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The Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy


“For anybody willing to find it - and write about it, and explain it - is this vast right-wing conspiracy that has been conspiring against my husband since the day he announced for President. A few journalists have kind of caught on to it and explained it, but it has not yet been fully revealed to the American public.” Hillary Clinton Jan 27, 1998, Today Show


Here are the names of just a few of the people, publications and organizations who fully and actively participated in the very real vast right-wing conspiracy to destroy the Clintons:


Richard Mellon Scaife, the Arkansas Project, Larry Nichols, Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Cliff Jackson, David Brock, Ken Starr, R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr., The American Spectator, Troopergate, Gary Aldrich, Ted Nugent, Alfred Regnery, Regnery Publishing, Ambrose Evans-Pritchard, Christopher Ruddy, Council for National Policy, CNP, David Hale, Jim McDougal, Rush limbaugh, Joseph Farah, Western Journalism Center, WJC, Pittsburgh Tribune, Jeremiah Flms, Reed Irvine, Accuracy in Media, Bob Dornan, Susan Carpenter McMillan, Juanita Broaddrick, Insight Magazine, Paul Rodriguez, Washington Times and Reverend Sun Myung Moon




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The only job discrimination Paula Jones can prove is that she did not receive flowers from her Arkansas boss on Secretaries’ Day in 1992. If we assume secretaries get on average a dozen roses, that’s $165,000 per rose she is suing for.

UPDATE: Arkansas Sluts Paula Jones and Gennifer Flowers selling HOT Videos.

We need a picture of the President with a stiffy on the cover of Time. We, and our children, must know if it leans the same way Paula Jones says it leans. But there could be a conundrum there. The kind of intellectual exercise regarding which way is right and left to the person as opposed to the observer could very well confuse the poor girl to such an extent that she will probably get it wrong.


Paula Jones, her lawyers, and her handlers have now spent four years embarrassing the president with their disgusting low-ball accusations that they know cannot be proved. How the President’s wiener sways has been the topic on Pat Robertson’s family-oriented 700 Club numerous times; the arch and swing of a President’s erect penis, with the mainstream media having big fun with it too.

Though the monetary and legal support for Jones is the Rutherford Institute (an extreme conservative Christian Constructionist group), her daily handler (who helps keep Paula’s mouth shut and in dresses long enough to hide her crotchless panties) is Susan Carpenter McMillan. Susan is presented by the media as a non-partisan spokeswoman for Poor Paula. I was astounded to hear Ms. Carpenter accuse the Democrats and the President of, get this, the “sleaze” of trying to embarrass Paula by talking about her sexual behavior! Oh my God! Can you believe it? How unfair! How could anybody sink so low as to delve into the sexual life of another! That lower echelon of Hell we used to hear about in classic literature? Where it’s said all the hypocrites go? Sure is gonna be chock full of conservatives, let me tell you.

    Billionaire Right-wing lunatic Richard Mellon Scaife Spreads Vast Fortune Over Vast Areas in a Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy to Destroy President Clinton and The First Lady


“A conspiracy may be a continuing one. Actors may drop out and others may drop in; the details of operation may change from time to time; the members need not know each other or the part played by others; a member may not need to know all the details of the plan of the operation; he must, however, know the purpose of the conspiracy and agree to become a party to a plan to effectuate that purpose.” Craig v. United States 7th District Court of Appeals, 1990


There is even a name for this vast Right-wing conspiracy which conservatives contend only exists in the paranoid ramblings of liberal bitch First Ladies. The Arkansas Project, which they are not the least bit ashamed in bandying about to get conservatives all over the world to contribute to and feed from.


I have heard some of the most absurd explanations why there was no such thing as a vast Right-wing conspiracy to destroy the Clintons; and sadly, it comes from liberals and Democrats as well as conservatives and Republicans. The most ubiquitous and obnoxious example (permeating the AM radio dial) is that because the New York Times and the Washington Post have reported negative stories on the Clintons, and they are not Right-wing, it follows there is no right-wing conspiracy. That’s like saying there was no Nazi conspiracy to eliminate the Jews because Albert Speer and Eva Braun were not active participants.


I spent some serious time on this issue. Such a vast accumulation of notes, cutouts from my reading, and information from searching the Web has created so much information it has become like those nightmares of endless infinite thingamajigs that are always so hard to get a handle on. The amount of information directly proving the vast Right-wing conspiracy is so overwhelming, a 23-volume encyclopedia could be done on it, but not by me. So to get this thing in the can I am going to just hit on a couple of the most important players.


