Funny or Die knows that family dinner during the holidays is what it’s all about, right folks? The table is groaning with goodies, lights are twinkling, and the conversation is flowing. Suddenly the warm chatter brakes screeching halt, and takes an unforeseen turn! Someone has mentioned WEED! We’ve all heard the DARE lectures, and seen the videos in school. In the films, an unwary kid -like you, takes just one toke. In the next frame he’s been inexplicably dropped into an alley with a needle and a spoon. His life is in the crapper, his mother’s heart is breaking and it’s all because of the devil weed! The DARE program supports the families of many law enforcement officers, who don’t mind lecturing kids instead of catching bullets.
Unfortunately, our nearest and dearest often have zero discernment or perspective on this issue. They believe the DARE gospel…And feel obligated to quote it to all present, chapter and verse. As the wine and mixed drinks flow, and tongues are loosed, there is no stopping the diatribe on the evil weed, unless – you’re very clever.
The only way out gracefully, is to change the conversation to a topic that will grab their rapt attention. I suggest you tuck a tasty nugget of interest in the back of your mind for just such an occasion…Because lacking that, you may have to pretend to commit sepaku to divert them – or announce that you’re gay, whatever works for your crowd. Just stay away from politics, whatever you do!