The recent Miss America Pageant prompts John Oliver – with Kathy Griffin, to stage the First Annual ‘This Week Tonight Pageant.’ First – I think John speaks for most of us when he alludes to ‘Miss America’ asking ‘How in the (bleep) is this still a ‘thing?’
Any illusion that the pageant is based upon mere physicality is clearly belied by the Q&A section where contestants anualyze and answer serious world problems – within 20 seconds, Of course they are clad in evening gowns or bathing suits. However, we’ve come a long way baby! A clip from early pageant days shows judges openly awarding points for a shapely head, torso and presumably a set of gams! It’s a lot like judging conformation at a horse show.
Things have changed so much! Now that Birther Donald Trump owns the contest, it’s about scholarships, smaller bathing suits and tax free status. John found out that the pageant’s claim to be “The world’s largest scholarship provider to women” falls a little short. Zillionaire Birther Donald Trump – who could use some ‘butt glue’ under that thing on his head, is not in this for charitable reasons. <gasp!> The pageant claims to provide $45 million in scholarships. In reality, there is a bit of a shortfall. Trump’s scholarship program provided approximately $500 thousand. Oddly, their tax status reflect the higher figure.
Kathy Griffin has no problem with the bathing suit competition as a requirement for earning a scholarship – as long as men are subject to the same demeaning process. Enter Giuseppe. The shirtless men’s model competes against witty, smart host John Oliver. While John obviously outshines the shirtless one, Guiseppe wins the tiara. Summing up outsider Giuseppe’s win, Kathy is frank, and admits ” I look at Guiseppe and I want to have sex with him.” Griffin continues, ” I look at you (Oliver) and I want to have sex with Giuseppe.” She hasn’t even seen his talent competition or bathing suit segment! I’ll bet he can spin plates while peddling a unicycle and outlining a sensible plan to defeat ISIS! What that? He doesn’t really need to, does he.