The Disgruntled Employee - In 1988 an ex-radio jingle writer named Larry Nichols who worked for the State of Arkansas (financial bonding) was accused of making over 650 long-distance calls to Nicaragua supporting the Contras from state phones, which a subsequent investigation proved to be true. Then-Governor Bill Clinton demanded his resignation. After being forced to resign, Nichols avoided prosecution by promising to pay the phone bills which he never did, choosing to declare bankruptcy instead. Rather than grabbing a bunch of guns and going to shoot his boss as most unstable nitwits like Nichols do, he instead decided to dedicate the rest of his life to a personal mission: Destroy Bill Clinton.


Larry Nichols is the basis of almost every accusation against Bill Clinton coming out of Arkansas: Whitewater, Mena, Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, and the claim that Clinton has physically beaten and raped numerous women, including prostitutes. Nichols is a sought-after guest across the AM bandwidth, primarily the Michael Reagan Show, where he is a regular. He also has his own weekly show on the USA Talk Network.


The Gennifer Flower tapes have been proven to be doctored at her end. What Clinton says on them is valid, but to change the innuendo and meaning of his words, Flowers dubbed in added material to her side of the conversations. Though at odds with Nichols for many years, when she finally got a whiff of all the money she could make, she and Nichols teamed up to became the first in the then-local conspiracy. It is suspected that because of Nichols’s prior work in dubbing radio jingles, it was he who doctored the Flowers tapes. About the only good thing that can be said about this vindictive little Right-wing sleazeball is that he hasn’t been smart enough to cash in on it as so many others have. He claims he is still broke.


The Clinton-Hating Lawyer - Cliff Jackson, a neurotically obsessed Arkansas Clinton Hater, first teamed up with a couple Arkansas state troopers to spread the story that as Governor, Bill Clinton used the troopers to procure women and prostitutes. The information was pushed to David Brock, who wrote the article for the American Spectator. Subsequently, the troopers admitted under oath that they were paid to lie. Jackson then moved on to represent Paula Jones and to run her from one conservative organization to another with her ever–more-embellished story of sexual harassment by then-Governor Clinton.


The Right-Wing Publishers - R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr., is the founder and owner of the far Right-wing/libertarian tabloid, The American Spectator. With the help of His Lardness at the EIB network, and using the magazine as the central clearing house to attack Clinton, Tyrrell got his magazine’s circulation up from 35,000 to over 350,000 in just two years, almost double that of The Nation, The Progressive, and Mother Jones combined. Over the years this rabid Right-wing lunatic has been given credibility and acceptability by the television networks who parade him around as a political pundit. (By the way, he is a such a doppelganger for former SNL’s Norm MacDonald, and so far out, that when he comes up as a talking head on the television I often think I am watching a SNL skit.)


The American Spectator is the central publication in this vast Right-wing conspiracy, which became so singularly consumed with destroying the Clintons that not only did its longtime editor quit, but David Brock (who wrote the Troopergate and Paula Jones stories for Tyrrell) later publicly apologized for the dishonest articles he contributed to the magazine and wrote a book, Blinded by the Right, exposing the whole sordid dishonest conspiracy.


Another interesting player in all this puts a bit more vastness into the conspiracy: Alfred Regnery, the owner of Regnery Publishing. Longtime friend of both Ken Starr and Lucianne Goldberg, he publishes the extreme Right-wing crap no one else will. Some of the books he published include FBI squealer Gary Aldrich’s Unlimited Access (the one that falsely claimed the President would often get in the back of a car with a blanket over his head to go whoring in downtown DC). Another is Ted Nugent’s machine-gunning-down-animals book God, Guns, and Rock & Roll. Another best-selling hate-Clinton book, The Secret Life of Bill Clinton by Ambrose Evans-Pritchard (this one states President Clinton is a cocaine addict snorting up regularly in the Oval Office), adds considerably to the vastness as it came to us from London.


The Right-wing Billionaire - William Mellon Scaife gave The American Spectator $1.8 million specifically earmarked for the magazine to dig up all the dirt they could on Bill and Hillary Clinton, which is a vast Right-wing conspiracy in itself. Scaife is without a doubt the most powerful conservative lunatic in America, spending his billions of dollars to fill the coffers of just about every Right-wing organization there is. One of those organizational charts of the Right would show most every box with an arrow going to and through this guy.


Besides having the Mellon fortune at his disposal, he is the owner of the Pittsburgh Tribune. This is the paper that hired reporter Christopher Ruddy who even Rupert Murdoch dumped because he refused to write anything other than Clinton murder conspiracies. Ruddy, through Scaife’s Pittsburgh Tribune, has been the prime mover of the “Hillary murdered Vince Foster” crap for years. Scaife is so far out in Right-wing La-La land that he finally yanked his long-standing and weighty financial support from The American Spectator because he felt they were not working hard enough to destroy the Clintons.


