Samantha Bee pulls down her pants, puts on a mask and joins a sex orgy in Davos with the richest people in the world. As none of the attendees were 19, there was no pot smoking or drag racing.
Heard this one this morning, you can fill in the name yourself, but in this case it applies to the Koch Brothers and Donald Trump.
How I became rich! I bought 5 apples for two cents each and sold them for five cents each. I took the 25 cents and bought 12 more apples at a discount of once cent each and sold them for 10 cents each, then my father died and left me $300 million dollars.