Best Advice From A Higher Being: This goes hands down to Joe the alleged Plumber. Much like David Shuster, who is filling in for Keith, I hope the “Big Guy” will change his mind, and give Joe the go-ahead. After all, the horses the GOP have
been betting on are coming up rather lame this week. Think Palin and Sanford. As you’ll see, when asked by an interviewer, as to whether Joe’s future plans involve running for public office. See Best for yourself to experience the agony
of defeat as Joe explains, as only he can, how he’d discussed this with God. The answer, much like the great Biblical answers passed down through history, was “He was like, ‘No'” Another plus if Joe’s “boss” changes his mind, and says “Like, yah..ya know. Run for it Joe!” Hey, at last he’d have an official title, Joe the Candidate, then Joe the former candidate, but enough of this confusing plumber business!
Best New Law: It’s difficult to argue with this one! Lawmakers have passed the Oklahoma Eye Tattoo Law. I assumed they were speaking of merely outlining the eye in a kohl pencil type of look, and being a bit reactionary. Oh how wrong I was! Who knew that a qualified Opthamolotist would inject permanent ink into the whites of one’s eyes, all the better to appear to be a real zombie! The problem is, that they have an inordinate number of red and purple eyed blind zombies stumbling around from this dangerous practice. They’re passing the law knowing full well, the fun seekers will hop across the border to Kansas for a little Zombie make-over.
Best Assault and Subsequent Arrest Using a Salted Weapon: Perhaps the first arrest for using harmless looking Cheetos puffed snacks. James Earl Taylor and Mary S. Childers were apparently having a discussion which led to a disagreement. Verbal abuse turned to physical abuse – using the little cheesy puffs! They would leave a nasty semi-permanent yellow-orange dye on you and your clothing, but the fight was
drastic enough for police to arrest them for domestic assault. This, I regret we cannot see in technicolor! It’s just fortunate they were not moved to BB-Q that day,else they might have had skewers, or rib bones lying around!