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American Political Divide for Dummies & Monkeys

American Political Divide for Dummies & MonkeysTo begin with Republicans need to read more than one book in their lives and start spending their hard earned money on Depends rather than on guns.

Next is we all need to put the Middle East out of sight and out of mind. Sure I like the existential beauty of sand, rocks, rubble and Kalashnikovs as much as everyone else, but we could try a 12 step plan to rise out of it.

Then there are the big five Republican lies that even Republicans know are lies:

Evolution is a lie.
Global Warming is a hoax.
Racism has nothing to do with it.
Supply side economics will fix the economic divide.
Guns have nothing to do with gun deaths.

So many sheep so little time…

You know we hear much about “studies”. How much do they cost and how can I get funding for one?

I need enough to rent two bare cinder block buildings about 25′ by 25′, one revolver, 100 AR15s, 200 monkeys and 200 bananas.

In one building put 100 monkeys 100 bananas and one Colt .45 revolver.

In the other building put 100 monkeys 100 bananas and 100 AR15s with 40 round magazines.

Close the doors.

Come back in a a few days and we will have the quality and quantity issue on guns finished once and for all.

Wait… Could we save money by using 100 Southern white men and one hot babe with the same results?