FLDS Zion Mothers make West Texas Sex Vacation Hot Spot

Jodie Foster and FLDS WomenWith the ruling from the Texas Supreme Court last week that the children are to be returned to the Mothers of the West Texas FLDS Yearning for Zion Eldorado cult compound, newly appointed Texas Chamber of Commerce spokesman Larry Flint said that West Texas will now be competing with Bangkok and the Dominican Republic as one of the top sex vacation hot spots in the world.

Harry Scuznutz, in charge of marketing and advertising said Texas cannot help but become a contender as this will be the only venue where girls as young as 12 will legally be made available to white men. Scuznuts added,

"This is a win win for all concerned. Not only will these little girls be made available directly by their mothers, but these hottie moms are expected to be present and may also choose to participate."

When asked about the legal ramifications of having to marry each girl before each sexual act, 14th Amendment issues that only WHITE MEN will be allowed and the requirement that all customers must vocally "yearn" through prayer to have all 7 billion people on Earth burned to a cinder in the next few days [except of course members of the FLDS ] Scuznuts was upbeat adding,

"The marriage business is just word of mouth and like previous marriages within the cult not worth a virgin’s hymen. And sure these mothers and little girls are racists but Hello!, this is Texas after all. As to hoping everyone in the world but themselves drops dead? Again, what can I say, this is a very Republican state with the Western half already mostly burned to a cinder. We also have the bonus of having President George W. Bush living nearby! So after our customers enjoy a fine West Texas white pride experience, kindly Christian death prayers and a good diddling on a little girl, they can leave their regards to George who helped make it all possible. These bonuses are not available in either Bangkok or the Dominican Republic."

When asked if any 12 year old boys would be available the FLDS mothers were horrified and snapped at the reporter, "What kind of people do you think we are!?"

  • Newscat

    Great article and pic though.

    Apparently you can break the law with impunity if you’ve created a numb nuts “church” with your favorite illegal passtime written in – and even more strangely, draw willing participants.

    I’ve noticed the MaryJane as a harmless sacrament churches aren’t faring nearly as well as the child abusers. Says a lot about this country…as if the last eight years hadn’t said it all.

  • x.smith

    And that’s what makes it the Best Little Whorehouse in Texas … RIP Marvin Zindler 2007.