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The Onion Review: The Hobbit the Desolation of Smaug

onion hobbit reviewPlease, put away your excitement over the new fantasy epic The Kingdoms of Toranda by Peter K. Rosenthal and let’s get back to the second movie in the Hobbit trilogy, The Desolation of Smaug.

The first movie in this Hobbit trilogy was a disappointment for many. It began with the slowest start of any movie ever made. The flaw seemed to be Peter Jackson trying to introduce 14 characters rather than a handful. For that movie I opted for the 3D version and was very disappointed. Though not specific to that movie, the failure of 3D in all movies is that it fouls up both your eyes and your brain when things on the screen get moving fast.

As serendipity would have it, I went to the Hobbit 2 the other day and opted for no 3D. The beginning previews found the projector causing a mess on the screen for most of a half hour. It was so annoying that someone in the audience began chanting ATTICA ATTICA ATTICA. Hey don’t look at me! Well okay it was me.

Finally a young lady came down front and said the movie is just beginning in theater #10 and we are welcome to go there. We were herded over to see that theater #10 is the expensive HI DEF 3D theater that costs an arm and leg. BTW it looks like an IMAX theater, the screen is big and tall and you can see all the pours on Bilbo’s face, the bags and wrinkles on Gandalf’s face and the dental work on the orcs.

This second movie in the trilogy was great, so much so it made the first one seem a mistake. And no need to suffer through the first to enjoy the second.

But the larger issue is that the high definition of 48 frames per second fixed the 3D problem of not being able to keep up with fast movement on the screen. It worked! Wonderfully. It was the best tech experience I ever had. It also had a few laughs which I always enjoy between mass decapitations.