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Kyla Ebbert, Lucy and Fatso

kyla ebbert Which would I throw off a plane? Well let’s just say fatso and the monkey better have parachutes.


New! Playboy picture of Kyla Ebbert

The News Story is about “Keith” – a Southwest Airlines fashion cop – who deplaned Kyla Ebbert then harassed her for having large breasts and wearing a mini-skirt with high heels. Who is this “Keith” anyway? I bet he’s in some hot water. And a dollar to a doughnut he’s from down here in Dumbass.

The Big Story is America being the fattest nation of Earth.

My Story is a rare trip downtown to see the Lucy Exhibit here in Houston – which as chance would have it – happens to be the fattest city in the world.

What with lines and waiting and outside excursions to keep my smokers company, fat dominated the day. It was worse than I had imagined and there sure seemed to be a correlation between fat, income and race.

On the way to the museum we had stopped at a very big very new Kroger off the Interstate to see how much better it was than our crummy little Kroger back home. With competition across the road there was a price war of sorts going on. Great deals with a produce department bigger than our entire store back home.

Now Google-map into the poor wards inside the loop, or any loop. No big or new or grocery stores of any kind at all. Between bars, liquor stores and hock shops selling guns, there are a few Quickie Marts, fried chicken shacks, Burger Kings and McDonalds. All over-priced with food that is the cause of obesity. It is the same most everywhere in the poorer parts of your cities, millions of minority families with little or no transportation have little choice in what they eat.

As to Ms Lucy, the actual bones impressed and the full size glass enclosed doll was heart warming. Standing up do straight! Shoulders back! Eyes front! Lucy would have made a small but good Marine. She was also cute and thin. On the way out there was a registry in the form of an ancient looking tome filled with parchment, no lines or columns. My wife carries a red pen – always ready to grade the rest of us – which I borrowed to scrawl over an entire page:

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