Snowy Conditions Proving Hazardous For Nation’s Idiots
Do not attempt to mow lawn.
Do not eat de-icing salt.
Do not start fires indoors.
If you urinate on self, change pants immediately.
Wear mittens.
Snow is cold.
Avoid walking, running or driving into trees.
A garbage bag does not make a great coat.
Keep icicles out of eyes.
I have to take issue with making fun of Mr. Conahay. Remember that strange time in your life between being a kid and being able to drive? Well being from Wisconsin, I and my pals – wearing those old black snow boots with the buckles – spend not a few snowy days and nights grabbing on to the back bumpers of cars, trucks and buses "skidgitting" down the streets. I was not only fun but a real means of transportation in a snowstorm. The drivers couldn’t see us back there. But I do recall that encountering even a small piece of snow less road was problematic. Instantly so. It was also one of those things we never told our parents.