John Oliver weighs in on the recent release of President Warren G. Harding’s steamy love letters to one of his many mistresses. Now we know with absolute certainty why the letters have been under lock and key for one hundred years. John Oliver says it for all of us: “I’ve gotta say Damn, Warren, you’re nasty!” If you believe that Harding looks stern in this photo, prepare to change your mind. This is dark,smoldering (1920’s vintage) passion you see!
A very tame paragraph in a letter to long-time mistress Carrie Fulton Phillips follows: “I feel there will never be any relief until I take a long, deep, wild draught on your lips and then bury my face on your pillowing breasts.” “Wouldn’t you like to get sopping wet out on Superior-not the lake-for the joy of fevered fondling and melting kisses?”
Harding was a player (or playa) Often considered to be the worst president in our history, he does excel elsewhere. He holds the title of most philandering president in the history of this country – but you didn’t read it in the papers. Harding spoke freely with reporters without fear of seeing his words in print.
Speaking to a group of reporters at a private party at the National Press Club, Harding confided. “It’s a good thing I’m not a woman. I would always be pregnant. I can’t say no” Let us pause and consider the media explosion if President Obama whispered such a sentiment even in jest.
Harding’s cheating is the stuff of legend, but it’s agreed that the celebrated letters were written to the love of Harding’s life, Carrie Fulton Phillips – the wife of a very good friend…Their affair lasted 15 years, during which time a lot of trees died for their love. Within the voluminous pages, there is much talk of fevered fondling, jealousy, proclamations of love and explicit descriptions of lovemaking that would make a seasoned madam blush.
There is some debate elsewhere as to whether it is acceptable or odd for a man to name his own private parts – Harding was a firm believer in the practice, naming his stalwart member Jerry. His lady love received steamy proclamations of love from both Warren G. and “Jerry,” as it seems that Jerry also spoke to Harding. Wrote Harding:”You recall Jerry…He told me to say you are the best and darlingest in the world…I’m sorry, the rest is X rated. “Jerry” is even naughtier than Warren G….So, you truly must watch the video!
Harding isn’t rated the worst president because of his womanizing…A fact which must make Bill Clinton go apoplectic.
Harding’s political shenanigans were the stuff of legend…Teapot Dome anyone? He hired crooked friends, and there were scandals involving the Justice Department, the Veterans bureau, the shipping department and the Prohibition bureau. He discussed business within the White House,serving bootleg whiskey, while the rest of the country thirsted under Prohibition. He may have been a pal of Nucky Thompson (of Boardwalk Empire)
Poor Warren was only President for twenty-nine months before dying mysteriously on a trip out West. It was rumored that his wife Florence had poisoned him because of his adulteries.
“I cannot hope to be one of the great Presidents, “ he once said, “but perhaps I may be remembered as one of the best loved.”
In a sense, he achieved his life dream…How many of us can say that, even if people are going to snicker about us in 100 years? In this day and age where nothing you write truly goes away, we’d do well to take a lesson from Warren G. and if you write it, make it memorable, and for crying out loud, use your spiel chocker.