The Right-Wing Fascist Little Shit - The impetus of the Whitewater investigation going to independent counsel in the first place came from the word of one crooked Arkansas Judge named David Hale, an admitted liar, tax evader, and felon on the payroll of Richard Scaife and the American Spectator. After pleading guilty to all criminal charges he was given a sweet deal by Ken Starr if he would tell him what Starr wanted to hear. The ensuing investigation concerning a $5000 loss by the Clintons depended on the testimony of only three people: David Hale, a convicted felon and liar; Jim McDougal, who in the end chose to tell Starr anything he wanted to hear in the hopes of getting out of jail soon enough to get critical medical attention (Starr used McDougal’s coerced information and left him in jail to die anyway); and, of course, Susan McDougal, who chose to spend years of her life in jail rather than lie for Ken Starr. The entire Whitewater case was based on testimony from a crook and a dead man.


Conservative Organizations -  Of course many organizations were trying to destroy the Clintons: the Christian Coalition, Pat Robertson, Liberty Baptist, and Oliver North out of Virginia. The NRA out of DC. The EIB network out of New York and Palm Beach. Conservative operatives Gary Aldrich and Linda Tripp in the White House. And one little-known organization, the Council for National Policy (CNP), the most powerful conservative policy group in America, which came to light in San Diego during the Republican convention in August 1996. They hit the media when they won the fight to keep the purity of the pro-life plank in the GOP platform. A few names you might recognize in that membership:

  1. Howard Ahmanson - Top backer of California vouchers

  2. John F. Ankerberg - Ankerberg Theological Research Institute

  3. Richard K. Armey - R- Texas, House majority leader

  4. Gary Bauer - Family Research Council (presidential candidate)

  5. Brent Bozell - Media Research Center

  6. Dan Burton - R-Indiana (scumbag)

  7. Coors - Lots of ‘em!

  8. David Copeland - Copeland Ministries

  9. William E. Dannemeyer - GOP California homophobe

  10. Tom DeLay - R-Texas House, majority whip

  11. Rich DeVos - Owner Amway

  12. James Dobson - Focus on the Family

  13. John N. Doggett - Black conservative attacker of Anita Hill

  14. Robert K. Dornan - Former gay bashing House member

  15. Ronald S. Godwin - Washington Times Corporation

  16. Alan Gottlieb - Citizens Committee for the RKBA

  17. Jesse Helms - R-North Carolina

  18. Nelson Bunker Hunt - Texas billionaire

  19. Reed Irvine - Accuracy in Media

  20. Ernest J. Istook Jr. - R-Oklahoma

  21. Bob Jones - Bob Jones University

  22. Beverly LaHaye - Concerned Women for America

  23. Trent Lott - R- Mississippi, Senate majority leader

  24. Patrick McGuigan - Editorialist The Daily Oklahoman

  25. Edwin Meese - Ex attorney general, Heritage Foundation

  26. Don Nickles - R-Oklahoma

  27. Oliver North - Right-wing radio host

  28. Howard Phillips - US Taxpayers Party

  29. Ralph Reed - Past Christian Coalition president

  30. Pat Robertson - 700 Club

  31. Phyllis Schlafly - Eagle Forum

  32. Jay Sekulow - Christian Coalition’s Center Law & Justice

  33. John Sununu - Rightwing television host

  34. Paul Weyrich - Free Congress Foundation

  35. John Whitehead - Rutherford Institute

  36. Donald Wildmon - American Family Association  

And everyone on that list has contributed something in a concerted effort to the destruction of President Bill Clinton.


And so it was: from Arkansas to Pittsburgh, to New York, to Florida, to London, to Virginia, to Washington, DC, and through hundreds of conservative magazines, books, newspapers, organizations, and individuals, throughout the media, the House of Representatives and the Senate. A conspiracy. Vast and Right-wing.




   White House FBI Agent has Sex with Boys


“I conducted many investigations and talked to many sources trying to knock this particular issue down; I was unable to knock down the possibility.” Gary Aldrich on President Clinton hiding under a blanket and being driven from the White House to DC hotels to have sex with whores.


Gary Aldrich, Republican, conservative, Dole campaigner, and Clinton–hater, who worked FBI security in the Clinton White House for 3 years recently wrote a tell-all book, Unlimited Access from Regnery Press. This bestseller (making him a millionaire) proved without a doubt that Hillary Clinton is not as paranoid as conservatives like to paint her. For indeed, this book shows that just as she claimed, the security staff was not only spying on her and the president, but was out to politically destroy them.


That issue aside, I would like to inform everyone that Agent Gary Aldrich would often hide himself under a blanket scouring the mean streets of Washington DC looking for boys to have sex with. I print this using the same high-minded journalistic ethics expressed by Mr. Aldrich himself in the above quote, there is no proof he did not do this.


So let’s get this on the front page of The Washington Times, The New York Post, and The American Spectator, all of which had no trouble printing Aldrich’s bilge about Clinton using the same journalistic standards.




    First Lady Murders Vince Foster!


