T-Mobile, put it in your butt!
A pill that vibrates your constipation away! What a good idea. The problem is that Vibrant is not yet available, so in the mean time just put your phone on vibrate and stick it where the sun don’t shine.
Isn’t this old news? Didn’t our neighbors to the South figure this out centuries ago with the Mexican Jumping Bean? And wouldn’t one of those old hip shakers from a hundred years ago do the job? Or even one of those naughty vibrators used in the general vicinity?