Gold: Newt Gingrich got a surprise when – in what was to be a proud moment – he unveiled his newly printed ‘Newt 2012" T-Shirts. Gingrich made the mistake of showing them to the press, who are known for asking pesky questions. When all else fails, blame the undervalued, unpaid volunteers.
Silver: Glenn Beck, feeling invulnerable, wants us to know that we can continue to ‘take him out of context’ – presumably by quoting his vile, hateful lies verbatim. You see, he is comfortable with being The Victim. I hope this is a permanent position and not like a game of ‘Tag.’
Bronze: John Culbertson, TX Congressman. If Undercover Culbertson hasn’t answered your email, and has been difficult to locate, it’s because he’s on a super secret mission! He could just ask the Veteran’s Administration for the answers he seeks, but Culbertson is a do-it-yourself kind of guy, and quite probably an idiot. Undoubtedly it’s more fun to play cloak and dagger in the hope of finding President Obama to be a God-repressing Communist!