“There is one in a million possibility that Mr. Foster’s death was actually a suicide.” James Davidson, chairman of the National Taxpayers Union


There are two basic scenarios concerning the Foster suicide:  

  1. That Vince Foster had decided against getting help for his depression because he didn’t want the Wall Street Journal (which was at the time pillorying him) to get wind of a mental problem to further their attacks on himself and the Clinton administration, and he shot himself.  

  1. That Vince Foster was Hillary Clinton’s secret lover, whom she shot by sticking a gun in his mouth and pulling the trigger to keep him from squealing about Whitewater. She then rolled his body up in a rug, carried it to a waiting car, drove to a public park, carried the body from the car a few hundred yards through a sunny noonday park to the top of a small hill in the woods and dumped it down a hill.

Obviously the first one is illogical and unreasonable, leaving us with number two. This crap hit the mainstream through Rush Limbaugh. On his daily radio show he said a Washington consulting firm was about to release information that Vince Foster was murdered in Hillary Rodham Clinton’s apartments and the body was then moved to Ft. Marcy Park. There was no release of any such information from anywhere. It was pure pigshit. But from that day on, this story’s legs knew no bounds. Jerry Falwell soon marketed a video making not only that claim, but also claiming that the Clintons were suspected of killing up to 40 reporters, witnesses, and detractors in Arkansas. Falwell reaped $4 million in sales off that video.

A Republican independent prosecutor, the FBI, a Congressional subcommittee led by a Republican, the Finance committee (also led by Republicans), the Washington DC police, the US Park police, and now even conservative partisan prosecutor Kenneth Starr all found that the death of Vince Foster was a suicide, and that all the evidence - including motive - points to that fact.


So where did all this conspiracy crap about Foster come from? It came mostly from one source and was disseminated to the various right-wing organizations who push it around. It’s called the Western Journalism Center (WJC), a tiny and heretofore unknown organization in California that has placed a number of ads in major newspapers across the country. The ad sells a $35 forty-minute video explaining how Foster was murdered. The WJC is actually a one-man organization operated by conservative consultant Joseph Farah and backed privately by wealthy conservatives such as the Carthage Foundation and Jacobs Engineering Group.

Mr. Farah’s newspaper ads publicize the findings of Christopher Ruddy, a reporter who says he was forced to leave Rupert Murdock’s conservative New York Post to go work for Richard Scaife’s conservative Pittsburgh Tribune after refusing to write about anything but Mr. Foster’s death. Since leaving the Post, Ruddy worked on the Foster conspiracy case exclusively.


But the man who must be credited with pushing this crazy lie into the realm of media blitz is James Davidson. Mr. Davidson is chairman of the National Taxpayers Union, which produces the WJC video. The “proof” used by Rush Limbaugh and the various conservative conspiracy groups in this matter amounts to this:  

  1. The gun remained in Mr. Foster’s hand despite the kickback.

  2. Little blood was found under his body.

  3. No powder burns were found in the mouth.

  4. The left-handed Mr. Foster was found with the gun in his right hand.

  5. Carpet fibers were found on his clothes (suggesting that the body was rolled up in a carpet and moved).

  6. There was a brown car seen at the park.  

The reality is quite different. Every investigation showed that  

  1. Mr. Foster’s thumb was caught between the trigger and trigger guard of the gun.

  2. The body was on a incline, drawing blood away from his head.

  3. There was indeed powder residue on his palate.

  4. Mr. Foster was in fact right-handed.

  5. There were no more carpet fibers found on him than on anyone else.

  6. There are lots of brown cars.  

But it makes no difference to conservatives, for they are pathological liars. The object, of course, is to instill in the public mind that both the president and the first lady as suspected liberals are not only inherently evil, but wanton murderers as well.


Vince Foster conspiracy spin-offs made money hand over fist across America; one organization, the Christian conservative  Jeremiah Films, sold more than 200,000 videos called The Clinton Chronicles. It also published a book by Michael Kellett which begins with an open letter to the Clintons stating, “I hereby accuse the both of you of being responsible for, and the initiation and orchestration of, the murder of Vincent W. Foster, Jr.”


To accept this conspiracy claim that Hillary murdered Foster, we have to believe that the first lady is a wanton murderer; that she or someone close to her subdued the alert 6’5” Foster (no drugs or alcohol were present) without a struggle, put a gun in his hand, put his hand in his mouth, and forced him to pull the trigger; that they then dragged the body into a vehicle, carried it from the vehicle hundreds of feet through a park at lunch hour, and left with no one seeing them, all under the eyes of the FBI and Secret Service. One must hate someone very much to deny reason, logic, and common sense to such an extreme degree.


