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Newt Gingrich – Philosopher Clown

Stupid Newt Gingrich Quotes

newt will kill you

“The most serious, systematic revolutionary of modern times.” Newt Gingrich on Newt Gingrich.

“We must expect the Soviet system to survive for a very long time. There will be Soviet labor camps and Soviet torture chambers well into our grandchildren’s lives.” Example of New Gingrich’s prophetic grasp of the future.

“Kill jobs and lead to a recession, force people off of work and onto unemployment and will actually increase the deficit.” Gingrich again waxing prophetic regarding President Clinton’s 1993 budget bill. Gosh, how wrong can a person be?” Newt Gingrich

“Public Broadcasting is a sandbox for the rich. The NEA and the HEH are simply enclaves of the left using your money to propagandize your children against your values.” Newt Gingrich

“They still don’t realize that the appropriation is gone, that the game is over. The power of the Speaker is the power of recognition, and I will not recognize any proposal that will appropriate money for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. What they should be doing is planning for the future.” Newt Gingrich

“In Washington DC 800 babies are left in dumpsters a year.” Newt Gingrich with a very big lie. It was not 800, it was four. But considering his views on abortion and welfare he may just help his lie come true.” Newt Gingrich

“Put your baby in a dumpster, that’s Okay.” Newt Gingrich explaining what liberals want when he was questioned about his plan to initiate 19th Century orphanages.” Newt Gingrich

“Most People don’t realize it’s illegal to pray in school, most people somehow think that’s not true.” Newt Gingrich with another flat out lie. Praying is allowed in public schools as long as it is not lead by government employees or so loud as to disrupt the education of others.” Newt Gingrich

“Up to 25% of the White House, when they first came in, had used drugs within the past 4 or 5 years.” Newt Gingrich just making stuff up.

“On Inauguration Day, they’re breaking the law and doing drugs. Two days later, they’re in the White House. This must be the most disciplined set of addicts in the world…” Poor loser Newt Gingrich making stuff up four years later regarding the Clinton Administration.

“The Federal government made a Danish heart pump illegal that was used in ambulances that kept 54% of people alive who would otherwise now be dead.” Newt Gingrich with another flat out lie to further demonize the government. Official tests of the pump proved it to be of absolutely no benefit whatsoever.

“Give the park police more ammo.” Newt Gingrich response to a reporter who asked what to do about the homeless a few days after the police shot a homeless man in front of the White House.

“The problem isn’t too little money in political campaigns, but not enough.” Newt Gingrich on campaign reform.

“Somehow on the left… you can do anything you want and nobody seems to notice. But if you are a conservative and… you make a single mistake you better plan to be pilloried.” Newt Gingrich making the most hypocritical statement since Bill Clinton became President.

“If you sell them (drugs), we will kill you.” Newt Gingrich

“Thug!” Gingrich on Speaker of the House Tip O’Neil.

“Nuts… A drug addict.” Newt Gingrich on Kitty Dukakis.

“The Clintons are counterculture McGovernicks.” Newt Gingrich on yuppie lawyers Bill and Hillary Clinton.

“I have enormous personal ambition. I want to shift the entire planet. And I’m doing it. I am now a famous person. I represent real power.” Newt Gingrich

“Gingrich – Primary mission, Advocate of civilization, Definer of civilization, Teacher of the rules of civilization, Leader of the civilizing forces.” Newt Gingrich on Newt Gingrich.

Toot From Noot

Morality no longer concerns matters of love, sharing, compassion, fairness, justice or tolerance, it now mostly concerns boobs on TV and denying queers pursuit of happiness.

Newt Gingrich, who works for Fox News, appeared on their Sunday morning show to push his new book, Winning the Future: A 21st Century Contract With America. In interviews asking why his book tour took him to Iowa and New Hampshire, Gingrich said he was not ruling out a Presidential run in 2008. Rather than the ten points of the 1994 Contract on America, this book whittles it down to just five:

1) Winning the War on Terror with whatever it takes.

2) Changing the tax code to better benefit corporations and the wealthy.

3) Privatization of Social Security.

4) Using vouchers to put our public education into the hands of David Duke, Pat Robertson and the Pope.

5) Removal of all federal judges who do not understand this nation was founded upon God.

