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The living Hell of small talk.
When I am on an elevator I like to discuss the nature of God and poverty in sub Saharan Africa.
Speaking of engagement… Back in the day, being the beach bum, and water wharfrat that I am, I spent a fair share of time with a video camera at outside t-shirt contests and such.
I realized that pointing a video camera at the contestants and asking them a few questions was a great way of meeting the prettiest girls around. I asked them just two questions:
“If you were to win the contest today, what would you do to make the world a better place?”
Sadly, most answers had to do with shopping, the most prevalent being, “Shop til I drop!”
But the best one was. “Kill jerks with video cameras in my face.”
My second question was…
“So, how many men have you made love to?”
The best answer was “not enough” but you would be surprised how many would do lengthy finger counts and revisions for the camera. My favorite was the prettiest girl I ever say in person down in Key West who immediately answered “FIVE HUNDRED!” And not to forget the few who said “NONE, I am a lesbian.” But the one I heard most was “One.” So give the ladies ONE.
And you know there are probably a dozen VHS tapes of all that sitting somewhere that neither I nor anyone ever watched. After all, it’s the journey not the destination.
By the way, I just finished perhaps the most important little book on that very thing. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. The spiritual will especially like it. Listen to your heart…