And here’s the horror in all this. This relentless propaganda campaign resulted in 30% of Americans believing that Foster was murdered and 47% being “not sure” if he was murdered. 77% of the public was sucked right into this crap. And we complain about the same percentage of blacks believing O.J. is, or may be innocent? Hey, come on; hypocrisy check.




   Reed Irvine - Dumb as Mud


The White House became akin to an underground revolutionary cell. Attorney/-client privilege is on the wane; no private conversation, no written notes, no electronic mail, no discussion with the press, no jokes or even what the Secret Service sees are safe from fascist little shit Ken Starr’s subpoena power. This not only required individuals to spend tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees and suffer possible indictment and jail time for anything one says or does not say (which may be defined as obstruction of justice), but it has also wasted millions of hours that could have been spent on matters of state.  


A few days after conservative independent prosecutor Ken Starr officially concluded that Vince Foster had committed suicide (as all prosecutors and police agencies also concluded), Reed Irvine (R-Hell), of the conservative propaganda machine ineptly named Accuracy in Media, conducted a public relations meeting to sell Christopher Ruddy and his new book Hillary Clinton - Murdering Slut! Really, I’m not kidding; that’s the name of it. [Sorry, I just got done reading a Dave Barry column].


The few hours I watched this room full of morons pooh-poohing some of the most Godawful crazy poo-poo I’ve ever heard were the most entertaining I’ve had since the last rant I saw from Bob Dornan in the Well. They had three so-called facts that their conspiracy now depended upon: Vince Foster’s heart stopping before he was shot, the brown car, and the illicit affair between Foster and the first lady.


Foster’s body laid head-up on an appreciable incline and as such, the blood from the wound drained into his lower body rather than onto the ground. Impossible, these conservatives say. Even the law of gravity will not sway these lunatics on their Clinton jihad. The brown car is even crazier. It seems someone saw a brown car parked at Marcy Park and Foster’s car was gray. Never did they explain why there couldn’t have been more than one car parked at Marcy Park, or what it had to do with anything at all whatsoever. And the witness they brought to the podium who said he saw a brown car at Marcy Park said he was in the bushes sticking it to his girlfriend at the same time! Nothing was claimed about the car or anyone in it, or anyone going to or from it, just a car that was brown. He then went on about the evil men in black who have been following him and harassing him ever since. I guess that’s what is called conservative bozobility


Well, there you have it; their case. Gravity is only a theory, liberal women are murdering sluts, and a paranoid bozo said he saw a brown car parked in Marcy Park. And to cap off that grand reasoning, Reed Irvine himself took to the podium to end the meeting with a yell of “CASE CLOSED!”


The epilog here is fun too. I happened to watch the original conference live on C-SPAN. Immediately calls came in complaining that C-SPAN was biased because they had aired this wonderful, honest, and unbiased meeting when nobody was watching. C-SPAN replied that it was a live feed. Of course, that didn’t matter to the conservative callers, who were so upset they had to use the Democrat line claiming to be Democrats to make sure every call was the same complaint. C-SPAN then repeated the meeting on Saturday and again on Sunday. But on Monday the calls came in once again, commandeering both the Republican and Democrat lines complaining that C-SPAN was biased because they only aired it three times.




   Did Rush Limbaugh Murder Vince Foster?


Right-wing journalist Sandy Hume, gay son of Right-wing FOX News Director Brit Hume of Right-wing cable news FOX NEWS NETWORK (owned by Right-wing media mogul Rupert Murdock) was murdered by Rush Limbaugh. The claim that he committed suicide is ludicrous at best; carpet hairs were found on Mr. Limbaugh, an eyewitnesses saw a brown car somewhere, and Limbaugh may have been having a homosexual affair with Hume.


Did Rush Limbaugh actually pull the trigger on Vince Foster that day in Marcy Park, or did he just give the orders? His motive was clear; as one of the central leaders in the vast Right-wing conspiracy to destroy the president and his wife, Limbaugh needed to set her up as a murdering slut to further his career as America’s top conservative propagandist. So he killed Vince Foster (or had him killed), making it look like a suicide on the surface, but using his radio show to implicate the first lady in an adulterous love triangle as the motive. The following facts prove Limbaugh’s involvement:  

  1. Limbaugh was within one day’s travel time to Marcy Park on the day of the so-called suicide.

  2. He has a phone in his office that he could have used to order someone killed.

  3. He is strong enough to have carried Foster’s body through a park.

  4. There was a brown car seen near the park!

  5. Not one person has stepped forward to say they did not see Limbaugh at Marcy Park on that day.

  6. He is left-handed.

  7. He has been divorced three times and has no children.  

Put it all together and it conclusively proves that Rush Limbaugh murdered Vince Foster! So now that I have it all worked out and as well presented as Jerry Falwell, Reed Irvine, and Christopher Ruddy, I only have to figure out how to make my millions from it as they have. And there’s the rub. These conservative pigs can take their crap to literally thousands of conservative organizations, think tanks, and millionaire publishers, but where do I go with mine?