All run of the mill conservative crap to be sure, but listening to him pontificate on that last one caused my airbag to go off. He made no bones about it, the President should forcibly remove all Federal judges who refuse to acknowledge that God the Creator is the centerpiece of our nation and our constitution. So, just like that, out goes separation of church and state by Presidential decree. Boy do Newt and company have this nation by the short and curlies.

Word came today in the Fall of 2006, that Newt was running third in the polls for President in 2008 behind Giuliani and McCain.

Georgia Peach of Shit

“Thirty years of hedonism, liberals have driven god out of the public forum, and it is time we put him back in.” Newt Gingrich.

I came across an old Gingrich campaign ad on the net the other day. Newt won election to the House in 1978 running against Virginia Shapard, a married mother of two. His ad ran,

“Newt will take his family to Washington and keep them together; Virginia will go to Washington and leave her husband and children in the care of a nanny!”

What did Newt do a few months later after he had won? He did not take his family to Washington, rather, he surprised his wife with divorce papers while she was in the hospital recovering from a cancer operation, and did not support her or his children with a nanny or any damn thing. In fact, his church had to support his family while he was busy porking bimbos inside the Beltway. All while he ran his political campaigns on the theme of family values. Newt Gingrich is a peach of human crap.

Cult of Personality

“With continuous real-time, global television coverage, and the U.S. the sole superpower, a president who knows how to use the media is, in fact, President of the World.” Newt Gingrich entering the Presidential primaries.

Though Mr. Gingrich’s body is growing fatter and his head bigger than that gigantic turd laying submerged off the coast of New York goes without saying, but sadly for the country, this arrogant slug of a man has consolidated more power as Speaker of the House than any other in American history.

To get a good grasp of his Newtonian conservative hypocrisy, his very first act as Speaker was to reduce all House members’ staffs by a third while substantially increasing the funding and staffing of his own. He then abandoned the seniority system replacing it with his own procedure of personal appointment of chairmanships to only those who towed his line absolutely. Remember too, that while he cried about too many committees (eliminating scores of them) he created 35 more of his own which were wholly based upon conservative political ideology and accountable only to him personally. This guy really is right out of that Hitlerian cult of personality.

Christmas Extortion – Government Shutdown

“Gingrich explained that to do what he wanted, government first had to be completely discredited – ethically, programmatically, managerially, philosophically. While that process was under way, it was better not to have control of the presidency. Once Washington-based government was totally discredited, hard-right conservatives could then sweep to power which would only take four years.” Richard Darman, budget guru for both Reagan and Bush.

The King Grinch, mad as a hatter because he was told to leave Air Force One by the same rear exit as the seamy and secondary Senator Dole (protocol is only the President, his family and foreign Presidents go out the front door). He admitted it was the defining factor in his decision to screw millions of Americans by shutting down the government and then placing the blame on the President.

Newt’s head is so big one wonders if he drags it behind him or kicks it ahead of him as he goes. Hell, instead of using his name to sell bad fiction to Right-wing publishers, he could amass even more wealth in office by just spray-painting GOODYEAR on either side of his head and take the going rate.

The first week of December 1995, the 104th Reich voted to send 800,000 federal employees home for a week. Then the week before Christmas, they did it again for three weeks. That bill comes to over $1 billion in your tax dollars, squandered on Gingrich’s ego. The Republicans spent more on being a wholes than last year’s combined budget for public radio, public television, the NEA and Americorp.

This is not about balancing the budget, clearly, this is Gingrich and his freshman disciples extorting the President and the federal government to get themselves a $250 billion tax cut for the top income earners in America. Television with its pictures often tells us things the written word misses. TV news concerning both shutdowns showed something hard to miss, the unspoken key to this intense hatred conservatives have heaped upon what they kindly call, bureaucrats. The faces coming out the doors with their pink slips and ruined Christmas were predominately black, brown and female. But the most serious question that comes to my mind is what in the Hell was Clinton thinking letting that nasty little crap on his plane in the first place?

Gingrich Blown

News sources in Atlanta say that word was being spread to Olympic athletes and attendees that oral sex is a felony in the State of Georgia. So Newt Gingrich has committed numerous felonies. Why has this not been investigated?

