On Last Week Tonight, John Oliver devotes a much deserved rant to FIFA President Sepp Blatter, who will most certainly win a fifth year in the upcoming election. I’m not much of a sports person, so it helped when John Oliver suggested that those who don’t know Blatter, should imagine Roger Goodell, then imagine his – um…porthole, which he assures us resembles Sepp Blatter.
Blatter is the innovator who tried to rally interest in women’s soccer by jazzing up the uniforms, only to meet lawsuits and complaints! Some people just don’t like progress… Okay, ‘progress’ as defined as hot-pants. When John Oliver says a hairless bear would do as good of a job as Blatter, the bear would assuredly do less harm. FIFA would lose the criminal pall that follows it under Blatter’s leadership. Fixed soccer matches, bribe scandals, corruption and discrimination lawsuits are par for the course with Blatter at the helm of FIFA. Bears don’t play that. Even the United States FBI is after Blatter for wire fraud and money laundering. Why is everyone picking on Blatter and FIFA?!
John seems to feel that there is even something fishy about Blatter’s recent awarding of the 2022 World Cup to Qatar. Oliver cited the heat which is much like temperatures found on the face of the sun; but quipped, “the Sun does have a much better human rights record.”
With all of this, Seth Blatter refuses to comment or campaign, saying: “My manifesto is the work I have done in FIFA , I stand by my work.” John compares Blatter’s ‘work’ to that of a puppy who has been left home alone all day. Standing by his efforts, the puppy dares you to abandon him again, saying; “I stand by my work…You’ve seen what I can do.”
Like all of nature’s predators, Blatter serves a purpose. His ‘work’ with FIFA has made the NBA, the NFL and the Olympics look relatively transparent and scandal free.