    Independent Prosecutor, My Ass


“I want to be Solicitor General under President Quayle.” Independent Prosecutor Ken Starr


Under George the Father, Kenneth Starr’s project as Solicitor General was to work on getting the flag-burning amendment passed, fulfilling the fundamental purpose of conservative ideology, getting that damn government off our backs! (By forcing the damn government to throw non-violent political dissenters in jail.)


Ken took it personally when the Clinton administration let him go after the White House transition ended. He took that standard political practice personally, which instilled in him a strong personal dislike for Bill Clinton. What better candidate for an open–ended, independent investigation of the Clintons? And if that were not enough, Starr had been legally and personally involved with Paula Jones and her lawsuit and took some pretty big hunks of money from his two biggest clients, the Christian Coalition and tobacco interests. He was also appointed to replace his predecessor, Robert Fiske (another Republican), by Judge Sentelle; the same Jesse Helms protégé who overturned Ollie North’s felonies.


Since Hillary Clinton made her statement concerning a vast right-wing conspiracy, polls have shown that 60% of Americans believe Clinton’s political enemies are “conspiring” to bring down his presidency.


Easily the most politically partisan prosecutor in American history was given the mantle of Independent Prosecutor - a manwho, for over five years, tried to get Bill Clinton impeached and Hillary Clinton thrown in prison, but wound up with nothing to show after all that time other than sending a sick old man to die and prison and costing us all $50 million. Ken Starr finally took the lowest road possible by going after every woman in America who Bill Clinton may have been alone with for more than two minutes. Starr claims it was related to his investigation for national security reasons, that in the throes of sex, Clinton may have yelled out, “My wife and I stole millions of dollars to give to Chinamen! Here’s our notes!”


At the same time Starr was grilling bimbos about their sex lives, Arkansas State Trooper Ronald Anderson (who was a guard for the governor) came forward to admit he lied about Clinton’s marital infidelities because Arkansas Clinton-hater Cliff Jackson offered him and other troopers $100,000/year jobs for seven years. He said their stories “were nothing more than old fish tales, with little, if any, basis in fact.”


That admission brought forward Trooper Danny Ferguson, the State Trooper who sent Paula Jones up to Clinton’s room and who now admits that he refused to give Jackson any information unless he received the $1 million Jackson was offering for a book deal beforehand.


Starr’s low road also brought forward a Paula Jones coworker who says that Jones came to her immediately after the suspected incident, mentioning no sexual harassment. She compared Paula’s excitement at having met Clinton as the same “bubbly enthusiasm’’ she had shown when she had once caught a glimpse of actor Arnold Schwarzenegger.


It’s time for Starr to get his ass off to Pepperdine University, where he can do some good helping the students in their prevailing major subjects: Right-Wing Surfing with Dana Rohrabacher and Reactionary Golf with Ed Meese.




   Bimbo Update


After the infamous Coffee-Klatch Grope, Kathleen Willey sent a handwritten personal invitation to Bill Clinton to attend her child’s engagement party. A few days later she went right back to the little coffee room alone with him.


Five years after the fact, Paula Jones filed an affidavit identifying anatomical features that she said would prove that Clinton exposed himself to her. Shortly after that, Gennifer Flowers publicly stated that there were no such features. A case of dueling bimbos. For their backstabbing lies, one gets thousands of dollars in entertainment tour dates, while the other’s income went from $20K  $300K a year, a free Mercedes, a new nose, a $20,000 makeover, and a new life in Southern California. Some Paula Jones facts:

  1. Paula Jones had a reputation as a loose woman.

  2. Paula Jones’ family doesn’t trust her.

  3. Paula Jones eagerly went alone into a hotel room with a known womanizer.

  4. Paula Jones posed naked for pictures before she met Bill Clinton.

  5. Paula Jones married a Right-wing Clinton-hater before going public.

  6. Paula Jones came out under the wing of local Arkansas Clinton-hater Cliff Jackson.

  7. Paula Jones’ first lawyer was Gil Davis, a partisan GOP operative seeking elected office.

  8. Paula Jones’ second legal team was provided by the extreme Right-wing Rutherford Institute.

  9. Paula Jones made $50,000 on a blue jeans deal.

  10. Paula Jones income went from $20,000 to $300,000 a year.

  11. Paula Jones’ lawsuit centers on her wanting $2 million.

  12. Paula Jones now drives a Mercedes.

  13. Paula Jones got a $20,000 makeover and a nose job.

  14. Paula Jones got a new life in Southern California.

  15. Paula Jones waited three years before she said anything to anyone about the encounter.

  16. Paula Jones said she wanted no notoriety while doing everything possible to become the most notorious woman in America.  