Recently came forward one of the many former squeezes of the Noot Patootie. Anne Manning called the Lord Speaker “morally dishonest” concerning their affair during his first marriage in the late 70’s. “We had oral sex. He prefers that modus operandi because then he can say, ‘I never slept with her,’” she added that Gingrich told her, “If you ever tell anyone about this (getting a BJ in his car while waiting to pick up his kids from an elementary school), I’ll say you’re lying.”

Gingrich implied that the woman’s claim that they had an affair when both were married 19 years ago was the work of anti welfare-reform liberals.

“I knew when we started down this road… if we’re going to have a revolution to replace the welfare state, we better expect those people who love it to throw the kitchen sink at us.”

Gosh, Gingrich has been throwing not only the kitchen sink, but the dishwasher, the washer/dryer, the stove, the furnace, the bathtub, the furniture, and the slab at not only the President and his wife in like manner since he took office, but anyone who got in his way over the past twenty years. He is the king of bomb throwing. But one does have to give him credit for having the balls to make such a hypocritical claim. Seems his balls are as big as his head.

Vanity Fair, the magazine that published this expose is now defined as a muckraking incredible source of liberal bias lies, while on the other hand, those making the same kind of claims through The American Spectator – which broke the Paula Jones story – is a credible source of unbiased truth and should be believed. It seems women, not tuned to giraffe hunting, are the problem for Gingrich. Professionals like Hillary Clinton, Anne Manning and Anita Hill are incredible lying bimbos, while Jennifer Flowers and Paula Jones are upstanding credible ladies. I guess its how the mind of the Right works when it works at all.

Real American Role Models

“Newt Gingrich is a draft-dodging, dope-smoking, wife-divorcing, deadbeat-dad, which I assure you, meets all the standards of accuracy set by Rush Limbaugh.” Molly Ivins.

There is no doubt who the two most powerful men in America were in 1995. Sadly, it was the ethically challenged Mr. Gingrich and the flatulent propagandist Mr. Limbaugh. Bill Clinton was been reduced to the most powerful man in The World, which no real America gives a hoot in Hell about.

Gingrich not only made Time man of the year but his pal Rush Limbaugh was rated as the eighth most respected man in the World. Which of course Rush let us all know every day for months on end. What self-proclaimed patriotic Christian Family values guys they are too. Both actively sought deferments from going to a war they promoted. Both divorced twice. Family man Rush who has no children, Newt with children he refused to support when he went off to Washington as a freshman congressman to attack Democrats on issues of family values. And both getting filthy rich from their hypocrisy, their hate rhetoric, and their main concern, hurting those already hurting the most to the benefit of the wealthiest. Real American role models.

In a Frontline report on Gingrich, I found only two new points of interest. When he went out for football in high school, the equipment manager could not find a helmet big enough for his over sized head in town or in the conference or in the entire state of Pennsylvania! They finally found one in Illinois. Secondly was a telling quote by one of his 1976 campaign managers regarding his sexcapades with campaign workers while he was married,

“I didn’t say anything at the time because there were just so many of them and I didn’t think any of it serious.”

Memo To the Speaker

“Gingrich is like an arsonist who torches the building without supposing that the flames could consume his own bedroom.” Prophetic Jim Wright after Newt did him in circa 1989.

I recently listened to your speech to an assembly of Governors. You spat out two short phrases repeatedly. “WE WILL NOT TOLERATE… ENDOWED BY GOD… WE WILL NOT TOLERATE… ENDOWED BY GOD… WE WILL NOT TOLERATE…”

What is this “God” crap Newt? Have you been endowed by Jesus Christ to cause as much grief as you can dish out to as many women, children, elderly, homeless and jobless as you and he can get your hands on? Newt, you are proof there is no God, for if there were, you would have become a little pile of ashes on the ground long ago. In particular what’s with this intolerance business? You specifically connect it to drug use and welfare? We already have the most draconian drug laws and pay out less in welfare than anywhere in the industrialized world.

This takes me back to your Labor Day 1995 comment when you were promoting executing up to 35 drug dealers all at once. Are you and your friend Jesus now America’s voice for mass executions, you evil little weasel.

