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Jesus Land

 

Religion - The Corruption of Christ 

 

Now, as I before hinted, I have no objection to any person’s religion, be it what it may, so long as that person does not kill or insult any other person, because that other person don’t believe it also. But when a man’s religion becomes really frantic; when it is a positive torment to him; and, in fine, makes this earth of ours an uncomfortable inn to lodge in, then I think it high time to take that individual aside and argue the point with him.” Ishmael - From Moby-Dick by Herman Melville.

 

     Weak and Stupid?

 

“If its real to you, it’s money to us!” The UFO Abduction counselor. And the Minister, the Preacher, the Rabbi, the Mullah and the Priest.

 

I feel the need to premise this chapter with a few comments. The lead-in quote from Ishmael states where I stand on this issue better than any statement I can come up with. Keep religious fervor low key and away from me and mine and it’s just fine. I believe we have souls, and if they are not filled with something or other, we probably won’t have a very good time of it. The problem is what exactly we fill it with. Many of us find it quite easy to fill it up with love of family and friends, hobbies, sports, politics, music, art or how our new haircuts. But many others do not enjoy such easy options and require a giant glowing globe of supernatural firmament to fill it with. This can be seen as a strength or a weakness, but when it becomes fanatical and forced upon others, it becomes the most dangerous force in the world.

 

Governor Jesse Ventura of Minnesota found himself in serious trouble when he said religion was for the weak and stupid. Whether he was right or wrong, it is something not said in public. Not in Minnesota nor anywhere else in this country. In fact, the trouble he gained by that statement was the impetus for him to not run again.

 

Don’t kid yourself, most of the terror in the world is more about religious faith than anything else. Which cannot be disparaged in any way by the media or politicians. In fact, publicly (or even privately)  an individual would be advised to stay silent on the matter for the repercussions. Faith in what? A belief in supernatural happenings and deities? Or perhaps faith in each other? No matter, I never swallowed the former and over the past few years I’ve lost the latter.

 

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   A Nation Built on Corn Whiskey

 

“My agenda is in line with the people of the state of Louisiana and the majority of Republicans in America.” The truth finally spoken by Tammany Parish GOP Chairman David Duke

 

Conservatives like to say that the success of America - premised on their false interpretation of Tocqueville’s Democracy in America - was because of Christian values disseminated through local Protestant churches. The fact of the matter is quite different, our success was due to stealing the most bountiful temperate untouched agricultural and mineral rich area in the world from the indigenous people living there, stealing a third more of it from the Mexicans, building a good share of it on slave labor and planning it all from whiskey filled taverns.

 

   Is Fundamentalism Insanity? 

 

Michael Griffin was to make an insanity plea in the murder of Dr. David Gunn. His defense said Griffin shooting Gunn in the back three times “was the action of a good, decent human being who had been fed poison by Pro Life groups and literature.” Subsequently a plea bargain was made trading off the insanity plea for no death penalty (after all, Good Ole Boy Mike was White). What little fun there is in this issue concerns the initial question raised: Are people who are bonked out on religion insane?

 

A person comes to your door with a book saying that you, your family and everyone on Earth who does not believe everything in that book to be the absolute literal truth, will suffer untold pain and agony for eternity. You ask what is in the book. They tell you it is the rules set down by the Great Banana. You ask how they know it’s true. They tell you a giant banana floated over their home and into their bedroom to tell them so, that they have regular conversations with talking bananas, and that if you believe in the Great Banana, he will give you whatever you ask for. You ask a few more questions and they go on to tell you of other important entities from the netherworld who float on small glowing hula hoops in the clouds while they play Jimi Hendrix rifts on electric guitars.

 

With more questioning they reveal there are different levels of reality existing between cloud formations where cities made of Cheese Fries house all the dead Great Banana believers while those evil beings who do not believe, suffer eternal stink and stagnation in giant tubs of Limburger which exist inside thunderheads. You look at the person, sense they are crazy as a loon and tell them so. With incredulous disbelief they look back and tell you that as everyone has believed it for a very long time, then it is the truth, and must be accepted by any sane person.

 

Coming to your senses and realizing this is indeed the case, and as it was presented with such flawless logic, you look inward to find that it is you who has lost touch with reality and is crazy as a loon. You drop to your knees in forgiveness, give all your money to the believers in the Great Banana and live your life without ever having to think, or wonder, or dream of anything ever again.

 

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   The Dumb Index

 

“If you talk to God, you are praying. If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.” Thomas Szasz

 

The following figures from an article in NEWSWEEK represent the number of college graduates within each religious group in America. Can this be used to relate the intelligence of the membership of each religion? Damn right it can and I bet you already had a pretty good idea who would place last:

 

1)      Unitarian 49.5

2)      Hindu 47.0

3)      Jewish 46.7

4)      New Age 40.6

5)      Episcopal 39.2

6)      Agnostic 36.3

7)      Presbyterian 33.8

8)      Congregationalist 33.7

9)      Buddhist 33.4

10)    Eastern Orthodox 31.6

11)    Muslim 30.4

12)    National Average 24%

13)    Evangelical 21.5

14)    Methodist 21.1

15)    Catholic 20.0

16)    Mormon 19.2

17)    Churches of Christ 14.6

18)    Assemblies of God 13.7

19)    Nazarene 12.5

20)    Baptist 10.4

21)    Pentecostal 6.9

22)    Holiness 5.0

23)    Jehovah’s Witness 4.7

 

The message there is hard to miss; intolerance, bigotry and fundamentalism are directly related to how much education one has.

 

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   God's Existence Proven! 

 

My Houston Chronicle published a syndicated column recently by Michael Behe called: Intelligent design: Creation explained or Quackery?  A professor at the prestigious Lehigh University! And a senior fellow with the Discovery Institute's Center for Science and Culture, a 40 member lobbyist group to promote teaching Intelligent Design in public schools. I have to congratulate my local paper for searching out the cream of the crop for this story. The article was what one would expect, creationism hiding under a new name, but what made it interesting was that the purpose of it was to prove that God exists through the logic of four central concepts. Here is the nub of the matter, word for word from Professor Behe:

The argument for it consists of four linked claims.

 

1) The first claim is uncontroversial: We can often recognize the effects of design in nature. For example, unintelligent physical forces like plate tectonics and erosion seem quite sufficient to account for the origin of the Rocky Mountains. Yet they are not enough to explain Mount Rushmore. Of course, we know who is responsible for Mount Rushmore, but even someone who had never heard of the monument could recognize it as designed.

 

2) Which leads to the second claim of the intelligent design argument: The physical marks of design are visible in aspects of biology. This is uncontroversial, too.The 18th-century clergyman William Paley likened living things to a watch, arguing that the workings of both point to intelligent design.

 

3) The next claim in the argument for design is that we have no good explanation for the foundation of life that doesn't involve intelligence. Here is where thoughtful people part company. Darwinists assert that their theory can explain the appearance of design in life as the result of random mutation and natural selection acting over immense stretches of time. Some scientists, however, think the Darwinists' confidence is unjustified.

