Earlier this week, a high-ranking Chinese Navy admiral threatened a possible war with the US, and John Oliver believes Grammy winning saxophonist Kenny G may be our only hope.
It pains me to say so, but John may be right about this. Our Navy got too close to China’s man-made islands, prompting a tense video conference between their top admiral and ours. In short, we were told to back off or “There could be a serious incident – or even a war!” A war with China is unthinkable – where would our ‘stuff’ come from?
What they don’t know at the Pentagon is a lot. This just bolsters my theory that comedians should sit in on the proceedings, and send the brass out for Starbucks. This is truly brilliant. We can use China’s own brainwashing to our advantage. Every day, Kenny G’s ‘Going Home’ is piped into shopping malls, schools, train stations and fitness centers as a signal…That it is time…To go home. I suppose any song played at the pivotal time would work the same way. The Clash’s “Should I Stay or Should I Go” might have the same effect, played day after day.
So – instead of warships, we need big speakers. When the people of China – including the military, hear the smooth sounds of Kenny G, they will turn toward home, and relaxation!
As John says, “Kenny G is as smooth as a mink coat in a bathtub full of lube.” Our best defense may be ‘smooth jazz’ as it’s called in polite company. Watch as Kenny G performs the song that mellows out so many Chinese folks, and John raps the subliminal message of peace.