It’s fairly obvious that the Tea Party needs a new leader. In this video by Key & Peele, they set out to snag one! Not being original thinkers, the TP feel they just may need an African American candidate. It worked for the Democrats, after all, and they have already tried women as candidates…Not that Ms Bachmann and Ms Palin aren’t warming up on the sidelines. .With all of this in mind, the Minnesota Tea Party was ready to pounce when they heard someone of mixed race innocently complain about the taxes taken out of his paycheck. He then joked “might as well join the Tea Party.” “You hate the government too!” The beaming Tea Party recruiter appears as if from nowhere, to shout, “You are the Chosen One!” Equipped with an ‘easy-on’ suit, flags, his new “people” and a gun, our dazed candidate is on the fast track to unwilling Tea Party leadership…Barring any accidents.
A quick look at more likely potential Tea Party candidates for 2016 reveals that they may soon need to resort to draft measures much like the ones Key & Peele spoofed in this video. A recent straw poll of 250,000 TP Patriots revealed that Ted Cruz (truly!) is leading the undeclared candidates with 40% of the votes. Rand Paul follows with 21% and a reluctant wife, while Scott Walker has 10% nailed down. There must be enough Koch and kin to make up ten percent for unpopular Walker. I know what you’re thinking. Do not be downhearted. Sarah Palin fetched a whoppin’ six percent. I had her pegged for a good 30-40%. Her fans constitute a loud six percent, who rarely miss an internet discussion with Sarah’s name in it. Finally, the remaining voters were either undecided or someone dropped a decimal point somewhere.
From the appearance of this tired roster, the Tea Party might do well to do a bit of stealth recruitment after all.