent to their nature.

 

Being a liberal has become much like being a Cubs fan. Perhaps it is time to quit Wrigley Field and start going to Comiskey Park. Here are some good reasons to move over to the Dark Side:

It could be very helpful to one’s mental stability, for quite often frustration levels run so high we find ourselves making up words like; conservanazi, gunloon, limbiciles, looneytarian, netscab and conservatively incorrect which are never picked up by the media as are; feminazis, tree huggers, environmental wackos and politically incorrect. It can make one feel they are living on an alien planet.

 

It most certainly will improve one’s social acceptability regarding family, friends, acquaintances and the workplace. Remember in these times, a Nuke the Whales T-shirt is far more witty and acceptable than one that says Save the Whales.

 

What with John Ashcroft watching you from one side and Homeland Security checking you out from the other, there really is some worry about saying or typing some unpatriotic thing or another and having the whip come down.

 

And of course there is that very small but serious danger of being shot for being too outspoken a liberal, the Berg Effect.

It is no exaggeration that the single most dominate political factor of our time is the present day raw bitter hatred of liberals and the federal government. Having an advantage over many of you by having seen conservatives so eagerly bare their black little hearts all over the net for twenty years, I probably sense more danger than you, for if I were asked to describe the largest block of people tapping keyboards out there, I would say it’s the gun-gun-shoot-shoot crowd. Their technique of using lies, libel, harassment, invasion of privacy and threats to intimidate liberals out of the public forum is a standard daily occurrence. Just the law of inertia causes it to slosh out into the real world on occasion. To make the transition from liberal to conservative you must first come to terms with the two Immutable Laws of Conservatism:

An all encompassing genetic inability to see anything from any point of view other than their own.

 

Not giving a rat’s ass about anything or anyone anywhere other than oneself or one’s immediate family.

As most of us liberals lack these two genetic deficiencies, we not only have to play loose with the logic, we also need large amounts of whisky, tequila, Prozac and perhaps even a partial lobotomy to deal with it. I can help you reason out each issue, but your ability to adjust to this new way of thinking is dependent upon how well you can stifle your point of view ability and muddle your mind with drugs and alcohol.

 

Abortion - As a male, I will never need an abortion. I am well off enough that if any woman in my circle does need an abortion they can be shipped off somewhere or other as has been the case for thousands of years prior to 1973. So, denying women abortions only adversely affects the poor and I am not poor. Though some may fall to suicide and butchery, that is not my problem.

 

Affirmative Action - I have seen the conservative and libertarian argument on it tens of thousands of times. Racism is defined as favoring one race over another, thus Affirmative Action is racism, making anyone advocating it, a racist. Simple as that, just a matter of hiding one’s bigotry behind stone cold logic while at the same time ignoring who suffers it and who dispenses it.

 

Capital Punishment - Live by the sword, die by the sword. An eye for eye. The families of victims need vengeance for their spiritual well being. There is no recidivism. It’s a position I will never find myself in, so why should I care?

 

Crime - Let’s be honest about this. Drive-by murders, pimping, street drugs, riots, armed robbery, burglary are disproportionately committed by young black and Hispanic men (well those who are caught and convicted anyway). The courts and prisons are full up with them for good cause. Remove Black and Hispanic crime from our national statistics and we have one of the safest nations on earth. In fact why spend money on prisons at all. Ship them back to Africa or pay Mexico to take them and watch our national statistics climb to the top of the heap on every front.

 

Economy - This nation was built on greed. I want all I can get as fast as I can get it. And there is nothing wrong with that.

 

Education - There are only two factors of import here, my education and my children’s education. Somebody else’s education is not my problem, responsibility or concern. Why would it be? It takes an individual.

 

Environment - Not my problem. It’s long term and I won’t be around long enough to suffer any impact. I am only concerned with the next quarter.

 

Gays - This one’s easy. You need the tequila to get past the Special Rights crap, but if you just spend all your time concentrating on what they actually do when naked, you are home free. Also bringing Roy Cohn to mind helps.

 

Guns - This one is the hardest for me. My best advice is to drink a quart of tequila and shoot up a couple grams of crank and you too can conclude that the more guns there are in bedrooms, pockets and cars - the bigger they are, the faster the fire, and the more bullets they can hold - the safer we will all be.

 

Racism - Blacks care less about whites than whites care about blacks. Same can be said of Jews, Hispanics, Asians, Indians, and what have you. Why on earth would anyone want to stick their neck out, or possibly give up something for the well being of those who don’t like you? Got me by the short and curlies.

 

Religion - That ignorance is bliss business is nothing to sneeze at. Those seeped in religious dogma do seem to be more content, have better disciplined children, and make fewer waves than most people. As such, why not force it on every child? A few tabs of otherworldly LSD should help with this one.

 

Taxes - Do enough Prozac to accept the fallacy that our overall tax rate is 50% rather than 30%. Then from that false premise you can arrive at the false conclusion that we are the most over taxed industrialist nation in the world rather than the most under taxed. From there its an easy road to whine and bitch about taxes being theft and that we live in a Marxist, socialist society.

 

Welfare - Why should I have to support the failure of others? Again, disproportionately it is minorities bleeding the entitlement programs. Send these dead enders to the dead end, a one way bus ticket to Terra Del Fuego would cut my taxes in half.

 

A Little Good News

 

The last few elections bring to mind the age old dichotomy of altruism vs. self-interest. Grand philosophies and great religions have taught throughout the ages that compassion and caring about one another not only improves society, but oneself as well. It is the very basis of Christianity and how strange it is to see conservatives thumping their Bibles while being so shamefully errant in the matter. As often happens (The Dark Ages, Nazi Germany, Jim Crow and now the United States for example) we regress for periods of time, but history shows we always seem to gain a bit of ground in the long run. Don’t give an inch. You are right and they are wrong.

