Stephen Colbert, vodka drinking terminator bears in rehab

Eulogy. My friend Stevey is no longer with us, but one night… We had taken a wrong turn in our Beetle somewhere down in the Yucatan. To correct it we had to turn around and drive most of the night. After midnight we stopped at a Pemex station to gas up. There happened to be traveling circus camped out for the night there. Steven wandered over to one of the cages. He always had a big bag of cacawaatees (peanuts). The station was well lit and he closed in on the bars to give a peanut to the bear. The sleeping bear was not interested in peanuts, instead, it reared up wearing a red tutu and swiped the sleep interloper across the face removing some small part of Stevey’s nose. A bandage sufficed but it left a scar. A scar with one of the best scar stories going.  Stevey was known for a bit of embellishment, so it was "A BEAR IN A RED TUTU BIT OFF THE END OF MY NOSE." Which was a fair enough embellishment. 

A few years earlier on our first Mexican adventure we had not traveled far when we needed to gas up. We had passed many gas tanker trucks with the words PEMEX and PELIGRO written all over them. Stevey got out of the car at the pump as two Mexican attendants approached. Stevey shouted to them PELIGRO! PELIGRO! Thinking it was the word for gas. The Mexicans stopped moving forward. Stevey then took the gas cap off, pointed into the hole and once again shouted PELIGRO! PELIGRO!  The attendants then ran inside the building. Our next big important learning word was Heilo for the beer in the cooler.