SNL Weekend Update, Aunt Jemima & Cathy Anne on Comey Firing

SNL Weekend Update, Aunt Jemima & Cathy Anne on Comey Firing“Hell, if I could fire whoever I wanted I would still have my job at Pizza Hut.” Cathy Anne [Cecily Strong] brings the Comey Firing down to working class reality.

Cathy Anne is more together than most anyone I know in Texas. In fact other than immediate family I do not know anyone who did not vote for The Donald and by the way, now loves him more than they did when they voted for him. He is the Lord of a finger in your face.

I had a conversation yesterday with a neighbor who I sometimes go fishing with. The big story down here is that this year’s Red Snapper season in Federal Waters is now only 3 days.

From here, Galveston Bay, Red Snapper are out at least 25 miles in the open ocean. And if it is windy those three days there is no season for anyone that does not have at least $100k wrapped up in a boat.

So not to bother you will all the history and facts of this let me just give you the gist of how that conversation went, as do most conversations here in Texas.

Yeah, it sucks. But I read a big four page article about the whys and wherefores of it the other day.
WHERE DID YOU READ IT?
The Houston Chronicle [a Republican lite paper] BWHAHAHA, THE HOUSTON CHRONICLE! YER KIDDING RIGHT?
Anyway the Federal DNR counted the catch…
YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THE DNR WENT OUT AND COUNTED EVERY FISH?
No, it’s done statistically and they found that…
I DON’T BELIEVE IT.
The same numbers came up from the Texas DNR as well.
I DON’T BELIEVE IT.  HOW MANY PEOPLE DOES IT TAKE TO COUNT EVERY FISH IN THE OCEAN?
Statistics.
BWHAHAHAHA
So, commercial fisheries get 49% of the catch and sport fishing gets 51%.
I DON’T BELIEVE IT.
It’s the law, the rule and it is enforced.
I DON’T BELIEVE IT.
Okay, hmm, the issue is that they count all the snapper both inside the 9 mile state limits and outside in Federal waters, add them all up to make the decision. The problem is the drop offs in Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama and Florida where snapper live are inside the 9 mile state limits so those states get the majority of Red Snapper while in Texas one has to go at least 20 miles offshore to catch them. And those states have year round large catch and bag limits on snapper, same as we do, but we don’t get any. So we lose.
I DON’T BELIEVE IT.
Which thing don’t you believe.
ANY OF IT.
So what do you believe?
OBAMA….