I had a cousin who was impregnated by the Holy Spirit.
The power of this most necessary and heroic mocking of religion is not so much that it spins the manner and satire of Stephen Colbert, but how they choose to use a properly tinted nice kind happy pleasant average believer rather than the per usual obnoxious silly nitwit. You know, an intelligent American voter. Here! Hear! Well done.
I did the content of this twice some 20 years here…
[warning] The Christian Mythology
“Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.” God, Numbers 31:17-18
There are two taboos in this society which neither the politicians nor the media will address. The ignorance of the mob and the neurosis of crawling around to supernatural deities. Allow me to correct that deficiency.
So God (or his representative) zooms down to Earth and porks this underage Jewish virgin. Not a one night stand mind you, but from what we know, a one minute stand. He finishes it off, gives it a shake, pulls up his pants and ascends back to his golden throne to do his new thing, nothing ever again.
Of course he doesn’t marry the woman nor does he ever give her or the child one penny in child support (or support of any kind for that matter). Subsequently a swell guy comes along and marries the sullied woman and brings up the illegitimate kid as his own.
After the little bastard grows up he finds himself in a load of trouble with the powers that be because he’s unemployed, running amok in a dress and yelling and screaming about replacing hate, violence and vengeance with love, forgiveness and peace. Oh, and overthrowing the Roman government. So they nail the long-haired maggot infested liberal do-gooder hippie to a dead tree. He hangs there forgiving everyone but finally cries out to his real father to come help him. His father is too scratching his balls and ignores his kid as usual.
What a swell lesson in family values! We should be jamming this stuff down our kids throats not for a voluntary minute a day in school, but all day, every day until they all become Jerry Falwell. I have given this a lot of thought and have concluded that basing a religion on Pee-wee Herman would be a step up.
[warning] Pregnant Homeless Woman Denied Room
If God didn’t want people screwing at 13 why did he make them sexually mature at 13? Is God stupid?
UPI – Bethlehem, Dec 25 33BC – A homeless pregnant woman claiming to be a virgin and her husband of a few weeks, were denied a room today at the El Beth Inn. She and her long haired, dress-wearing supposed husband, dragged a bag laden mule around town looking for a place to stop and have a quick baby. They found an open animal pen where the woman went into labor. She produced a healthy boy and breast fed it. The woman who would only give her name as “Mary” was later arrested for indecent exposure and vagrancy. The child, “Jesus Doe” is now in protective custody awaiting disposition of fornication and illegitimacy charges against “Joe and Mary Doe”.