Gold: Carl Allen and The New York Post may have merged with a supermarket tabloid. If not, they should circulate the rumor promptly. The latest attention grabber goes something like this: Tricky Taliban terrorists
training fierce fighting monkey marksmen (possibly led by Bat Boy), and they’re good shots too! Lest you
think I jest, Apple Daily from Hong Kong brings you an enactment of the diabolical plan, besides you can’t make this stuff up!
Silver: Eugene Toady, it’s a pity that customs agents are saddled by suspicion of their fellow man. Doesn’t
everyone wear an ankle bracelet in solidarity with Lindsay Lohan? Toady may have had a little more questionable baggage that did nothing to diminish their suspicious world view.
Bronze: Brian Kilmeade, go Brian! If there is one thing unemployed folks need, it’s an overpaid air-head to “sober them up” and get their asses out the door and out of the lap of unemployed luxury.