The US Congress today passed a bill holding
automobiles to a higher standard by 2020. Automobiles must, by that date, be
considered 40% more efficient.
Some congressional aides, who wish to remain
anonymous, were quick to point out that they never define “efficient,” and that
the new law will not have any effect on the search for alternatives to fossil
fuels. Indeed, some say there may even be clauses buried in the bill that
discourage any sort of renewable energy, calling it “horseless carriage
thinking.”
“I mean, that steam, solar, geothermal, and wind
technology, … really man,” said congressional staffer E. Ramsey Bolstetl. “That
stuff is linked with the way DaVinci thought. We’re hoping for something a
little more real, and a little more ‘outside the box” like dilithium crystals or
something..”
Most agree that the 13 year window will give
Halliburton and others time to scarf up all the “newer” ways of generating
power, so they can continue the business model they have adhered to since ex-CEO
Dick Cheney came on board. Rolwathel Kindineth, a major stockholder from
Delhi, said “Dick did it right, and we’ll do right by him. Even if we have to
corner all the quartz and tuning fork technology on the planet.”