But the meat of your speech concerned a horrific crime in Illinois. A Black female nurse cut open a White woman to steal her Black baby and then killed her two other children. This of course you blamed upon liberals, welfare, the drug culture, situational ethics, TV talk shows, Democrats and Lyndon Johnson for Christ sake! The spurious flaw in this example of your Newtonian illogic is that it seems the victim, not the perpetrator was on welfare and drugs. I wonder if you will stay true to form and also blame the liberal Victorian Monarchy of England for Jack the Ripper, blame the Holocaust on the Nazi welfare state, or tell us that becoming a paid Republican activist as Ted Bundy did leads one to become a serial murderer?

One would think you would have learned a lesson when last year you laid the blame for Susan Smith killing her children at the feet of Liberal Democrats. A few days after the act it was found that her stepfather; a God-fearing, conservative Republican member of the Christian Coalition had been porking Susan from the time she was seventeen right up to the week she went off her rocker. And even that aside, I want to know what happened to the very public face of the conservative theology? If individuals are responsible for their our actions, then what the Hell are you yapping about?

Your pal, Rack Jite

Hell’s Bells

“It [the Clinton administration] is guilty of the most systematic, deliberate obstruction of justice, cover-up, and effort to avoid the truth we have ever seen in American history.” A flat-out lie by Newt Gingrich

“It [the Clinton administration] has suffered the longest, most systematic, deliberate, expensive, intensive, bogus vindictive political investigation of any administration in American history.” The absolute truth by Rack Jite

In a breakfast speech at some international Right-wing symposium breakfast Gingrich explained his views. He claimed the biggest deterrents to his revolution were the media elite and the academic elite. He became extremely repetitive with it. Both entities he explained, were not only The Enemy to Newt and his revolution in progress, but were in fact the greatest enemies of the average American, responsible for suppressing the truth. Do those two groups perched on top of Gingrich’s enemies list ring any bells? With a pillow over each ear, even the dimmest bulb in the GOP can hear that bell from Hell clang. Stalin! Hitler! Mao! Gang of Four! The enemies of freedom and liberty are now as they have been time memorable, the writers and the educators.

Cobb County Georgia, Where Arrogance Knows no Bounds

John Linder (R-GA) had a very boring job on the House floor during the 1996 election campaign. He sat at the table on the right side of the isle each day and as soon as anyone uses the words Gingrich and ethics in the same sentence, he would wake from his stupor, jump to his feet to cry “Point of order!” The Speaker of the day would then silence the Democrat who had the gall to use such words in tandem upon the Floor of the House. This went on every day while Gingrich was Speaker.

First, let us be clear about Gingrich’s ethics problems. Newt was found guilty of using money donated to tax exempt foundations – for the benefit of poor children – to advance his political agenda and career. A perfect ten on the sleaze factor scale.

Newt came out from under his rock to defend himself by making speeches at what were called by the media, Town Hall Meetings. They were nothing of the sort. They were conservative political rallies arranged by Gingrich and stacked with his supporters, which was proved time and again by the raucous standing ovations presented as he entered the various televised halls. And the foot stomping applause he received every time he spat out the word liberal in some demeaning context.

He admitted to naiveté, yeah, Newt’s about as naïve as Madonna. Then he blamed it all on his lawyers, the liberal media, the Atlanta Constitution, political correctness, and the press inside the Washington Beltway. That liberal biased media who he says are quick to punish conservatives, but allow Liberals and Democrats off for far worse, at the very same time he and the press pile on the President and First Lady as hard as ever done in American history.

GOPAC, Newt’s Grand Old Party Action Committee was running out of money funding his cable TV course, Renewing American Civilization. The course, 40 hours of partisan Republican politics which Gingrich himself bragged was designed to enlist voters into the GOP to take congress from the Democrats (who have destroyed America), was hooked to cable television through two colleges. So word went out to Republican donors that rather than give their money directly to GOPAC – which they could not deduct from taxes – they could make tax deductible contributions to two tax exempt 501c (3) organizations, the Abraham Lincoln Foundation and the Progress and Freedom Foundation (the tax exempt umbrella foundation of Kennesaw and Reinhardt Colleges). They did so to the tune of $1.6 million. Here an interesting question arises. Where lies the lowest moral degradation? Using Abraham Lincoln’s name to get contributions for sleeping in his room? Or using Abraham Lincoln’s name to get political money under the false pretense of using it to help black inner city children? Here is a list of what his Republican stacked Ethics Committee found:

· It found Gingrich violated a rule prohibiting use of official resources for unofficial purposes when he let a political adviser, Joseph Gaylord, use his congressional office. The Committee recommended no punishment.

