America has been longing for, and needing a place where we can order guns in the wee hours, without putting on pants or going outside – and in answer to our prayers, GUN-TV has landed and Samantha Bee reports! Sam says of the channel, “It’s like QVC for devices specifically manufactured to kill people.” Gosh, that description sounds so unfriendly, when the TV channel isn’t about killin’ at all! They just blow up a lot of watermelons and cans, while demonstrating the pretty colors of the guns on sale.
The channel uses the same ‘just us girls’ patter that convinces many women they need a vast collection of jewelry or ‘designer’ stretch pants in six colors. Lest you feel that late night TV gun sales are irresponsible, the phrase ‘social responsibility network’ is repeated like a mantra at timed intervals. Did I mention that hunky, faux cowboy-type men stop by to lend credibility to the proceedings and teach the women folk a few things? I think I see a Big Gun calendar and posters coming just in time for Christmas! Let’s hope the holster-bra, holster-handbags and stroller-holsters are up by then too!
I don’t claim to know why Americans feel so unsafe that some need an army of weapons surrounding them, but the promoters and gun sellers don’t care. A promotional video on their site states; “The gun sales environment in America is fertile, and the Gun TV 24-hour direct sales network is poised to capitalize on that opportunity.”