Political Tests

African-Americans should:

1. Have equal opportunity

2. Stay with their own kind

3. Be owned or deported

4. Be shot

Women:

1. Should have equal rights

2. Should stay in the home

3. Are only good for one thing

4. Should be shot

People of different religions:

1. Are as worthy as I

2. Should become what I am

3. Are going to Hell

4. Should be shot

Homosexuals should:

1. Have equal rights

2. Become heterosexual

3. Be beat up

4. Be shot

Liberals:

1. Are fine with me

2. Are pinko commies

3. Are evil tools of Satan

4. Should be shot

Hillary Clinton:

1. Is a bright articulate women

2. Is a witch

3. I hate so much my teeth hurt

4. Should be shot

Animals:

1. Should be treated fairly

2. Exist for our pleasure

3. Should be shot and eaten

4. Should be shot to rot

Bigotry and racism:

1. Are wrong

2. Are my right

3. Are good

4. Are my best traits

Socialists:

1. Should move to pluralism

2. Are worse than Hitler

3. Are evil tools of Satan

4. Should be shot

Affirmative Action:

1. Is the right thing to do

2. Is okay unless it affects me

3. Is racism worse than Jim Crow

4. Makes me want to shoot people

Jesse Jackson:

1. Keeps hope alive

2. Is an uppity Negro

3. I hate so much my hair bleeds

4. Should be shot

Barack Obama:

1. Is a good President

2. I hate so much my ears bleed

3. Is a baby murdering communist

4. Should be shot

SCORE: Add up prefix numbers of each answer.

12-15 Human
16-24 Conservative
25-36 Conservanazi
37-48 Conservanazi from Hell

Republican Party Admissions Test

1. Can you say “my country right or wrong”?    Yes   No

2. Are you more or less intolerant than you think you are?     More   Less

3. How much do you hate sharing your stuff?     A lot   Very much

4. Do you whine about taxes every:    second   minute   hour

5. Check number of guns owned:    10    25    Lost count

6. How many people would you enjoy shooting?    5    more than 5  millions

7. Who do you hate most?    Blacks   Muslims    Gays   Liberals

8. Hours a day spent hating above choice?    8 hrs    12 hrs    24 hrs

9. Would you kill anyone speaking ill of your mother?    Yes   No

10. Are you an Aggie? (If not sure check Yes)    Yes    No

11. What upsets you more?  Nuclear-warfare   Genocide   Affirmative Action?

12. Check machinery you can operate:    Revolver   Pickup truck   can opener

13. What organizations are you a member of?    FOX   KKK   NRA

14. What sports do you participate in?    Shooting    Golf    Hunting

15. Put these words in the correct order.    God    Race   Country  Family

16. Can you quote Sarah Palin without feeling like an idiot?    Yes    No

17. Hours a day you listen to Rush Limbaugh?  1 hr  2 hrs  3 hrs

18. Does this questionnaire phis you off?    Yes     No

Words Mean Things

Rather than me do this for you and be charged with bias, do it yourself. Get a sheet of paper and a pencil. Draw a vertical line down the center. Label one side Liberal and the other side Conservative. Add the following words to the column the words best represent.