Paula Jones says she wants her reputation back. From her present standing as a lying, money-grubbing, world-class slut back to her old position as a $6 an hour unknown Arkansas slut who posed nude for pictures before Bill Clinton sullied her fine reputation as Arkansas’ most famous “show us your boobs” trailer-park party girl.






   The Tawana Brawley Juanita Broaddrick Story


“My hatred for him is overwhelming.” Juanita Broaddrick’s statement on her reason for going public with this 20-year-old story.

The Clinton Hate Machine is so overwhelming nothing can stop it; it has become so much an integral part of the Republican Party that it will probably go on for years after he leaves office. As the central rallying point of conservative ideology this decade, intense personal hatred has become such a cash cow people are standing in line to go for a ride. Liars and idiots are making millions feeding the frenzy; including the next in line, Juanita Broaddrick. Here are the alleged facts:  

  1. The woman invited Bill Clinton to her hotel room, which she was alone in.

  2. The woman was married and having an ongoing affair at the time.

  3. The woman said “no” numerous times but did not scream or struggle.

  4. Bill Clinton bit her lip and raped her.

  5. Bill Clinton pulled up his pants, put on his shades, and told her to put some ice on her lip.

  6. Her husband says there was no swollen lip.

  7. Her husband’s politics are unknown.

  8. Her boyfriend says there was a swollen lip.

  9. Her boyfriend’s politics are steeped in conservative neurotic Clinton-hatred.

  10. The two other people who said she had a swollen lip were intense Clinton-haters based on Clinton’s decision to commute a death penalty for the man who murdered their father.

  11. Juanita Broaddrick waited 21 years to accuse Bill Clinton of raping her.

  12. When this story originally came up, Broaddrick signed an affidavit that she never had a sexual encounter with Bill Clinton.

  13. She was in contact with Lucianne Goldberg before coming out with the accusation.  

To get to the crux of the problem, substitute “Bill Clinton” for someone you greatly admire and read it again. Now substitute “Bill Clinton” for someone you greatly abhor and read it again. And therein lies the problem with the truth. The major deterrent to the advancement of humanity, past, present, and future is that we are only going to believe what we want to believe.




     Dig Him Up!


“If he’s guilty, shoot him and shoot him quick; we want him out.” Editor in Chief of Insight Magazine Paul Rodriguez, on assassinating (or is it executing?) President Clinton.


At Arlington National Cemetery there is a rather plain, unadorned square marker where an anonymous American is buried. It is famously named the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Who is that guy under that thing?  

  1. He could very well have contributed money to Democrats. Dig him up!

  2. He could, at one time, have committed adultery. Dig him up!

  3. He could have padded his resume. Dig him up!

  4. He may have been a pacifist! Dig him up!

  5. He may have supported affirmative action. Dig him up!

  6. He may even have been a liberal! Dig him up!  

It began on a Monday when the managing editor of Insight Magazine, Paul Rodriguez, leaked out his not-yet-published article to the conservative propaganda machine. G. Gordon Liddy ran with the story on a Tuesday, Rush picked it up on Thursday, and by Friday, America had witnessed the most intensive example of radio hate propaganda in American history.


Callers were purposely culled to only an endless stream of spitting-mad veterans screaming about how outraged they were that the abhorrent, loathsome, detestable, disgusting, and despicable Bill Clinton was selling Arlington National Cemetery plots for political donations. The ire of the callers included calls for impeachment, firing squads, tar and feathers, and lots of lock-and-loading.

On it went, nonstop for four days across the American airwaves. Rush never took so many callers a day. He let them slobber on, one right after another, until by Friday afternoon, even moderate Republican senators Arlen Specter and John McCain were humming along with the managed outrage.


But by Saturday, word was out that it was a big lie; and by Sunday, it was proved to be a big lie. Conservatives got caught red-handed shoveling shit. Was the media similarly outraged by the abhorrent, loathsome, detestable, disgusting, and despicable propaganda game conservatives played on them? Most certainly not! On Monday the media swept it aside by commenting that because Clinton is so dishonest and sleazy, that the story (true or false) was expected, easy to believe, and no harm was done. Liberal media bias, my ass!


Insight Magazine


Paul Rodriguez is the managing editor of Insight Magazine. It was he who personally wrote the article accusing the president of selling Arlington Cemetery plots for profit. This magazine is a spin-off of the Washington Times,which is owned by a Korean conservative religious cult leader, the Reverend Sun Myung Moon. From the magazine’s Web site we learn that Paul Rodriguez is the Managing Editor who describes his Moonie publication as:


A national weekly newsmagazine published in Washington, D.C., by The Washington Times Corporation. If you read a news story [by Insight], that’s it: You’re reading a balanced news story that is controlled by the facts. We’ll give you the facts and you can judge for yourself. Maybe that’s a bit unusual for a newsmagazine or, for that matter, any news organization. But that’s the commitment the professional newsmen and newswomen at Insight believe is the right way to do things. You’ll notice we don’t call ourselves journalists. The reason is as simple as why we report the news straight: We don’t like pretense. Our job is to gather the facts on a particular story, report those facts in context, and be balanced and accurate. That’s a craft, something journeyman “newsmen” do. Our motto is simple too: Report it first and report it accurately.