 

4) The fourth claim in the design argument is also controversial: In the absence of any convincing non-design explanation, we are justified in thinking that real intelligent design was involved in life. To evaluate this claim, it's important to keep in mind that it is the profound appearance of design in life that everyone is laboring to explain, not the appearance of natural selection or the appearance of self-organization.

So, there you have it, proof of Intelligent Design and that God exists because Mount Rushmore did not evolve naturally, there are no other reasonable explanations, and 18th Century minister William Paley says so. Golly, what more would one need? So I guess Prof Behe has ended the debate over not only evolution but the existence of God once and for all. Hear here.

 

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   God is Great!

 

Does anyone really think that Dick Cheney, Ken Lay, Rush Limbaugh or Michael Eisner gives one hoot in hell about evangelical Christianity? The corporate world has played its cards well.

 

Even I, on this obscure little website, must premise today's articles with already understood explanations or the hate mail from all sides becomes overwhelming. For this is an issue that will not be discussed by either the politicians or the media. 

 

In a recent TIME magazine article it was proposed that our propensity to religious belief is genetic. Not only was a gene found, but past studies of estranged twins has showed the same. Add to that our history of being originally populated by religious extremists whose seed spread far and wide and South. Today's evangelicalism (forcing religion upon others and into government) and fundamentalism (dogmatic literal interpretations of the Bible) have joined to create a first world nation with a third world mentality. With the neo-Catholics and the ever growing split within mainstream sects, these extremists now number about 100 million. A third of our population and our largest single voting block. Locked to the GOP.

 

An unnecessary war which has cost us billions of dollars, killed tens of thousands of civilians, and 3000 of our own children, now surpassing 911.  Gas prices have doubled, wages, salaries, job security, and savings down. Debt and deficit way up. Stock market stagnant or falling. No jobs created and a million lost. Healthcare costs rising 15% a year. Infrastructure crumbling. A plain and vicious ideology of sacrificing the well being of the working class to the wealthy. And none of it matters because George Bush has Jesus living inside of him telling him what to do. 

 

And what does Jesus tell him? There is no one I know of who not only promotes but enjoys (mocking Karla Fae Tucker) executing people more than George Bush. There has been no President so quick on the trigger to rain down death and war where their was no war, or even a good reason for war. There has been no president who reduced taxes on the wealthy in a time of war. There has been no president who has put his allegiance in religious dogma before his allegiance to the United States Constitution. Can we blame him? For it encompasses the central driving force of American Christianity today. Jesus has become a right-wing lunatic.  

    

So as I comment further try to read the words evangelical, fundamentalist and extremist into what I may say about Christianity in America, and that I have come to understand there is nothing wrong with religion, but there is something very very wrong with the kind of religion that has come to dominate our country today. The Bastardization of Christ 

 

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     Angels My Ass

 

“To talk of immaterial existence’s is to talk of nothings. To say that the human soul, angels, God, are immaterial, is to say they are nothings, or that there is no God, no angels, no soul. I cannot reason otherwise.” Thomas Jefferson.

 

I think I have the underlying cause of America’s growing stupidity whether it be in the educational or the political process. A recent Gallup poll showed that 72% of Americans believe Angels are real and interact in our daily lives. Asexual, flying, feather-winged, translucent beings from outside our atmosphere, which CNN News spent hours on documenting their proficiency at saving lives by deflecting bullets and stopping car crashes. I mean gosh, is it just coincidence that as we suffer this spiritual revival in America, our kids get dumber, we move further to the Right, the majority of us are less secure in our jobs and homes, and rabid little Right-wing nitwits are running the country?

 

You know, I read a lot of the liberal syndicated columnists, and neither they, nor anyone in the media at all, can ever take on, or question, the neurosis of religious blind faith. It is simply not allowed in this country. The media can decry religious organizations and individuals so long as there is a criminal or political point in it, but belief in supernatural deities sitting upon golden thrones in the sky sending their underlings flying around our homes deflecting bullets from robbers cannot be questioned.  Not by politicians, or by any facet of the media whether it be mainstream radio, television, newspapers or magazines.

 

I honestly do not think it can be even argued that this illogical, unreasonable and neurotic belief in interactive cultural deities has been the single most historic and present factor pushing humanity inward rather than outward, the single largest cause of intolerance, bigotry, prejudice and racism, and most certainly, the strongest deterrent to change, progress, free thought and fee expression in our history. And neither the politicians, the government nor the media can even question it. I will though.

 

Of course I paid for that indiscretion. I put the above article up on the Internet using the organization name Conservatively Incorrect. The next day Conservatively Incorrect was listed between the Aryan Nations and the Skinheads on a Rice University web page indexing hate groups on the Web.

 

Andy Rooney did a column recently pertinent to this concerning Tom Paine. In his famous pamphlet Common Sense, Paine became the literary father of the American Revolution. He latter went to Paris to witness the French Revolution and wrote another pamphlet called The Age of Reason. In it he pointed out the fallacies of Christianity, denying the validity of the Bible and questioning whether Christ was the savior. When he got back to America he was considered pond scum, and in 1806 Thomas Paine died friendless, broke and alone. Never has one been able in this country to question matters of faith.

 

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    Spirituality

 

Faith does not enhance reason, it replaces it.

 

Since moving to Texas over twenty years ago, I have often visited the homes of acquaintances to find a Bible open on a mantle or small podium. Most always, it’s open to the same page which reads, “Only through me shall ye gain the Kingdom of Heaven.” I wonder if he was the same guy who also said “I write the songs that make the whole world sing?” Talk about ego gone over the top. What that passage comes down to is the basis of Protestant Christianity; “MY” personal relationship with Jesus Christ ensures “I” will live forever. That is the bottom line of our collective spirituality; I and MY.

 

The intellectual approach to religion is that we pick one of them (well usually forced into one) and use it as a beneficial spiritual tool helping us search for external purpose to arrive at internal peace. In fact when I read the New Testament I come away with a confirmation of my liberal beliefs; love, peace, compassion, mercy, tolerance and sharing the load. So much the antithesis of what the Religious Right hears; revenge, sex, hell, damnation, sex, bigotry, intolerance, sex, vengeance, sex and most central to our parochial religion, what it gets me

 

There seems to be only three issues of any concern to the overriding Christian ideology in this country any longer; other people’s sex lives, forcing their religious beliefs on everyone else, and what it gains them personally. That’s about it, what we as a nation claim good, moral, Godly, Christian, the Truth and the Word. Makes me want to throw up.

 

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   The Wall

 

“The establishment of religion clause of the First Amendment means at least this: Neither a state nor a federal government can set up a church. Neither can they pass laws which aid one religion, aid all religions, or prefer one religion over another. Neither can it force nor influence a person to go to or remain away form churches against his will or force him to profess a belief or disbelief in any religion. No person can be punished for entertaining or professing religious beliefs or disbeliefs, for church attendance, or non attendance. No tax in any amount, large or small, can be levied to support any religious activities or institutions, whatever they may be called or whatever form they may adopt to teach or practice religion.” Majority Supreme Court opinion written by Hugo Black in Everson v Board of Education in 1947.

