WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Shortly after world powers successfully negotiated a nuclear-framework agreement with Iran, Sen John McCain warned that a lasting peace with the Middle Eastern nation “could greatly limit our ability to bomb it.”
“President Obama is hailing this framework as something that could enhance the prospects for peace in the Middle East,” McCain told reporters at the United States Senate. “For those of us who have looked forward to bombing Iran for some time now, that would be a doomsday scenario.”
“The Iranians know well and good that if they abandon their nuclear program exactly the way we’ve asked them to, we can kiss bombing them goodbye,” he said, shaking his head ruefully. “It’s a damn shame.”
As for President Obama, McCain added, “Sometimes I think the President cares more about making the Iranians happy than about making the people who want to bomb the Iranians happy.”
With the deadline for finalizing a nuclear treaty with Iran set for June 30th, McCain said that there was still a chance that talks could break down and allow the United States to bomb it, but added, “I’m not getting my hopes up.”
“If we all wake up on July 1st and we’re at peace with Iran, don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he said.
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I want to remind everyone that even with the Obama win on this along with his overall foreign policy, that Republicans throwing Netanyahu and stupid letter bombs into the process only to further their own dying political ends in their coming Benghazi election, that this is not Obama vs Iran, there are five other nations in this deal who have put in as much work as we have.
Why doesn’t that jump out and hit everyone in the nose? There is something very wrong with diplomacy between Iran, Germany, France, Britain, the American Republican Party, Russia, China, and the United States.
Also keep in mind that the GOP in not with the vast majority of Americans on this issue.
And hey, Andy Borowitz may be the king of American printed satire, but he is wrong on this. We can always bomb the crap out of Iran, which is sure to calm things down in the Middle east.