First up is the Republican Clown candidate they come up with every four years. Donald Trump replaces Ron Paul in that category for 2012. Though it is possible both clowns will run which will make the debates fun to watch.
Next up we run through the entire gambit, all of whom now have to genuflect to the alter of the Party of Tea Bags.
Tom Pawlenty quit being the Governor of Minnesota to run for President this cycle. The once moderate Republican of a progressive state has sunk to his knees for the Party of Tea Bags to call for a return of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. But you say, the Party of Tea Bags is about economic issues not social issues like guns, gays, race and abortion! Some Republican told you that and you believe them? Silly you.
Next comes the short and inconsequential Governor of Indiana Mitch Daniels who took away collective bargaining from State employees 4 years before his friend Governor Scott Walker.
The front runner it seems is Mitt Romney who is in deep trouble for Massachusetts RomneyCare which is the same as the Republican reviled ObamaCare. Romney has a lot of work to do at the alter of the Party of Tea Bags. Though if he does make it through the coming Tea Bag primaries he does seem to have the best chance in the general election. Tall and nice hair…
The next five presidential candidates all work for FOX NEWS. Wow, think on that a minute. Wow. All of whom must give up their News Corps jobs and paychecks if they throw their hat in the ring.
You have the top war mongering Neo Con in the world (and a whole) John Bolton.
You have Rick Santorum (a mix of semen and poop – google "santorum") and Mike Huckabee (Gomer Pyle) who are gay hating, no abortion for any reason, creationist evangelical fundamentalist Christians.
You have Sarah Palin who has become the Sister Aimee McPhearson of your time, rise and fall included. Her only real claim to fame is a nice ass, a big gun and a lot of animal blood on her shoes. Stupid men enjoy that. In fact I would bet if she were to hike her dresses up a few inches and always shown with a beer she would win the next election by 10 points.
And last but not least Newt Gingrich – who seems posed to be the first to declare as soon as next week. Forget the character issue, the hypocrisy, the womanizing, all the marriages, the egomania and the megalomania. Forget he has the biggest head size ever recorded in high school football. Forget that his looks could have given him a best supporting actor nomination as in inmate in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest." Take a look at just the few things in a endless list of things he has been completely and utterly WRONG or CRAZY about.
"The most serious, systematic revolutionary of modern times." Newt Gingrich on Newt Gingrich.
"We must expect the Soviet system to survive for a very long time. There will be Soviet labor camps and Soviet torture chambers well into our grandchildren’s lives." Example of New Gingrich’s prophetic grasp of the future.
"Kill jobs and lead to a recession, force people off of work and onto unemployment and will actually increase the deficit." Gingrich again waxing prophetic regarding President Clinton’s 1993 budget bill. Gosh, how wrong can a person be?" Newt Gingrich
"Public Broadcasting is a sandbox for the rich. The NEA and the HEH are simply enclaves of the left using your money to propagandize your children against your values." Newt Gingrich
"They still don’t realize that the appropriation is gone, that the game is over. The power of the Speaker is the power of recognition, and I will not recognize any proposal that will appropriate money for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. What they should be doing is planning for the future." Newt Gingrich
"In Washington DC 800 babies are left in dumpsters a year." Newt Gingrich with a very big lie. It was not 800, it was four. But considering his views on abortion and welfare he may just help his lie come true." Newt Gingrich
"Put your baby in a dumpster, that’s Okay." Newt Gingrich explaining what liberals want when he was questioned about his plan to initiate 19th Century orphanages." Newt Gingrich
"Most People don’t realize it’s illegal to pray in school, most people somehow think that’s not true." Newt Gingrich with another flat out lie. Praying is allowed in public schools as long as it is not lead by government employees or so loud as to disrupt the education of others." Newt Gingrich
"Up to 25% of the White House, when they first came in, had used drugs within the past 4 or 5 years." Newt Gingrich just making stuff up.
"On Inauguration Day, they’re breaking the law and doing drugs. Two days later, they’re in the White House. This must be the most disciplined set of addicts in the world…" Poor loser Newt Gingrich making stuff up four years later regarding the Clinton Administration.
"The Federal government made a Danish heart pump illegal that was used in ambulances that kept 54% of people alive who would otherwise now be dead." Newt Gingrich with another flat out lie to further demonize the government. Official tests of the pump proved it to be of absolutely no benefit whatsoever.
"Give the park police more ammo." Newt Gingrich response to a reporter who asked what to do about the homeless a few days after the police shot a homeless man in front of the White House.
"The problem isn’t too little money in political campaigns, but not enough." Newt Gingrich on campaign reform.
"Somehow on the left… you can do anything you want and nobody seems to notice. But if you are a conservative and… you make a single mistake you better plan to be pilloried." Newt Gingrich making the most hypocritical statement since Bill Clinton became President.
"If you sell them (drugs), we will kill you." Newt Gingrich
"Thug!" Gingrich on Speaker of the House Tip O’Neil.
"Nuts… A drug addict." Newt Gingrich on Kitty Dukakis.
"The Clintons are counterculture McGovernicks." Newt Gingrich on yuppie lawyers Bill and Hillary Clinton.
"I have enormous personal ambition. I want to shift the entire planet. And I’m doing it. I am now a famous person. I represent real power." Newt Gingrich
"Gingrich – Primary mission, Advocate of civilization, Definer of civilization, Teacher of the rules of civilization, Leader of the civilizing forces." Newt Gingrich on Newt Gingrich.
Everything there is to know about Newt Gingrich