 

What is it that is so unnerving to so many Americans about the mix of religion and politics? The majority of us do think it unnerving as expressed by any poll in any generation. Is it that we who get upset about inroads of religion into government are all Atheists? Do we hate God? Do we hate Christians? Are we all libertine debauchers? Hardly, it is because most Americans are Agnostics whether they admit it or not.

 

Fundamentalists know there is a God, Atheists know there is no God, while Agnostics know neither of them have a clue. It has been the mystery of ages with the most intelligent and articulate of our species wrestling it for millennia, and the outcome is still, not a clue. And as the greatest minds in history have come up with nothing, why should we accept anything that dogmatic uneducated pastel suited preachers and their flocks of Dodo birds have to say about it? I have not a clue.

 

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion…”

 

The reason for the establishment clause in the First Amendment - those first ten words of the Bill of Rights are not the first ten words by chance - is because the historic abuse of religion mixing with government was in the present experience of those writing it. Today we have to look further to see what happens when God becomes accepted as a governmental power, mostly to the Islamic states, predominately Iran and Afghanistan. We do not have it in our personal experience, but only as a sound bite that comes by occasionally in the media. As such, it may be our national voice fearing the slippery slope toward totalitarian theocracy which leads us to understand the importance of the separation clause, but individually and intellectually it comes back to that Agnosticism, i.e., perhaps we should be putting our apples in the basket that is real rather than the one we only wish to be there. The specific issues that confront us in this regard usually concern Christmas crèches, prayer and teaching creation science in public schools.

 

Crèches: Nativity scenes are all fine and well during the holidays, but government sponsorship by putting them on public property is indeed at odds with the establishment clause of the 1st Amendment. The issue comes by each year because some Christians have decided to stir the pot of religious intolerance by forcing their religion through government sponsorship. Not only are there more than enough crèches sponsored by private individuals and businesses, but if it’s so important to them, they could just wear them on their heads and go wherever they wished.

 

Creationism: The creation science debate is perhaps the biggest pile of crap since Moby Dick went on his last walkee. The stack of logic and reason against that bilge is worthy of a book in itself, so let me just outline it briefly. Primarily it concerns the difference between the Scientific Method and the Nitwit Method. The evolution side works from the premise that one begins by gathering all the facts and data on the subject, and then arriving at a conclusion. On the other hand, creation science begins with the conclusion and then looks only for facts and data to prove their already arrived  at conclusion.

 

Next comes the weight of the argument. To give any credence to creation science one must first accept that cosmology is wrong, astronomy is wrong, geology is wrong, anthropology is wrong, archeology is wrong, paleontology is wrong, biology is wrong, thousands of tons of bone, rock and fossils are wrong, all public museums, libraries and universities are wrong and two million scientists along with 76 Nobel laureates who signed a document stating creation science is a crock of poo are also wrong. And on the other side? One page of one old book (about three grams) written by superstitious fundamentalist monks who thought the world was flat, that the stars were floating lanterns in the sky and who were frying up eye of newt and lizard gizzards to get it up on Saturday night. Oh yes, and they do have about 600 scientists who just happen to be Christian fundamentalists with swarthy credentials paid by fundamentalist religious organizations.

 

Denying science does not a science make. Duane Gish and John Morris have been the center pieces of this chicanery at the Institute of Creation Science for decades. What these professional liars did was take the original creationist doctrine from the 19th Century, remove all references of God and religion and rename it from creationism to creation science. From that point on it has been nothing more than denying reason, logic and common sense to become not science, but anti-science. Lately  a new set of charlatans with the same agenda have renamed it once again, it is now called Intelligent Design. This update is based on the same types of anti-science, but also strives to so thoroughly confuse the matter for its adherents by delving into bogus molecular and chemical biology that it becomes a semantic nightmare. 

 

It all comes down to what they claim is their tolerant stand on the issue, that as evolution is a theory, then to be fair, the theory of creation science should be given equal time in public school biology classes, or evolution be stricken from the curriculum. Of course one can theorize about the Law of Gravity, but in the meantime, apples do not fall up.

 

And lastly, the entire issue revolves around people who have so little faith they have to make idiots of themselves to prove what everyone else knows cannot be proved. As it took the Catholic Church 200 years to validate Galileo’s heretic theory about what revolved around which, I figure we only have to deal with these idiots for another 50 years or so.

 

School Prayer: The argument is that if organized prayer does not accept one certain God, but a general God, then it must be within the bounds of the First Amendment to use government entities to help establish that God. Constitutionally this is just not so. It does not say “establishment of a religion”, or “establishment of Christianity” but “establishment of religion”. I put it to you that both the framers then and the majority of Americans today see this not only in regards to protecting ourselves from a system of fascist theocracy, but also that we do not want either our government or our children putting responsibility for human cause and affect in the hands of doubtful deities; but rather, that responsibility should be put where it belongs, on ourselves and each other.

 

There is a trade off, faith alleviates a lot of pain in many, it soothes our fear of mortality and most of us use it to help our children deal with the sorrow of the death of a loved one. It brings many out of alcoholism, drug addiction, crime and loneliness, but most always, on the back of a belief system based upon dogmatic authoritarianism, intolerance, prejudice, and neurotic fantasy. Because of these adverse connections to religion, we as a nation have wisely put religion in the realm of church and private choice rather than in the arena of government advocacy.

 

Over the past decade the rallying cry of the Religious Right and conservatives has been the responsibility doctrine, that all our social problems stem from individuals not taking responsibility for their actions. In the next breath these same people expound their belief (demanding the rest of us accept) in an all knowing, all powerful interactive God who by definition must then be responsible for everyone and every action taken. This hypocrisy is so beyond all reason and logic it makes one wonder if the paper used in Bibles has not been soaked in LSD.

 

“The number, the industry and the morality of the priesthood, and the devotion of the people have been manifestly increased by the total separation of the church and state.” James Madison

 

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   On Your Knees!

 

“And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men... But you when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.” Jesus of Nazareth--Matthew 6:5-6.

 

Maybe it is time to put prayer in public schools. But first we must agree upon the right prayer to be prayed out loud in unison in every school in America. And as we are over 90% Christians, to Hell with avoiding denominational impact, the little Hell bound Heathens can go stand in the Hall.

 

We pray to you oh Jesus Christ, who gave his life so that we could abide a society of peace and love rather than war and hate. You who blessed the peacemakers, the meek, the poor and the disaffected and preached compassion and mercy in lieu of revenge and intolerance. You, whose very essence was to end the circle of vengeance. Who whipped the money changers out of the church. Who told us to turn the other cheek and always forgive. You who taught us that a rich man has as much chance of getting to Heaven as a camel through the eye of a needle. You, who when rocks were hurled at the hated, stood in harms way to decry the action of the mob asking those without sin to cast the first stone. And most importantly we honor you who understood the separation clause of the 1st Amendment two millennia before it was written when you said: “Give unto God what is God’s and unto Caesar what is Caesar’s.” Amen.

 

Of course if we can’t manage to get a good denominational prayer to Jesus Christ through the legislative amendment process and into the public school curriculum, we may have to rely on a more generic prayer encompassing all religions which hopefully our new class of teacher/ministers can lead our children in.

