John Oliver bids adieu to Ryan Lochte, ‘America’s Idiot Sea Cow’ – who rose to worldwide recognition by literally phising all over the Rio Olympics – while vandalizing a gas station, and handled it all in the most douche-like way.
The good-bye video demonstrates why Lochte was once called “America’s Sweet, Dumb Merman.” After Rio, Lochte is hardly considered ‘sweet’ anymore, but rest assured, the ‘dumb’ label will be with him forever.
Actual Lochte quotes:
“What I was always good at, was like – was letting things go through one ear and out the other.” “Douche bag, I don’t even know what it is…What is it douche bag?”