I mentioned my concern for Houston Chronicle Metro columnist Rick Casey a few days ago. His Thanksgiving article in defense of illegal immigration caused me to not include a picture of Mr. Casey which could make it easier for God Fearing Gun Clinging Texans to find out where he lives. Illegal Immigrants: Sam Houston, Jim Bowie, Davey Crockett and William Travis
I also now purposely neglect to print the photo of Houston Chronicle Metro columnist Lisa Falkenberg for the same reason. Falkenberg has often ignited the Lock & Load synapses in the brains of the Texas Republican Base concerning not only immigration but Texas Hillbilly behavior in general. Her Thanksgiving column was exceptionally harsh which gave me cause to worry for her survival. Here are the first few words of her column Gravy boat is half full for Republicans:
Buck up, Republicans. No crying in the cranberry sauce.
You’ve had a full plate of disappointments lately. The banishment of nearly all Harris County GOP judges for the color of their campaign buttons. The landslide election of a closeted Che Guevara with an equally funny name. The tearful return of your favorite pit bull in lipstick to her old Putin-lookout perch in Alaska.
It’s enough to make you want to cling tighter to your gun and grow increasingly bitter.
Just the thought of those blissful liberals, delirious, arugula-eating, Obama T-shirt-wearing hopeaholics, dancing their yes-we can-can in the streets, feet barely touching the ground, even without their daily dose of Starbucks — must be hard to stomach.
But hold on, pilgrims. Here’s a bounty of thankful thoughts to aid your digestion. I asked local Republicans what they had to be grateful for this Thanksgiving Day, and they came up with political blessings aplenty.
“We are thankful for Gov. Rick Perry’s hair,” responded David Benzion,
I did notice she took care to remove the word “religion” from the infamous “clinging quote” by Barack Obama. Leaving the word in could have not only cost her life, but her job at the Houston Chronicle as well. Our most popular quote down here in Dumbutt, DONT MESS WITH TEXAS, is not just about litter, it also includes Jesus.