 

Oh God(s) of many names, who created us all and watches over us knowing all things past, present and future and who listens and answers our prayers. Oh most powerful God(s) of many names we kneel to you in your omnipresence that you know what each of us has done and what each of us will do. We, your children, could not ask for more from you as we realize that by your very existence, we don’t have to learn all this crap in school, we don’t have to find jobs, we don’t have to care about anyone or anything to get what we want, we only have to pray to you who is responsible and accountable for everyone and everything. And even if you are sometimes too busy and do hear our every prayer, we know that our destiny is written in your book so no matter what we do it will all come out as written. Oh God of many names, thank you for making us understand that all that matters in this life is dropping dead. Amen  

 

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   Christianity in Public Schools

 

I am all for teaching about Christianity in public schools:

 

·        In the first grade teach them what the DARK AGES were about.

·        In the second grade teach them what the CRUSADES were about.

·        In the third grade teach them what the INQUISITION was about.

·        In the forth grade teach them what NORTHERN IRELAND is about.

·        In the fifth grade teach them what the MIDDLE EAST is about.

·        In the sixth grade teach them what being a NON CHRISTIAN in Nazi Germany was about.

·        In the seventh grade teach them what SALEM was about.

·        In the eighth grade teach them what JIMMY SWAGGART is about.

·        In the ninth grade teach them what JIM & TAMMY BAKKER were about.

·        In the tenth grade teach them what DAVID KORESH and RANDY WEAVER were about.

·        In the eleventh grade teach them what RAY HILL and JOHN SILVA were about.

·        In the twelfth grade go over it all again so they never forget.

 

An hour a day everyday for a year on each subject. In fact, I would be willing to give them an hour of forced denominational prayer everyday for every hour they spend on the above subjects.

 

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  Devilution

 

Students should have a choice... Equal time for Creationism... Evolution is only a theory while I believe Creationism is a fact.” Tom “Dimbulb” DeLay

 

DeLay puts there intentions out plainly, laws and government policy should force children to believe what Tom DeLay believes. Not only Tom DeLay, but 54% of American women and 40% of American men believe the Earth is less than 10,000 years old and Creationism should be taught in public schools so say we, the United States of Duh. George W. Bush should be President, we deserve someone that stupid as President. There was a time of rational faith in this country (I think), but that’s gone all to Hell these days.

 

The old creationism game was calling evolution heresy, and outlawing it. When that didn’t work they began the game of equal time. When that did poorly they changed the game plan to what was called public choice: Parents pay taxes for the schools so they should have a choice in having their children taught evolution or creationism. Lately it has reverted back to the science area with what is called Intelligent Design. This is pretty much the same as Creation Science, as it too hides the religious purpose behind the so-called science. It is a bit more refined in that the newer breed of Christian Fundamentalists pushing it use very complicated scientific models and language. The problem with this new endeavor is of course that it goes so far over the heads of the flock, it can’t be effectively argued down the devolving ladder.  

 

There are as many different explanations of creation as there are religions. Should all of them be given equal time? How about in biology classes we teach the Mayan rendition of creation, that the world sits on the back of a giant turtle held up by the four Gods of direction. The in-depth biology of the cell structure of planetary sized turtles will be taught (perhaps with the visual help of Gammera movies). But in our so American parochialism, we will probably be stuck with the Jewish version. So we will teach our children how snakes can talk, and not to forget the genetics of humanity being peopled on the incestuous acts of both the Adam and Noah families.

 

The central problem with forcing religious beliefs into the public school system is that it panders to religious bigotry, personal unaccountability, and putting valuable time and effort into what may be rather than what is be.

 

The belief that our secular school system is the crux of our moral problem is just another in the long list of conservative straw men. America is the most God fearing, church going, Jesus believing nation in the industrialized world. It already is as far gone in this crap as is Christianly possible.

 

Teaching religion dogma instead of science in public schools is in magnitudes more debilitating to our educational system than multiculturalism, secular humanism, and teachers unions all put together.  

 

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    Intelligent Design, or, Most People are Mostly Stupid

 

I came by this fat thousand page book of published articles from both sides of the Intelligent Design debate. I know so much about this crap that I have become rationally depressed. I will do my best to make what you need to know about this crap as short as possible, for I would not wish anyone the short term depression I suffered regarding this. First comes the WHO of it.

 

Reverend William Paley is their historical founder, the 18th Century father of Natural Theology. Paley died about the time Charles Darwin was born. He is most famous for comparing life to a clock, a machine that only God could create.

 

Phillip Johnson is the nominal leader of the Intelligent Design movement. He is a law professor at Berkeley and author of Darwin on Trial (Regnery, 1991). Remember that Regnery is THE premiere Right-wing publisher in America, after all who else would publish Ted Nugent's racist lunatic book God, Guns and Rock and Roll? So a lawyer is their central spokesman rather than anyone having anything to do with science. And if you think Bill Clinton's "is" game was silly, I doubt you could get through a single paragraph of Johnson's crap without banging your head against the desk. The gist of his books and articles are all based upon philosophical semantic gobblygook.

 

Michael Behe is the so called genius prince of the movement who they claim gives it credibility. Behe is a Lehigh College biochemist. Author of Darwin's Black Box (Free Press, 1995). The gist of his books and articles are mathematical semantic gooblygook

 

William Dembski is an Associate Research Professor at Baylor University who writes books and articles on Information Theory. He made the news here in Texas when he tired to set up an Intelligent Design department at Baylor University. The school initially allowed it, but a national academic uproar put it on hold. The gist of his books and articles are statistical semantic gooblygook

 

Percival Davis and Dean Kenyon are the authors Of Pandas and People which is the Intelligent Design textbook they have successfully put into public school libraries but as yet, not in the science classrooms.

 

Howard Ahmanson, California Billionaire who finances Right-wing Christian fundamentalist organizations making Richard Mellon Schaife seem like a Kennedy. This is where the majority of the movement's funding comes from.

 

Their organization is called the Discovery Institute with the Center for the Renewal of Science and Culture (CRSC) the action arm. 

 

None of the above mentioned people or anyone in the movement have degrees in life sciences, none of their articles have ever been published in any scientific journal, and they all proudly admit that their Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ comes first in their lives.

 

So with the recent precedent of the Pennsylvania court striking down Intelligent Design in public schools, what's the problem? Well, like in most things it comes back to our central American problem, most people are mostly stupid. The majority of Americans discard evolution and believe in one form of creationism or another, as believe it or not, do most public school science teachers. Not only is evolution discarded or made fun of in Christian schools, voucher schools and charter schools, but also in most public schools as well, Darwin is the monkey.  

 

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   The Fluboobians 

 

Will The Rapture be like The Night of the Living Dead with freshly arisen rotting Christians bumbling about?

 

First of all, the term must be defined. Basically it means Fundamentalist, but as there are Born-again Christians, Charismatics, Pentecostals, Jehovah Witnesses, Mormons, Evangelicals, Catholics and many more of the Religious Right who claim not to be Fundamentalists but are just as loopy, it becomes necessary to find a more inclusive word. Though Fluboobians  can be from any religion or denomination, as there are no Jews, Moslems, Buddhists or Hindus forcing their religious dogma upon the rest of us through our political system, the word by default has come to mean those Christians who have put belief in the supernatural above reality. On a personal level, such people are disgusting because:

They not only want to control what you read, see, and hear, but what you write, say and do.

