Gold: David Feldplausch and Sandy Day, Director of Montcalm Country Emergency Services and West Michigan Shoreline Regional Development Commission, respectively. Homeland Security deserves a spot here as well for the far-sighted and flexible approach they have adopted to protecting the homeland. Now every emergency services organization in every single county in the USA will want, no – need, several state of the art, $900. Arctic Blast Sno-cone machines! Okay, so David calls it an ‘ice-shaving machine’ which he claims – and rightly so, makes more sense. Says Director David, "I assume it will get used in Montcalm County a lot more in the summertime by the Fire Corps." So would a regular delivery of beer kegs, I’ll wager, but it may take more doing to justify them as a security measure…Just barely.
Silver: Sheriff Joe Arpaio. The Tea Party darling of the non-traveling pink pants brushes aside multiple charges of corruption that just keep on coming. Arpaio is Tweeting – rather crowing that he has found the evidence that dedicated Birthers working round the clock for over three years have missed. That’s a born lawman and tracker for you.
Put in 8 hours of harassing and humiliating tent prisoners then hit the trail with his bloodhound on important business! Olbermann tells you where to find the spellbinding information that has Michelle Obama worried sick, sick I tell you! Hint: It’s in the Tea Party version of ‘The New York Times.’ The information is relevant to them in this publication, but the crossword is still a toughie. I know, that snark only deserves a very weak ‘Meow – Hiss!’
Bronze: Bill O’Reilly and Ann Coulter tie. Ooh La La, together again, and so close Bill might hand her a Loofah! Big Bill can’t and won’t hide his snide and ignorant racism – even when talking to or at, as is his custom with everyone, an African American man. Little Annie Coulter has a very devoted friend in Sean Hannity. Despite Hannity’s protest, Anne’s reference to Jeffrey Dahmer was not her version of knee-slapping humor or a playful sense of irony.