2011 Top Story: Navy SEALS Discover Bin Laden Gained 300 Pounds
It can finally be revealed that when he was taken down by U.S. Special Forces, who were following the orders of President Obama, bin Laden had gained 300 lbs. Secluded in his compound with little physical activity other than eating in front of the television caused the shocking weight gain. In other words, bin Laden’s final months resembled the life of the average American.
Now that despondent healthy food guru Jamie Oliver has thrown in the towel and gone back to Britain, First Lady Michelle Obama must take on the project of gently nudging Americans into healthy eating and activity alone. Mrs. Obama hopes that bin Laden’s tragedy will be an object lesson to sedentary, junk food eating Americans. Those who refuse to benefit from this object lesson will be enrolled in an advanced program. Those in ‘Scared Skinny’ will view the video taken of bin Laden’s body being removed from his compound via fork lift.