 

They want to force your children to submit to their religion in your schools.

 

They bilk millions of dollars from poor ignorant people through fraud and chicanery.

 

They dumb down our educational system and this country making us look like fools to the rest of Western Civilization.

 

They harass, stalk and murder to deny women their basic liberty and freedom to control their own reproduction choices and futures.

 

It dictates that only a personal relationship with Jesus Christ will gain them Heaven, everyone else spends eternity suffering unspeakable pain and torture in Hell (about 99% of humanity).

 

It dictates that God judges people upon their faith rather than their actions.

 

It’s dogmatic intolerance of other religions, cultures, and belief systems are responsible for most of the hate, bigotry and violence in the world both past and present.

 

It dictates that this world and the people in it mean nothing, only God and Death are of importance.

It dictates that crawling on one’s knees praying will get us what we desire.

 

It dictates that responsibility for everything lies with the omnipresence of God rather than the individual.

If you take a look through history or philosophy you will be hard pressed to find any sorrier pack of poop than that. Fluboobians have no idea what God is or about as they have reduced him to nothing other than an old book. All they really are is intolerant conservative extremists who use Jesus to gain political power to force society into buckling under to their own self serving ends.

 

Two hundred years ago those men in Philadelphia understood that allowing religion to dictate political and governmental power was the single  greatest deterrent to freedom and liberty in the world they experienced. Those men signed a document of which the most important aspect was called the Bill of Rights. It was not by chance or coincidence that the first ten words of that part of the Constitution giving each of us our rights states:

 

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion...”

 

So get God out of politics, out of the government, out of public schools, off the money and into hearts, homes and churches where he belongs.   

 

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   Jesus Christ My Ass

 

The only good I can find in fundamentalists consumed by the afterlife is they will make better dead people than live ones.

 

The Religious Right has re-created Jesus Christ in their own image. The Prince of Peace and Lord of Love is no longer remembered for the Beatitudes; giving the kingdom of Heaven to the meek, the peacemakers, the merciful, the persecuted and social outcasts. Nor are his parables of turning the other cheek, throwing the first rock, or his attacks on greed, money, and the rich ever mentioned. Even his most famous statement, “Father forgive them” is no longer part of the repertoire of these so-called Christians. Listen, watch, HEAR what the Religious Right is saying, the direction they pursue and the ideology expressed:

 

Who stands in front of clinics screaming at women in turmoil, hurting them further by calling them murderers and claiming they are going to Hell. Jesus Christ my ass.

 

Who prays for the death of doctors, Liberal Supreme Court Justices and politicians. Jesus Christ my ass.

 

Who is stalking families, disseminating hate literature, nailing up wanted posters, committing or refusing to decry threats, arson and murder. Jesus Christ my ass.

 

Who are in the forefront of adamantly protecting the rights of parents and schools to hit, paddle, spank, clobber, whip and wallop little kids? Jesus Christ my ass.

 

Who leads the campaign of hate and legal discrimination toward homosexuals and lesbians, piling on the persecuted and outcasts? Jesus Christ my ass.

 

Who leads the call for no mercy, no forgiveness, no compassion, life in prison and executions in the criminal justice system. Jesus Christ my ass.

 

Who funds clandestine wars in the basement of the White House murdering tens of thousands of peasants? Jesus Christ my ass.

 

Who is out waving flags in parades every time we kill a few thousand people?Jesus Christ my ass.

 

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    What It Be 

 

I like Serrano’s Piss Christ, for it represents what has come to surround Christianity since it has been bastardized by the political Right.

 

It has occurred to me what the real bottom line in all this hatred directed at Bill Clinton is really about. It’s not about lying, draft dodging, or even lying about sex (which conservatives are as or more guilty of than the President), rather it is all about sexual hedonism, which conservatives see as the only issue coming out of the 60’s. Ending an awful war, speaking out to peace, questioning the power structure rather than chanting the two mindless clichés of the time - My country Right or Wrong and Love it or Leave it, initiating and legislating civil rights, giving women and minorities equal protection under the law and initiating the cultural freedom we enjoy today. Conservatives refuse to see any of that as applicable to morality, they only dwell on the sex issues of the 60’s, a miniscule part of the whole.

 

I am having trouble finding anything Jimmy Carter said about abortion. My assumption, in that as an evangelical born-again Christian, he was quietly Pro Life. Which leaves Bill Clinton as the only active Pro Choice president in American history. And abortion is all about sex. Who is the most rabid Pro Lifer in Congress? It just happens to be Henry Hyde, Chairman of the Judiciary Committee who was the powerhouse in impeaching the President. In fact watching all of the Republicans House Managers regarding the impeachment, it seems every one of them was an Evangelical Pro Life Christian in bed with the Religious Right.

 

This sorely intolerant 29% of America who has bastardized Christianity for their political ends, have, by gaining control of the GOP, gained control of America. And what are their central issues? Abortion, homosexuality, birth control, sex education, pornography, prostitution, and now peeking in windows to see who is having sex with whom. They are neurotically, perhaps psychotically consumed with other people’s sex lives. Why? Other than being a bunch of tight assed hypocritical elitists coveting what their neighbors may be enjoying, I haven’t a clue.

 

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   Organized Religion

 

“I have recently been examining all the known superstitions of the world, and do not find in our particular superstition (Christianity) one redeeming feature. They are all alike founded on fables and mythology.” Thomas Jefferson

 

Here follows the reality regarding the purpose of Religion in the order of today:

 

1)      To beat death.

2)      To push one’s belief system on others.

3)      For those in charge to make a living.

4)      To deal with our personal misery.

5)      To better oneself.

6)      To spread peace, compassion, mercy and love.

 

Shouldn’t that all be put in the opposite order? Here is a question to ask your conservative friends and acquaintances.  Who do you think would be more likely to be for the death penalty, Satan or Jesus Christ? The only response they have to that is to refuse to answer because it would make them look bad.

 

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    Christianity Corrupted 

 

The Religious Right has so corrupted Christianity that the new vision of Christ comes to us from the movie Dr. Strangelove. It is no longer Slim Pickens riding that ICBM down to Moscow, but Jesus Christ in a cowboy hat.

 

I was watching some Dateline type show which followed a murder trial with interviews of the jurors and the victim’s family. At the sentencing stage, voting to either execute or give life without parole, two very old ladies on the jury refused to vote for execution, period. Some of the remaining ten jurors, who made sure to reference themselves as Christians, said they got so angry at the women shouting matches almost came to blows. What? They were so hungry to kill they were going to beat up two 80 year old women? They said they got so mad at the old biddies, they gave up in just a couple hours and returned with a life in prison verdict. Next came interviews with the victim’s family who were screaming and crying, some hysterical, because there would be no execution, also making sure to reference themselves as Christians.

