What is missing in the Lazarus story, the ending of the Jesus story and the Walking Dead show on TV is the smell. Dead people, even a few days old smell really bad. Wait… I do recall in the movie The Last Temptation of Christ the Lazarus scene. They roll away the rock and everyone covers their noses with their Jewish hoodies and go Pee UUUUUUUUUUUU. Christians didn’t like that scene. Or when Judas kissed Jesus ON THE MOUTH. Or when Jesus had on the cross dreams of getting married and becoming a family man rather than hanging out with 12 unmarried dudes causing trouble. You know, like a gang.
I guess when Jesus flew up to Heaven the smell of being three days dead didn’t bother anyone because from what I hear, his rising was seen only from far away and across a lake. But on the Walking Dead TV show they never hold their noses. What’s with that?
It’s like if you are ever a pall bearer at a Jewish Funeral. Suddenly you find OMG even with five other guys I many not be able to get this thing to the hole. Raise your hand if you know why that is.
Jesus rejects the marketing scheme presented here, but there is no question that Jesus is a NRA Life Member. For as we all know down here in Dumbutt, when Jesus is not out screaming MURDERER at women in front of clinics, pulling the levers in the death chamber or dragging Mexicans to deportation camps, he is at the range with Chris Kyle learning to become a sniper, the bravest warriors of them all. Hey, they had a cup of coffee, what else could I do?