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Zombie Reagan Raised From Grave To Lead GOP, Shocking Obama Facts ONION

Zombie Reagan to Lead GOP Shocking Obama Comparison ONION

Republicans are panicked at the prospect of finding a candidate for 2016 who can compete with likely Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton!  This questionable video from The Onion Archives is as relevant today as it was in 2012. We present it in honor of Ronald Reagan’s birthday Feb. 7th: Republicans say they have found their fresh new face in the corpse of Ronald Reagan, recently back from the dead.”The Walking Dead” is a smash hit.  Combine zombies with real Republicans and party members feel they can’t lose – this time.

You may be revolted, and you may scoff, but one thing the zombie Reagan knows, that the GOP rank and file doesn’t is that they ‘need more brains!”   Comedian Lewis Black once suggested doing something similar, raising Reagan – in a sure-fire effort to convince terrorists that we’re too crazy to terrorize safely. It certainly sounded like a viable option when he said it.

On a more serious note, Republicans still invoke the name of Ronald Reagan when they talk of successful policies and good old ‘traditional family values.’ Sadly, many who site Reagan have no more knowledge of his policies than they do of the Founding Fathers whom they also claim for their own.

It’s wake-up time! In a piece for Daily KOS, SemDem compared Ronald Reagan with Barack Obama, the results are startling!

Head to head on such policies as taxes, the deficit, terrorism and amnesty for illegal immigrants Obama stomps Reagan to a surprising, and shocking degree.  Even on the controversial topic of abortion, Obama comes out looking good.

A special note for those who feel the Great American Gun Grab is imminent.
There is one area in which Obama rates badly…Gun Control,  which may be the most surprising revelation yet.
Reagan: Perhaps because he was shot while in office, he completely supported the Brady Bill for stricter gun control.
Obama: The Brady Center to Prevent Gun Violence flunked Obama on every single gun control issue. Obama proposed nothing for federal gun control laws when he had a super majority Democratic Congress.  When he had that Dem majority, in fact, federal gun rights EXPANDED by allowing guns on trains and in our national parks.  Yet oddly, the NRA still told their idiot members that Obama was coming to take their guns…. and gun sales skyrocketed.

Finally, SemDem weighs in on the much-touted topic of Family Values:
“I submit it was REAGAN who was the illegal amnesty-supporting, gun control loving, deficit spending, tax raising, terrorist coddling coward.  (As for support of “traditional family values”, Obama has a great relationship with his family–Reagan was the first divorced president and was estranged from his children.)”

Additional ‘love’ from SemDem:

Reagan created the modern plutocracy. He introduced us to the whole “take from the poor, give to the rich” supply-side economics that we still suffer today.  He turned compassion to the less fortunate to villianization…  created the mythical “welfare queen”, mocked AIDS patients, and let his fellow “Christians” know it was okay to belittle the homeless.

CEOs before Reagan made 78 times their minimum wage workers.  Today, its almost  3500 times!  Without Reagan, America might have had the same income distribution we had in the 1970s, which would mean we would be averaging $120,000 annually–not $40,000.

Reagan was the realization of Barry Goldwater’s failed dream that put the GOP on the path of crazytown where it is today.  He somehow managed to blend the selfish, plutocratic Ayn Randian economic philosophy with fundamental Christianity and wrap it all up into a cowboy, patriotic image that was as phony as this ranch.  Bottom line.  REAGAN WAS A BASTARD.