 

A short time later, watching the news, I happened upon an interview with two men from Littleton Colorado. One had placed 15 crosses up on a hill representing those killed at Columbine High, the other removed two of the crosses (the two representing Klebold and Harris). The first man said he just did what he was asked to do and was very very very sorry. The man who uprooted the crosses forgave the other man. Then both men went on for a few minutes explaining what good Christians they both were.

 

About once a week and a little ways up the road from here in Huntsville, Texas a group of people carrying crosses and reciting scripture in front of the death chamber scream and yell not to save some poor soul, but to kill them. Again loudly proclaiming themselves Christians.

 

Can anyone really imagine Jesus Christ on a jury screaming and fighting to have someone executed? Or angrily uprooting crosses from a hill and dragging them off because they represented criminals, like Barabbas? Or hanging around execution chambers promoting more killing? Wasn’t the point of Christianity splitting off from Judaism to promote redemption, forgiveness, mercy and  to end the circle of vengeance? Let’s put a little responsibility for our violent culture upon this corruption of Christianity that thirsts for more violence and vengeance than Rap and Marilyn Manson combined.

 

Whenever these people are confronted with any of this, I am sure you know how it goes. The Beatitudes don’t matter, the parables don’t matter, the gospels don’t matter, what Jesus said or did don’t matter, what you do, what they do what anyone does doesn’t matter. All that matters is accepting Jesus as one’s Lord and Savior. It’s a mental illness.   

 

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   God Gives Okies the Finger

 

Most everything in this chapter had probably already been said by 1700. We’ve forgotten that historians named it the Enlightenment for good reason.

 

Throughout the South and that area in the Midwest called “Tornado Alley”, tornadoes are called The Fingers of God. With over 40 dead and 100 seriously injured in one week in Oklahoma and Kansas, God killed about three times as many innocent people as Harris and Klebold did in Littleton.

 

Something must be done about this wholesale carnage. Hearings need to be convened immediately to place blame. Guns, parents, Rock & Roll, television, movies, pornography and the internet - seem for once - to have nothing to do with this, the blame must be put solely upon the shoulders of God.

 

For millions of years God has gotten away with the senseless slaughter of millions of people. Tornadoes, hurricanes, floods, volcanoes, lightening, earthquakes, miscarriages, stillbirths, and the serendipity of being in the wrong place at the wrong time are fully his responsibility. Time to file charges on the murdering sonofabitch. He has gotten away with this carnage for far too long.

 

Republicans must immediately begin congressional hearings on the matter. Bring in their parade of standard expert witnesses; Phyllis Schafaly, Jerry Falwell, and that endless group of Heritage Foundation employees. Let’s take a legal look at that Book written by the hand of God. How much hate, bigotry, sexism and violence does it promote? Perhaps ban it in Boston.

 

Another ridiculous battle raged in the Arkansas Legislature after The Fingers of God devastated an area of that state. The fight was over the wording in the relief bill. Governor Mike Huckabee, a Republican Baptist minister wants the words “acts of God” removed from the legislation saying it is “a matter of deep conscience to me to attribute in law a destructive and deadly force as being an ‘act of God.’” Huckabee intends to veto the bill unless the wording is changed to “natural disaster”.

 

The state legislature spent the day debating God’s role in the world, Rep Jim Luker said, “To say God didn’t create tornadoes is just like saying he didn’t create spring rains. If God didn’t create this universe and all the forces in it, then I don’t know who did.” But it is nice to know that the Arkansas House has proved the existence of God. They sure are on their toes in Arkansas!

 

In so many areas of random violence there is little we can effectively do, but in this case something can be done. Stop talking about the present Heavenly sociopath we have and he will just disappear. Invent a better God; a kinder, gentler one, with at least a semblance of conscience.

 

Being from Texas, I have seen a lot of local tornado news. Inevitably the anchor flashes to the field were a wet woman with a microphone stands in the rubble interviewing a family. Often the background buzzes with fire trucks, ambulances and other families poking around in mountains of boards. “We lost everything! Junior is in the hospital with a two by four in his chest. It sounded like a train and we prayed. God answered our prayers! Praise the Lord.” That is just so crazy on so many levels I am at a loss for words.

 

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    Dear Newt,

 

In my life I have sensed an aura of evil in only five people; William Rusher, Charles Manson, Ann Coulter, Robert Novak and now you. I admit it is not only about evil ideology and the way it is presented, but also has quite a bit to do with physical appearance, most centrally that deep darkness around shifty darting eyes.

 

But that’s not why I’m writing you. I wanted to let you know what a great idea your prayer amendment is. A voluntary moment of silence in school will turn out to be a great way to start the day for our kids. If school is still anything like I remember, I know there will be at least one clown in each classroom who will choose not to volunteer to silence but rather make little farting noises which will turn your moment, minute or whatever the Hell it is, into a snickering giggle session. Best re-think that voluntary option you got there Newt and go with the philosophy we all know you and your gang privately adhere to, involuntary servitude to the God invented by the powers that be to keep the peons in line.

 

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   Eat Your Pudding!

 

The difference between a cult and a religion is the number of people in it.
 

Some people believed there was a UFO following in the tail of Comet Hale-Bopp. They said the higher intelligence there created them, and when they shed their bodies their souls go on to meet that intelligence who takes them to a far far better place.

 

Other people believe there is a big city with golden streets far out in the firmament where winged creatures play harps on small clouds. They say the higher intelligence there created them, and when they shed their bodies, their souls go on to meet that intelligence who takes them to a far far better place. 39 people in San Diego had the courage of their convictions and left their bodies for that better place. I am waiting for the rest of the millions of true believers to have the courage of their convictions and eat their pudding.

 

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     Here He Comes Again

 

“The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.” Pat Robertson

 

The ten sure signs that He is the true Jesus Christ of the Second Coming:

 

1)      He is a White Republican

2)      Wears a dark suit with a red tie

3)      Carries an M16 with bandoleer

4)      Sports a spiffy Himmler haircut

5)      Carries a dead fetus in a towel

6)      Swings a “TAXATION IS THEFT” placard over his shoulder

7)      Has a headband with an 800 number on where to send him all your money

8)      Carries a large paddle inscribed with: “Bring unto me the little children”

9)      Advocates executing more people more often more quickly

10)     Hates homosexuals and lesbians very VERY much

 

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     [warning] The Christian Mythology

 

“Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.” God, Numbers 31:17-18

 

There are two taboos in this society which neither the politicians nor the media will address. The ignorance of the mob and the neurosis of crawling around to supernatural deities. Allow me to correct that deficiency.

 

So God (or his representative) zooms down to Earth and porks this young Jewish virgin. Not a one night stand mind you, but from what I hear, a one minute stand. He finishes her off, pulls up his pants and ascends back to his golden throne to do his new thing, nothing ever again. Of course he doesn’t marry the woman nor does he ever give her or the child one penny in child support (or support of any kind for that matter). Subsequently a swell guy comes along and marries the sullied woman and brings up the illegitimate kid as his own. After the little bastard grows up he finds himself in a load of trouble with the powers that be because he’s unemployed, running amok in a dress and yelling and screaming about replacing hate and vengeance with love and peace. So they nail the long-haired maggot infested liberal do-gooder to a dead tree. He hangs there forgiving everyone but finally cries out to his real father to come help him. His father is too busy picking his nose and ignores him as usual.

