After 17 years as the weirdest kid on the international block, we look back at Kim Jong Il, first with a musical and dance tribute that’s sure to entertain and cause you to get up and shake a tail feather. Next is a list of accomplishments you may be surprised to learn! More detail is available on the Oddness of Kim. First the highlights.
1. He is born. Legend claims his birth was foretold by a swallow and the appearance of a double rainbow, along with the birth of a new star! He then spread the myth among his subjects that his mood could control the weather.
2. Kim was ‘The World’s Greatest Golfer!’ A government handout marking his 62nd birthday, informed Koreans that Kim celebrated by demolishing a par 72 course in just 34 strokes, managing a world record five holes-in-one on the way. Oh, did we mention, he did this the very first time he had picked up a club?
3. Kim employed kitchen staff to make sure grains of rice served to him were absolutely uniform in size and color. I know it throws my appetite completely off when they aren’t uniform.
4. Kim Jong Il – a great film buff was frustrated by the lack of first rate movie makers in his own country. He famously kidnapped two South Koran directors in 1978. They tried to escape, but won their freedom only after making a string of movies for him including the cult Godzilla rip-off Pulgasari.
5. Kim quit smoking in 2007 under doctor’s orders. He then decreed a national ban outlawing ciggies for everyone.
6. Of Silver Chopsticks and not defecating. According to a Russian emissary who traveled with Mr Kim by train across Eastern Europe, Kim (ever mindful of the starving hordes at home) had live lobsters air-lifted to the train every day, which he ate with silver chopsticks. Where did all his food go? An official biography on the North Korean state website declared Kim Jong Il did not defecate. The obvious joke is entirely too simple minded.
7. Opiate dependence loves company. After an accident, Kim was prescribed painkillers. Fearful of becoming addicted, he ordered a half-dozen of his closest staff to receive the same injection under the logic that if he became dependent, he wouldn’t be the only one.
8. Kim was not concerned about addiction to alcohol, oddly enough. He was one of Hennessey’s single biggest customers, importing £350,000 worth of the cognac every year. Embargoes only worked when cognac was in peril.
11. In 2004 he invented the hamburger! He received far too little credit for this in my opinion.
12. One of his unofficial titles was The Central Brain.
13. He once wrote six operas in two years.
14. He has collected more than 20,000 foreign films – with his favorites including Rambo and Friday 13th.
15. He was a keen roller-blader.
16. During a 2001 visit to Moscow by rail he had roast donkey flown to his train every day. Oh NO.
17. In the 1950s he built an entire city called Kijong-Dong that was designed only for propaganda. To this day it has no residents.
Sounds pretty much like a Gingrich or Trump Presidency. But certainly not as nutty as a Ron Paul Presidency! Heroin with your raw milk to help combat with the poison in your tooth paste and of course no stop signs… This is America, stopping is not part of our culture.