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Candidate in coma leads GOP field, ONION

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GOP Race Heats Up As Candidate In Coma More Appealing Than Rest of Field

At last the race is heating up. There is one candidate who keeps his hands to himself, who doesn’t condescend to lecture about whose turn it is to speak or cry out for the moderator as a last resort – and he is looking good! Another point in his favor, today as protestors ruined John Boehner’s golf game, this candidate has not played golf in eight years!