Parade Magazine – you know that simple minded wad of newsprint tucked near the entertainment pages of your Sunday paper – has the highest circulation of any magazine in America with 70 million readers. On this weeks first page, called Personality Parade, a reader asks columnist Walter Scott if there are any Celebrity Conservatives. Mr Scott gives us a list.
Ted Nugent, Sara Evans, John Rich, John Elway, Curt Schilling, Robert Duvall, Kelsey Grammer, Angie Haramon, Patricia Heaton, Jon Voight, Jamine Tuner, Gary Sinise and of course Arnold.
Not recognizing most of those names causes me trouble in what defines "celebrity". I thought it meant someone everyone has heard of. So I believe that list needs adjusting.
First off lets remove the flash in the pans: Sara Evans, John Rich, Curt Schilling, Angie Haramon, Patricia Heaton, Jamine Tuner and Gary Sinise. I also think the Governor of California is a too moderate to be included.
Just off the top of my head I can think of two more to add, Mary Tyler Moore and Drew Carey.
So using the Parade’s Personality Page as the starting point, the short list would be Ted Nugent, John Elway, Robert Duvall, Kelsey Grammer, Jon Voight, Mary Tyler Moore and Drew Carey.
I enjoy the list because it puts John Elway, Robert Duvall, Kelsey Grammer, Jon Voight, Mary Tyler Moore and Drew Carey on equal footing with Ted Nugent.
I like to imagine Ted inviting them all to his new ranch down here in Texas to enjoy machine gunning penned up animals he buys. Well to be honest, he also kills these animals he buys and releases with compound bows, crossbows, .50 caliber rifles and .44 magnum hand guns. Ted strives to be fair.
A couple years ago Ted Nugent moved down here to Texas from Michigan where it seems his welcome was wearing thin. He bought a ranch near Crawford, Texas to be near his idol, George W. Bush. The President recently sold his Crawford ranch and no longer goes there. Perhaps because even someone as obtuse as George W doesn’t want to be living anywhere near a crazyass racist moron armed with a high powered machine gun (yes he has a license).
Ted Nugent was tossed out of San Antonio several years back for wrapping himself in an American flag and telling all the "Spics" to get their asses back to Mexico. He also refers to African Americans as "Apes". His greatest enjoyment in life is killing animals, most of which he buys and pens up and then uses machine guns on. He brags about killing neighbor’s pet dogs and cats and is our nations’ loudest voice perpetuating assault rifles, handguns and our violent gun culture.
With an IQ never breaking out of single digits he also enjoys sharing the bottom teir of Right-wing radio talk show hosts with Michael Savage and Michael Reagan. To get an idea of just how stupid Ted Nugent is, read this review on his Book God, Guns and Rock & Roll.
Oh, and for your enjoyment here is Ted in Concert telling Governor Schwarzenegger, Senator Barbra Boxer, Senator Barack Obama (who he calls a piece of shit) and Senator Hillary Clinton to shove the machine gun he is waving around into their mouths and pull the trigger.