On Last Week Tonight, John Oliver notes the current Japanese mania for mascots. Initially mascots were encouraged as a way to engage people with government programs and services; with 1500 representing every local district. The private and public sector have embraced mascot mania, and the freaky genetic combinations of animal, cartoon, machine and plant life are everywhere! One such clone is the slavering bear with a melon head that you’ll see terrorizing a group of small children with the ferocity of ten Ted Cruz mascots screaming ‘The world is on fire, little girl!’
The dancing suits make personal appearances, popular videos and up to a billion dollars a year! John reckons that we in the United States would be silly to ignore the mascot craze, and he is right. We could certainly use friendly goodwill ambassadors for our government agencies. Because we do not have time to send the idea through the usual committees and government bureocrisy, Last Week Tonight got us started with 12 genuine life-size, dancing mascots of our own! You’ll want to be among the first to see:
Department of Justice represented by: ‘Scales,the Blind Iguana’
Immigration & Customs Services:’ Hamilton, the Pig in a Sailor Hat.’ “Look out! He’s coming to depork you!” groan
Health & Human Services: (very) ‘ Creepy Baby with Hulk Hands in a Tutu’
Department of Transportation: ‘Stripe, the Steampunk Skunk’
NSA: ‘Hoot the NSA Owl’ – He wants to know Whooo you are talking to.
TSA: ‘Spike the Hedgehog’ who Collects 4 oz bottles of shampoo and Swiss army knives
Dept of Energy: ‘Ramjet the Dancing Ram’
Dept of Agriculture: A dancing soybean
NASA: A space gecko
Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco & Firearms: A Bald Senator
Dept of Treasury: Cornelius the Illuminati Pyramid