· It found Gingrich misused his floor privileges in House speeches by giving out a toll-free number to order partisan political materials. The Committee recommended no punishment.

· It found Gingrich used floor speeches to publicize a nationwide town meeting sponsored by his partisan organization, GOPAC. The committee recommended no punishment.

· It found Gingrich violated House rules when he let Donald Jones, a telecommunications entrepreneur use his congressional office for lobbying purposes. The committee recommended no punishment.

· It found Gingrich lied to the committee both verbally and in signed documents on thirteen separate occasions. The committee recommended he plea bargain.

Any single one of those crimes is more serious than any hummer ever given by anyone at anytime, or lying about it. Realizing he had to plead guilty to something to give his Ethics Committee credibility, Gingrich kept the committee from going public until after the new election for Speaker of the House. He told the committee that after elected; he would not politically organize the GOP leadership against their findings as part of the bargain. The next day a couple of senior citizens in Florida happened upon a cell phone conversation (which they taped) of the GOP leadership politically organizing against the committee’s findings.

It all ends with a letter of reprimand and a $300,000 fine (which wealthy conservatives were standing in line twenty deep to pay) and the GOP leadership; namely Armey and DeLay claiming of all things, that Newt’s college GOPAC course was not partisan and is only guilty of a minimal lapse of judgment.

The media spin? The old couple were thrown in jail for happening upon that cell phone conversation and taping it. Following the conservative spin calling to throw the congressman who leaked the tape to the press out of office, and the call to fine any Democrat who brought charges against Gingrich which did not stick. Wow.

Newt on The Dole

“I’ve had it with this guy!” Newt Gingrich about Senate Presidential candidate Bob Dole who said he wanted to negotiate the $245 billion tax cut with the Democrats, before Newt accepted a $300,000 loan from him.

Getting a $300,000 loan from Senator Dole to pay his ethics fine brought Gingrich from his woes back on track. Soon after, with head bent in prayer (only during public appearances), he argued to cut the tax rates for the wealthy (to balance the budget), to eliminate capital gains and inheritance taxes on the wealthy (to balance the budget), and the elimination of the National Endowment for the Arts, not to balance the budget, but because art is liberal and all things liberal must be destroyed.

He also got back to his old bomb throwing when he tried to extort the Attorney General. He told Janet Reno that if she did not assign a special prosecutor to investigate only DNC fund-raising he would have her investigated. When she stood firm against that threat he compared her to John Mitchell. Even conservative pundits called that an unwarranted and stupid attack. But it is that very kind of thing that got him the votes he needs to be elected in his home district, Cracker County, Georgia.

Newt now contends that the $300,000 was not a fine but a negative reimbursement. And that he intends to deduct the entire $300,000 from his taxes, meaning that he probably won’t have to pay any taxes at all. A kiss is just a kiss, but a cut is not a cut and a fine is not a fine.


You don’t think the House side of the 104th Reich was out of touch? They easily passed legislation to allow corporations to milk the pension funds from their employees. The Senate voted against it 94 to 5.

Towards the final days of the 1996 election, Gingrich moved from his previous serious issue of beach volley ball’s relation to conservative economic values. He crisscrossed America carrying an old ice bucket (why he didn’t poke a couple eye holes in it and wear it over his head I don’t know) to go on and on about how he and the 104th Reich saved the taxpayers $0.00000005 each by no longer delivering ice to congressional offices. But come to think of it, that’s about the only thing he accomplished that wasn’t a kick in the head to most of us.

Gingrich Out of Touch

Polls show that though Gingrich is two points more popular than Fidel Castro and less popular than the IRS.

When out campaigning The Noot Patootie said the question of the legalization of drugs should be discussed and put on a national ballot. Though he is one of the central purveyors of longer sentences, mandatory sentences, no parole, mass executions and for an all out win with the War on Drugs, he just thinks the dialog and a ballot initiative will prove him right. Surgeon General Joeclyn Elders was doing this exact same thing when she said we should discuss legalizing drugs. So why hasn’t congress called him “out of touch” and have him relieved from his position? Well other than him being a white, male wealthy Republican.