Former Minnesota governor and pro wrestler Jesse Ventura weighs in on his 2016 presidential aspirations, and manages to clarify nothing…But we love him! Funny or Die asks ‘Can we hope for a president like Jesse Ventura? It turns out that nobody knows, certainly not Jesse, but we could, and have done a lot worse!
If you’re looking for credentials the other candidates don’t have – Jessie’s got ’em. I’ll bet you thought I was going to list creds like former Navy Seal and an authentic identification with the average American. Maybe. Okay how about an unhealthy obsession with conspiracy theories? Another plus. But here’s the kicker. Jesse was not only mayor of Brooklyn Park, Minnesota, but he went on to be the governor of Minnesota…Not such a big deal until you add ‘Full term governor’ an a-hem, rarity in popular politics these days, Sister Sarah. If you saw what Ventura did to the New World Order – while swathed in spandex, you know that Shirtless-Putin and his Horse don’t stand a chance against the manic man from Minnesota.
The sad fact is we can never meet the unreasonable criteria that mad-cap ‘Jesse’ wants in this off-the-wall parody…Get a look at these impossible demands.
1. He needs a grass-works movement.
2. Access to debates.
3. He wants enforcement of fair campaign finance laws.
Oh, c’mon! That’s just more crazy talk, Jesse Ventura!