ONION: Ron Paul campaigns in old-time jalopy, Akron disappears!on July 11, 2012 at 6:00 am
Mitt Romney may be the hands-down GOP nominee, but Ron Paul still has a devoted Independent and Libertarian following. Paul may have officially stopped campaigning, but he recently flew into Akron, Ohio in a cloud of steam belching from his wheezy and whimsical old-timey jalopy. Some believe the jalopy is a metaphor. Paul is quoted as saying that : “The U.S. government is a lot like his old jalopy — way too big, overly complex, wasteful and Ron Paul is the only one who knows how to fix it.” That’s right, more privatization, no dependence on your tax dollars and law and order in the hands of individuals…Paradise!
Of course another theory might be that Ron Paul’s wacky ideas are as likely to fly as that steam powered jalopy. So far, no theory explains the disappearance of the entire population of Akron, Ohio. If it had been a largely Democratic town, Voter Disenfranchisement of the Third Kind would be suspect. As it stands, it’s probable that Ron Paul supporters are being cloned. What? Is that truly less believable than the following he now enjoys?