 

This business we hear so often during elections cycles of the vital center is a long range win for them. For the debate is no longer between Left and Right or Liberal and Conservative, but between the middle and the Right, moving us ever more Rightward. But there is one overriding note of optimism. All over the world, in most every country and town (other than America) when people are asked what they pray for the most, the resounding answer is not lower taxes or a new SUV, but peace.

 

Dear John,

 

I want to let you know our relationship is over. Though I am not moving to New Zealand, or dropping out like Mr. Leary and Mr. Weyrich before me, I am disengaging. Perhaps there is some good in you somewhere, but I can’t seem to get past your ever darkening heart to unearth it. We find ourselves with less common ground as the years go by, I cannot make the jump to the dark side no matter how popular or emotionally satisfying it may be.

 

We no longer enjoy any serious communication. Any issue we discuss requiring even the least amount of intellectual consideration always ends with you either waving your flag, intoning the Lord, wanting to bomb someone, delighting in executions, advocating physical punishment and blaming everything on some poor woman of color with a bad kid on the other side of town or the other side of the world. The water you play in is just too shallow, two warm and too yellow for me. This has been building for quite some time now, a generation of disappointment creating a sadness within that only grows deeper whenever we talk. I can’t even say I wish you well.

 

Goodbye,

Rack Jite

 

Bedddieboard.com


Custom Search


 

AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Use Bookmark to Stumble



Talking Points Menu

Need ideas for an upcoming political argument? Here are 25 pages chock full of it!

Political Philosophy
Politically Incorrect
Conservanazis
Gun Control NRA
Patriotism
Elections
Corpo Bias Media
Racism Bigotry
Gay Rights
Libertarians!


Abortions Executions
Religious Right
Law and Order
Economics Taxes
Health & Education
The Environment
Right-wing Conspiracy
BJ Impeachment
George W. Bush
Conclusion

redline


Kick! Featured Pages


Shithead Awards
dogshit

Political Humor

Puerile Name
calling Generator

%$#$!

Political Humor
Political Tests
pencil

Political Humor
Political Slideshow bugs bunny
Political Humor

All about
Rush Limbaugh

limbaugh

conservative wingnut
All about
Newt Gingrich

newt

conservative wingnut


Political Satire
alice in wonderland

Political Humor


TRUE
STORIES!


Political Humor


Cube of Shalube
cube of shalube

Liberal children's poetry



Rack Jite Quotes
rack jite

Liberal Democrat
Liberal Celebrities
kurt vonnegut

Political Gravitas


Bill O'Reilly
o'reilly

conservative wingnut
Clone This!
clone sheep dolly

Political Humor
Hate Mail
hate mail

conservative wingnuts

Dog Poop
dogshit
Dog Politics


redline

1960 History
1960 Music
1960 Television
1960 Movies
1960 Books
1960 Gadgets
1960 Sports
1960 Cars

1961 History
1961 Music
1961 Television
1961 Movies
1961 Books
1961 Gadgets
1961 Sports
1961 Cars

1962 History
1962 Music
1962 Television
1962 Movies
1962 Books
1962 Gadgets
1962 Sports
1962 Cars

1963 History
1963 Music
1963 Television
1963 Movies
1963 Books
1963 Gadgets
1963 Sports
1963 Cars

1964 History
1964 Music
1964 Television
1964 Movies
1964 gadgets
1964 Books
1964 Sports
1964 Cars

1965 History
1965 Music
1965 Television
1965 Movies
1965 gadgets
1965 Books
1965 Sports
1965 Cars

1966 History
1966 Music
1966 Television
1966 Movies
1966 gadgets
1966 Books
1966 Sports
1966 Cars

1967 History
1967 Music
1967 Television
1967 Movies
1967 gadgets
1967 Books
1967 Sports
1967 Cars

1968 History
1968 Music
1968 Movies
1968 Television
1968 gadgets
1968 Books
1968 Sports
1968 Cars

1969 History
1969 Music
1969 Movies
1969 Television
1969 gadgets
1969 Books
1969 Sports
1969 Cars

1970 History
1970 Music
1970 Television
1970 Movies
1970 Books
1970 Gadgets
1970 Sports
1970 Cars

1972 History
1972 Music
1972 Television
1972 Movies
1972 Books
1972 Gadgets
1972 Sports
1972 Cars

1974 history
1974 books
1974 cars
1974 gadgets
1974 movies
1974 music
1974 sports
1974tv

1976 history
1976 books
1976 cars
1976 gadgets
1976 movies
1976 music
1976 sports
1976 tv

1978 history
1978 books
1978 cars
1978 gadgets
1978 movies
1978 music
1978 sports
1978 tv

1971 History
1971 Music
1971 Television
1971 Movies
1971 Books
1971 Sports
1971 Cars
1971 Gadgets

1973 History
1973 Music
1973 Television
1973 Movies
1973 Books
1973 Gadgets
1973 Sports
1973 Cars

1975 history

1975 books
1975 cars
1975 gadgets
1975 movies
1975 music
1975 sports
1975 tv

1977 history
1977 books
1977 cars
1977 gadgets
1977 movies
1977 music
1977 sports
1977 tv

1979 history
1979 books
1979 cars
1979 gadgets
1979 movies
1979 music
1979 sports
1979 tv

rackjite.com
Kick! Making Politics Fun

 

beddieboard.com



 


a liberal dose of liberal political humor, satire, opinion and puerile namecalling

Kick!  Making Politics Fun

Hard Response (c) Copyright 1993-2009