 

What a lesson in family values! We should be jamming this stuff down our kids throats not for a voluntary minute a day in school, but all day, every day! I have given this a lot of thought and have concluded that basing a religion on Pee-wee Herman would be a step up.

 

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      [warning] Pregnant Homeless Woman Denied Room

 

If God didn’t want people screwing at 13 why did he make them sexually mature at 13? Is God stupid?

 

UPI - Bethlehem, Dec 25 33BC - A homeless pregnant woman claiming to be a virgin and her husband of a few weeks, were denied a room today at the El Beth Inn. She and her long haired, dress-wearing supposed husband, dragged a bag laden mule around town looking for a place to stop and have a quick baby. They found an open animal pen where the woman went into labor. She produced a healthy boy and breast fed it. The woman who would only give her name as “Mary” was later arrested for indecent exposure and vagrancy. The child, “Jesus Doe” is now in protective custody awaiting disposition of fornication and illegitimacy charges against “Mary and Joe Doe”.

 

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   Stupid Family Values

 

“As the Government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion...” John Adams Treaty of Tripoli (1797)

 

I take issue with House Majority Whip Tom DeLay’s statement that, “In the beginning, God created the family.” Not true. In the beginning, God created a bachelor. Sometime later he created a companion for him. A bad woman who lured the good man into sin by talking him into eating No-no fruit. They never married, lived in sin, and of their two bastard boys, one killed the other. Then, what was left of that dysfunctional family, all jumped in bed together to populate the Earth. You know, I would think these noodleheads like DeLay would keep God’s liberal family values a bit more hush-hush in an election year.  

 

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    The Christian Theology

 

“The Bible is not my Book and Christianity is not my religion. I could never give assent to the long complicated statement of Christian dogma.” Abraham Lincoln

 

Christ Embracing John the Baptist - Reni 1635 

Christ Embracing John the Baptist - Reni 1635.

 

Reni’s rendition of Jesus as a young beatific, androgynous or even effeminate figure in the expression of love to his fellow man is no longer a viable form. Today’s depiction would need to show him with an M-16 in one hand, a whip, cane or paddle to beat children in the other, a semper fi tattoo on his forehead, Black Talon bandoleers across his chest, with his apostles following behind him lugging poison filled syringes, canisters of cyanide, hangman’s nooses and a portable electric chair.

 

He would no longer travel in a dress among the poor, the infirm, and prostitutes, but in a three piece suit sitting in board rooms discussing new ways of taking from the poor to give to the wealthy, while working on new forms of propaganda and fraud for his spokesmen to bilk more money from those who can least afford it.

 

He would lead the masses backward rather than forward, dismissing change in lieu of the status quo, and when not standing in front of clinics spitting out venom at women, he would be out on the stump advocating hatred and eternal damnation at homosexuals, Buddhists, Liberals, Hindus, Democrats, Jews, Moslems, Japs, Socialists, Chinamen, Agnostics, and anyone on welfare. The Prince of Peace and Lord of Love has been replaced by the Jack of War and the King of Intolerance.

 

Here we are once again making that point that this is all something new and different in the history of Christianity, when in reality it’s just the same old theology pushing the same old crap it always has. Remember, in 360AD Constantine accepted Christianity as the State religion. What soon followed was the fall of Rome and five hundred years of darkness.

 

Original Sin. A twofold theological piece of crap leading to no good end whatsoever. God charges each human at birth with the sin of Eve (a women of course) and then adds to it the sins of their fathers for five generations. So he sends his only son down to be murdered to alleviate all this non existent guilt. What an asshole.

 

Born Again. The believeth in me clause not only declares that most Christians and all non-Christians will suffer eternal pain and damnation in Hell, but presents the most repellent aspect of Christianity, one’s belief is what gains one everlasting life, while one’s actionshave nothing to do with it. Perhaps the most disgusting idea man has ever come up with.

 

The Bible. A mass of inconsistent double standards and hypocrisies allowing anyone holding it to toggle from advocating love to hate, peace to war, vengeance to forgiveness, callousness to compassion at their pleasure. What silliness.

 

Prayer. People crawling around on their knees asking doubtful deities to do for them what they should be doing for themselves. What a way to teach self reliance to the children.

 

Omnipresence. That God knows everything. Free will is only a meaningless canard tossed out occasionally contradicting the bottom line of God’s power.  We go where God directs us no matter what we do. A fine lesson in responsibility and accountability for our kids.

 

Resurrection. The greatest abomination of all. This life means nothing, the next everything. What better way for the status quo to keep the huddled masses in misery than to tell them to accept their lot and everything will be fine after they’re dead. Well other than those few Catholics and Methodists in the Liberation Theology movement.

 

The war, the killing, the hate, the bigotry, the pain, the misery this religion has caused does not compensate for the good it has done in alleviating mankind’s personal fears.     

 

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   The Ten Commandments

 

Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Advocates jealousy and denies choice. Eliminate it.

 

Thou shalt not make unto thee a graven image, nor any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: thou shalt not bow down thyself unto them, nor serve them; for I, Jehovah, thy God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the third and upon the fourth generation of them that hate me; and showing loving kindness unto thousands of them that love me and keep my commandments. Again God advocating jealousy with the added crap of him putting the sins of the fathers upon the children for 100 years. It also bodes poorly for the billion or so Catholics who live in mortal sin for producing, praying to and looking at crucifixes, statues, paintings, engravings, and glass works of saints, angels, icons, renditions of Madonna and Jesus or any other thing. Eliminate it.

 

Thou shalt not take the name of Jehovah thy God in vain: for Jehovah will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain. Touches upon heresy. Though swearing is not nice it’s not a mortal sin on par with murder. Eliminate it.

 

Observe the Sabbath day, to keep it holy, as Jehovah thy God commanded thee. Six days shalt thou labor, and do all thy work; but the seventh day is a Sabbath unto Jehovah thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, nor thy man-servant, nor thy maid-servant, nor thine ox, nor thine ass, nor any of thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates; that thy man-servant and thy maid-servant may rest as well as thou. And thou shalt remember that thou wast a servant in the land of Egypt, and Jehovah thy God brought thee out thence by a mighty hand and by an outstretched arm: therefore Jehovah thy God commanded thee to keep the Sabbath day. Though it may be nice for God to give we lowly humans a day off, this is absurd as a mortal sin. Billions of people break this every week. Not only shift workers, store clerks, police, fire fighters, emergency crews, but home owning grass cutters and leaf rakers. Also note it states slavery is accepted by God. Eliminate it.

 

Honor thy father and thy mother, as Jehovah thy God commanded thee; that thy days may be long, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which Jehovah thy God giveth thee. Keeper, but eliminate the extraneous gratuities and centering this upon only Israel.

 

Thou shalt not kill. Keeper, stipulate further.

 

Neither shalt thou commit adultery. Keeper though make more inclusive.

 

Neither shalt thou steal. Keeper.

 

Neither shalt thou bear false witness against thy neighbor. Keeper.

