I Bought my Wife a Lexus for Christmason December 25, 2010 at 8:49 am
As you will recall, last Christmas after sitting in the den with my wife watching TV for the months leading up to the big day, I, like any good American husband could not brush off the onslaught of watching other good American men buying big African diamonds for their wives. Everytime one of those ads came on, I got that look. So I pulled the kids out of college and went down to my local Jewlery store and bought the biggest diamond they had.
I did indeed get laid that night – which seems to be the purpose of it all – and the kids seem happy working over at the Walmart selling lead covered toys and products that last almost 6 months or more to so many wise American consumers.
Though the diamond "you are a cheap creep if you don’t buy your wife a diamond" ads ran just as heavy this year, it was the "you are a cheap creep if you don’t buy your wife a Lexus" ad that generated the same looks this year.
So I went down to the Lexas dealer and found one the right color for only $63,000. I cut a good deal and paid nothing down. I only had to shell out $85 for the giant red bow. They had a lot of those giant red bows there. It all went even better than last year as this time I got laid with her wearing nothing but a giant red bow!
As an average Amerian with $6000 in credit card debt and $19.64 in the bank, come January 24th they will be coming to take the Lexus away. But I paid for the damn bow and will get to keep that anyway. So the plan is to have one last shot of giant red bow sex on the 23rd. Wish me luck and a very Merry Christmas to you too.