The Cube of Shalube by Dr. Jite (A Children's Poem)

In the far away land of South Floobalube

Lived the lovers of one thing, known as the Floobs.

Floobs knew what was right, they knew what was wrong

'Cause they studied their cubes all day and night long.

Floobs quiggled and jiggled and learned it by heart,

Preached it and screeched it from every K-mart.

Whenever they wished Floobs reached in their tube

And wiggled and waggled their cube of Shalube. 

Each Floob got their cube on the day they were born

Which they kept in a tube on their rear dorsal horn.

Floobs all wore nice clothes and drove red Corvettes,

Every Floob-boy but not ever Floobettes!

Floobs turned a deaf ear to every suggestion

For they had every answer to every Floob-question.

Floobs thought very little so were only upset

When someone talked back or their panties got wet.

They worked in Floob factories making tube-guns

They made them for money,

Floob-dads and Floob-mums

Tube-guns made them strong and kept them all free

Free to tell others what they ought to be.

The Cube of Shalube was in every Floob-tube

So nothing else mattered in South Floobalube.

But a little ways North, up in old Snubelube

Lived the lovers of all things known as the Snubes. 

The Snubes were like Floobs having rear tubes

But sadly for them they held no Floob-cubes.

Some had pink triangles some had blue pyramids

Some had teal boxes and some dodechehedrons.

Some had green ovals, some a red ball

Some had clear cones and some nothing at all!

Snubes liked every person, shapes different or new

They even liked Floobs which wasn't easy to do.

The Snubes liked to dance and sing Rock and Roll

Doing funky Snube-steps at the Super Snube Bowl

They giggled and twiggled and laughed quite a bit

Giving Floob-lubers who saw them a fit!

Snubes helped one another when good times went bad

No matter what tube-shape with whatever they had.

Then the day between Tuesday at six eighty-nine

Every Floob-luber stood on the Snublelube-line. 

 "You all must have cubes in every Snube-tube

No other shapes but our Cube of Shalube!

We've turned it and learned it, we hold it each day

Don't do as we do just do as we say!

You Snubes are all bad there isn't much doubt

All of us Floobs know what we're talking about!

If you don't take these cubes from all us good Floobs

You will suffer and die each one of you Snubes!"

Floobs shouted Snube-rants and made rude-Floob-chants

While all the Snubes sang or pulled down their pants.

"We came from down South to help you Snubes out

And what do we get but Snubes jumping about!

We are doing what is right and you're doing it wrong

We don't like your shapes and we don't like your songs!

So take these cubes now, it's your last chance

And for crying out loud PULL UP YOUR PANTS!"

Each happy Snubeluber liked their own shape

Things were just fine, in fact things were great.

"Our tubes feel just fine without any cubes

What is the matter with all of you Floobs?

We Snubes are too busy to argue and fight

We've been working all day doing what is right.

So why don't you Floobs just leave us alone

And take all the cubes in your tubes and go home." 

The Floobs all turned purple and ranted and raved "

You don't understand, YOU HAVE TO BE SAVED!"

So with hands in their tubes, clutching their cubes

They stood on their heads and prayed to Shalube.

Before any answer each Floob pulled a gun

And shot all the Snubes, every last one.

Then they took every shape from every Snube-tube

And stomped them and whomped them along with each Snube.  

In South Floobalube no Floob was ashamed

For now every thought was one in the same.

Then on a day just like this from far in the sky

Great Shalube appeared with ire in his eye.

"You miffed it, you muffed it, turn in your cubes

Now suffer and die each one of you Floobs!"

He bit off their tubes and ate their Floob-cubes

And flew up to Heaven with the all the Ghost-Snubes.

Though no one was left to see the Snubes dance.

Shalube still told them to PULL UP THEIR PANTS!

children's poetry