 

Neither shalt thou covet thy neighbor’s wife; neither shalt thou desire thy neighbor’s house, his field, or his man-servant, or his maid-servant, his ox, or his ass, or anything that is thy neighbor’s. Another confirmation of slavery. Covet, meaning desire, plays upon envy. Envy is not nice but not a mortal sin. Eliminate it.

 

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   The New Improved Ten Commandments

 

I.      Honor thy father and thy mother.

II.    Thou shalt not kill, period.

III.    Neither shalt thou steal.

IV.     Neither shalt thou break any contract made in good faith.

V.      Neither shalt thou bear false witness against others.

VI.    Neither shalt thou enter the circle of vengeance.

VII.    Teach thy children well.

VIII.   Do unto others as you would have them do onto you.

IX.      Love thy neighbor as yourself.

X.      Thou shalt clean up any mess thy maketh.

 

In fact these all could be reduced to one brief commandment: Thou shalt not lie, cheat, steal or kill.

 

How about this? Instead of countering their constant bleating about putting the Ten Commandments in our schools and courthouses, move from the secular side to their side. Argue that as a Christian Nation, we don't want Jewish Laws on our walls, instead we list Christ's Beatitudes from the Sermon on the Mount and put those up everywhere. Fat chance hey? 

 

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   Tortilla Jesus

 

“If Jesus was Jewish why does he have a Mexican name?” Anon

 

All Mighty God, who created the world and everything in it in six days has now been reduced to a sideshow charlatan running hither and yon putting sloppy images of Jesus & Mary on clouds, curtains, walls, tortillas, potato chips and cabbages. How in need of verification of belief are these nitwits?

 

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   Christian Prison Values

 

“Screw the Buddhists and kill the Muslims and put that in the minutes!” Henry Jordan, South Carolina Board of Education and Christian Coalition member. “Buddhism is a cult. So is Islam. I’m getting a little tired of it.” Henry Jordan apologizing for the poop he pooed the day before.

 

After being convicted of murder and cannibalism, Jeffery Dahmer said “If one does not believe in God, then what is the sense of modifying ones behavior? I believe Jesus Christ to be Lord and Savior.” A few years later Christopher Scarver who murdered Jeffery Dahmer by bashing his head to mush with a steel pipe said he was only acting as “the tool of the Jesus”. Two fine examples of today’s American Christianity.

 

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   Marx and Religion

 

“From each according to their ability, to each according to their need.” Karl Marx.

 

“Neither was there any among them that lacked; for as many as were possessors of lands or houses sold them, and brought the prices of things that were sold, And laid them down at the apostles feet: and distribution was made unto every man according as he had need.” Acts of the Apostles’ 4-34

 

Now there are a couple of compatible quotes from incompatible sources! Speaking of Karl Marx, when he made his infamous statement calling religion the opium of the masses, he caused the failure of his political system from the onset, for he failed to realize the vast majority of humanity requires a hefty bag of fantasy to suffer through reality. Like most of the great analytical minds throughout history, he too was just unable to consider most of humanity will deny reason, logic and even common sense if it interferes with what they wish to believe. 

 

Communism failed because of the inherent greed and selfishness endemic in human nature. A few millennium earlier, another person tried addressing those same problems, he failed too and got nailed to a tree.

 

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   Bend Over

 

“And while the children of Israel were in the wilderness, they found a man that gathered sticks upon the Sabbath day. And they that found him gathering sticks brought him unto Moses and Aaron, and unto all the congregation. And they put him in ward, because it was not declared what should be done to him. And the Lord said unto Moses, The man shall be surely put to death: All the congregation shall stone him with stones without the camp. And all the congregation brought him without the camp, and stoned him with stones, and he died; as the Lord commanded Moses.” Numbers 15:32 - 15:36

 

That is about the worst thing I ever read. Put that in a Rap song and Walmart wouldn't sell it.  

 

A recent poll showed that a the majority of Americans believe the Earth is less than 10,000 years old and that creationism should be taught in public schools. Even more sadly, about the same numbers holds true concerning teachers, including science teachers. So bend over, because George of Nazareth is pulling down his pants to stick a big hard double dose of religious lunacy up your ass for the foreseeable future. He has a win-win going for it is no longer conjecture, it is now accepted by the majority of Americans that Jesus Christ is a conservative Republican who died on the cross to give tax breaks for the wealthy.   

 

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   God In the News!

 

“It was, of course, a lie what you read about my religious convictions, a lie which is being systematically repeated. I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly.” Albert Einstein in response to the claim he is a true believer because of his “God does not play dice with the Universe” statement.

 

I read a headline in our little local paper today: Church to Push Patriotism!  I had to laugh like hell. We now have to save time in our busy lives (shopping and talking on cell phones) to get both forms of our cultural psychosis together in the same place at the same time. 

 

The next day there was an even more interesting article in the Houston Chronicle about a meeting of Ivy League philosophy professors who got together to prove God exists. The main speaker (using logical formulas) presented his finding that Jesus rising from the dead is 97% probable! The gist of the meeting was that The Enlightenment was in error, that there is nothing illogical or unreasonable about people believing that supernatural deities interact in their daily lives. From East coast LIBERAL college professors no less, which is why it made the news.

 

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   Will the Real God Please Stand Up

 

As to the existence of God, I’m dumb enough to not know, but I’m at least smart enough to understand no one else does either.

 

Islam is the second biggest religion with more than a billion believers. So they have the numbers backing them up as proof their God exists (which I assume is the main criteria for such things). Their belief is so strong that thousands kill themselves to not only impress their God, but express their absolute belief in an afterlife. Christians don’t do that. Moslems also get on their knees and kiss the ground in worship of God five times a day. Christians only sit, and then only once a week at most. Moslems so love their God, they adhere to the actual culture and dress of the time of their prophet. I don’t see many Christians with hair down to their shoulders wearing sandals and a dress. The conclusion is obvious, Allah is the real God and Islam the only true religion.

 

Which seems to be the dynamic that is pushing us of late, loudly proclaiming otherwise by all this religious crap coming at us. But the talk sure doesn’t compare to the walk unless thousands of Christians start blowing themselves up to prove their faith. And hey, if it were to catch on, and if enough on both sides get with the program, what a wonderful world it could be.

 

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   Siamese Twins and God

 

“Religious conservatives are not authoritarian.” Robert Bork presenting his credibility credentials

 

A recent controversy erupted over the separation of Siamese Twins. No need of Solomon on this one, but boy did the Religious Right go bonkers over it. Here we had two bodies with one heart and one set of lungs, doing nothing would cause the eminent death of both. So one must chose to either follow the school of thought where rules of logic, reason, ethics and common sense prevail and cut away the parasitic one to give the viable one life. OR, one follows the rules of ignorance, intolerance and dogma to do the wrong thing by forcing both to die through inaction. What kind of thinking would you call that? You got it, it’s that Biblical World View thing 

 

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    Great Quotes

 

“Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them.” Jerry Falwell

 

“AIDS is a judgment of God.” Billy Graham

 

“Religion is a way of walking, not a way of talking.” D.R. Inge

 

“If you really want to make a lot of money, start your own religion.” L. Ron Hubbard

sarah palin 2012


 

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