Not only is that perhaps the most absurd statement ever made by any publication in the history of the entire world, notice that not Fox News soon picked up on the balanced and the you decide crap they now present their propaganda under.


So the publication begins with a dozen big, fat, boldfaced lies, unequivocally proved for all to see right there on the very first page which contains their links. During the media blitz on his bogus article, Rodriguez made the rounds on political pundit shows and was presented as a respected journalist free of bias. He had smooth sailing for most of a week, but in one of his last interviews a caller asked him that since Insight is the number one Clinton-bashing weekly (American Spectator is a monthly) and claimed a balanced investigative prowess, would Mr. Rodriguez do an in-depth investigation of the Rev. Moon? Rodriguez said of course he would, but he won’t because no one is interested. This, during a time when one of the most prevalent conservative attacks are on Asians donating money to Democrats. Of course fascist Asian Right-wing religious cult leaders actually buying up America is of no interest to Americans. And damn if he isn’t right.


Larry Lawrence


Only days after the bogus Rodriguez article, it was shown that President Clinton had only requested Arlington waivers for four individuals, none of whom could be questioned even by the worst of the conservative propaganda machine. Secretary of the Army Togo West, held a press conference and ran through the 69 people he personally had waived. None of them could be questioned in regards to political contributions. So with the “liberal-biased media” digging in as hard as they could to get Clinton on this one, they finally came up with something. A State Department waiver request for Larry Lawrence was accepted by the apolitical Arlington Cemetery bureaucracy under the criteria that he was an ambassador who had died in office. Though that alone would have been enough, the combat wound he suffered in WW2 in the Merchant Marine pushed the waiver through without question. Note that Ronald Reagan personally asked for and got a waver for one of his ambassadors who had died in office but had no military service. Why hasn’t the media reported that? Why hasn’t he been dug up? Dig him up!


The original article from Rodriguez claimingthat the president was personally selling cemetery plots at Arlington to campaign donors was proved totally false within a week. Without apology, the conservative propaganda machine (with the help of the media) switched the story to the dead Democrat himself. Soon the story was that Mr. Lawrence had padded his resume and lied about his Merchant Marine service. His wife was forced to exhume and move his dead Democrat ass before Newt, Dick, and Tom donned their coveralls, grabbed shovels, and did it themselves.


There was no apology for the original bogus accusation against the president. The media vindicated Rodriguez and Insight, and everyone’s ratings went up and they made more money. Of course there was no mention of the abhorrent, loathsome, detestable, disgusting, despicable, and outrageous Ronald Reagan, who often did teary-eyed reminiscences of how he freed the concentration camps in Europe, when all he really did was make training films in California. Where’s that story? Dig him up!




   Why They Hate So Much


“A new item should be added to the observed pathologies of medical literature. Clinton Hate has become a form of mental disease, with Hillary Hate its most virulent form. Those who succumb to it live in an alternative universe, where common sense and the rules of evidence are held in abeyance.” Columnist Garry Wills

What is it about Clinton that makes conservatives hate him so much their hair bleeds?

  1. He beat both George the Father and Bob Dole, stealing the White House from the GOP, who thought they had a lock on it forever.

  2. He is a very intelligent, attractive, hot-blooded political salesman.

  3. He has an attractive, intelligent wife rather than one who does only what she is told.

  4. He has Southern credibility in regards to backing civil rights and affirmative action.

  5. He made an outreach to gay men and women.

  6. He advocates gun control and a woman’s right to choose.

  7. He represents revenge for Watergate and Iran-contra.

  8. He represents the excesses of the sixties; sex, drugs, and draft dodging.

Of all the reasons, that last one seems to be not only the one that sets them off the most, but also the only one on the list that is bogus. Just to mention one example out of thousands, the conservative hero Newt Gingrich has admitted to more pot smoking than Clinton, has had far more adulterous affairs, and actively dodged the draft while supporting the war.

Bill Clinton is certainly no leftist. Economically, he is little different from moderate Republicans. Neither has he been any more dishonest than any other politician, well, other than Jimmy Carter. [There you go, an honest born again Christian man who conservatives hated as much as they hate Bill Clinton.] What it seems to come down to is that green-eyed monster. Conservatives hate Bill Clinton because he is a winner, women find him attractive, he isn’t a bigot, and he is not afraid to try doing something about protecting the right of choice and the gungoonery awash in this country.